The Rearview

She tried to break me. It's up to me to make me. Save me.

And sometimes the inspiration comes from sweat-soaked sheets from night terrors of a future sans you, when all you really need is the truth...


"The Rearview"

Finally figured out today
A tricky little secret
The kind tucked away
Under layers and layers
Of my own inner demons

Insecurities and change
Don't handle them so easy
But I really gotta say
I'm tired of being 
The rock
The safe place
Where you always turn to
For validation and love
I am no longer your completion
I don't need you 
I don't need you
I don't need you
Anymore

I'm still fighting through each day
Cause yesterday was just make believe
Where one lie ends 
And another you create
I could not tell you the difference
See, I was heartbroken
Ashamed 
Too weak to see the real you
Or the blessing that you gave
Cause never again
Never again
No, never again
Will I believe in you

My trust and My faith 
You held a hammer and a stake
Yet still I believed in you
No matter how many swings
No matter how many flings
Pierced me clean through
I covered for you then
And to this very day
I don't know why
But I f*****g still do 

Breathe, easy, always
Cause that's not the way
This story will continue
No longer will I proceed
Putting you before me
As tomorrow looks 
Far more promising
The less of you I believe in 
Cause darling I don't break
I will piece me back to completion
Your true nature revealed
Has finally set me free
I just had to see through
See the real you
And in a whisper
I'm a ghost
I'm your past
Unafraid
In your rearview

I find my smile these days
Amidst thoughts of my freedom
Always & Forever
I will never stop
I will never surrender
I will always love
I will always give
I still believe 
I still believe
I will always believe in you!
I say to my own reflection
Smiling back at me
In the magic of the mirror

© Brian Milici
December 13, 2014


May you always find your smile.

Author's Note

Feedback is adored, as always.

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

I have felt the same way as you have in this amazing write. I felt weak and blinded. I felt much in too deep in "love" and was too frail to leave. It was as if my life depended on being with that person. But there always comes a turning point where we snap out of our delusions and leave. We may be at our weakest, but it is our strongest decision yet. And soon again we learn to be strong and we know no one can complete us, but actually, the selves within us.

[Brian]

Sorry it took me so long to reply! Thanks so much for your comment. I'm just getting used to the site. There's always a fine line isn't there between what we believe in the moment, and then what we see when the sun has moved and fully lights what once was cloaked in the shadows?

Truth.. such a difficult thing to attain. Always shines the brightest.

Thanks again.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Wonderful salute to bad ending!
Always be strong and be broken because of someone else
Bittersweet memories colored by truth.

[Brian]

Yes, festivals should be made to honor that bad ending, but I love the idea of saluting it. So stealing that. :D

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

That is fine because it fits. :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

I don't know if you intended for it to, but this reads like a very nice song. Taking that step towards freedom is tough, but oh so worth it in the end.

[Brian]

Aww, thanks. I have developed a peculiar style I think. I wish I could write songs! For me, the most important quality in my writing is a key phrase or line that stands out and the flow. I like a smooth rhythm. It sometimes makes for choppy reading since I have a cadence in my head while writing that many won't later read, but sometimes it works wonderfully!

Thanks so much for the comment:)