Prologue: Loveless Lamentations

Why me? Why this life? Is this life all there is? Am I crazy? Will I ever find love?

I never knew that God could be fake. I never even thought of it. It never crossed my mind until now. Everything is falling out of my grasp, and it must be his fault, because it is nobody else's. I can't sleep at night, because I see demons around me. When I try to stay awake in the day, my body just falls. Everyone around me is telling me I am lazy, and I can't even care less anymore. I just hate them. Nobody should waste time judging me, of all people, when I have given them nothing but love and smiles for so long. Now, when I have a rough time, they bash things in my face? Like hell they will. Nemesis, Goddess of Retribution, my best friend, she is all I can count on to give me justice. 

Even worse, I have never told my family this horrible truth. They will surely shun me when they hear that I, their precious little earth angel, likes other men. It just happened, maybe Mom is to blame since I watched her cycle through men, never finding the right one. Maybe my father, for making me feel a lack of a man's support in life. I was raised by nothing but women, and when I was young...

I... I played with my sister every single day I could... I... I remember her smile, and the feeling she gave me. I have bits and pieces, but her voice, her touch, what I truly miss, is gone... She never could speak, nor could she walk, she was always still smiling, so brave... She radiated love, and everyone who met her fell in love with her upon first glance. Something now, tells me she plays a role in my issues today. She is the reason, I am feminine energy. When she died, I lost memory, but she gave me her essence, as she left for the world beyond, and now I am her shadow. She was strong, and now I have her similar traits, and they are being challenged by something; something evil I fear. 

God has abandoned me, and with my lack of sleep, and these horrible faces I see, I'll surely die before I reach her age. Twelve years old she was, she had so much left to do, but she knew her time was up. She smiled, and said she loved me, somehow, when she normally could only make sounds. She was sick, very sick, but I never knew. I was so stupid. I don't even know if I said it back, I just left for bed. The last one to see her alive. And then, I was rushed out of my bed and as I was carried out of my room, I looked to hers, and saw her on the floor, then fainted. My brain went into shock, and I woke at my neighbor's house. I ran home, to thank her for a gift she had given me, but my Mom sat weeping, and the house was silent. I asked for my sister, and Mom said "She's gone." I yelled at her, called her a liar, and ran to find her empty bed, and I fell to my knees and wept. Every night, Mom would listen to sad songs in her room, and I'd sneak and sing to my sister, hoping she'd hear me.

I need to know, is she still here? Is she above? What will happen to me? I want to see her, I need to, we can all be together again. I know we can...