Filthier Souls

Not being able to be with who you love is a terrible thing when they want the same thing. Maybe killing your heart is the only way out.

I try to break into my chest to rip out the palpitating useless heart that's within.
Many times it's been bruised and tarnished.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and that's probably my greatest mistake of all.
As crumbled and battered as can be it slowly beats barely alive.
Should I let it live or put it out of its misery forever?
The blood is drained and the weaknesses are exposed waiting to be destroyed.
My heart begs me for the end.
Do I give it eternal peace or do I let it live to only deal with more pain?
No one is to blame for the state my heart is in other than myself.
I always said that my weakness is that I care too much and still I give.
My kindness is my biggest enemy and my love for people is my destruction.
Emotional suicide is the only way out there is no point in going on.
There is no use dwelling over lost souls that are filthier than mine.
It's useless to love when we fear the pain that comes along with it.
Maybe I'm meant to live alone and not know what true love is.
I take the blade across my skin slowly watching the blood drip while writing out emotions as it falls to the ground.
Each tear that runs down my cheek is a memory of a time my heart cried.
As the warm blood turns cold on my skin thoughts of happier times  run through my mind.
I feel myself weakening and sliding down the wall with a slow smile spreading across my lips.
I feel my heart beat getting slower and slower.
The music playing is fading away and all I hear is my breathing minimizing.
I know the time has come and that it's now all over.
I feel myself leaving my body and I start walking away.
I turn to see what I have done with a devilish grin.
I see the blood on the floor and I thirst for more.
I killed myself emotionally once and for all.
I watched my heart die tonight, and that's the last memory of pain I will ever feel.