Sing me a song

My heat wants to sing you a song for you . My heart sings a melody that sounds similar to fear .my heart leaves it's self bare not hiding from the past in hopes someone can feel its pain. My heart clings to the past in hope for a better future to learn form its mistakes and become stronger my heart is warrior and no longer sings that fearful song . It sing a song that sounds similar to happiness and strength

Author's Note

Ignore grammar, write anything,criticize so I can learn to become a stronger writer !

Reviews

[Erin Thomas]

As far as the poetry, the emotion is beautiful. It needs a better closing line that just grabs the reader's heart. I agree with the previous reviewer as well. You need to focus on the grammar too because it can change the meaning of what you are trying to say. My favorite example is the use of commas

Let's eat, granpda!
Let's eat grandpa!

The former represents cannabalism, and the latter a commonplace phrase. You can also use grammar and punctuation to your advantage. For example, Emily Dickinson was famous for her use of the hyphen. The reader would have to decide how to interpret it, and it added to the mystery of the emotion in her poems.

I love this poem, but it could be so much better with a greater focus on grammar and punctuation. Keep writing!

[Ashley]

Thank you so much Erin, I'll keep the comma rule in mind when I'm writing my next piece.

[oxo]

the thought is there, beautiful. but in order to be a good one, you must also pay attention to grammar so that your writing may not be misunderstood, such as spellings, punctuation marks and all. but anything else aside it, very nice :)

[Ashley]

Thank you , for the advice I really took your words and Erin's into deep Consideration

[Chidoriflower]

This is lovely, truly. My heart sings a song!!!! :D