Unlit Melody

We stand and held each other

like we used to be together, a love is what they asks

i spun in madness, for i follow what the melody has to offer

but no fire has lit, for we are only fools trying to wear fine masks

We step and held each other

like we love this night, a love is what they thought 

i lay my breath, for i follow what this romance has to offer

but no fire has lit, for we are only fools trying to naught

We look and held each other

like we used to be lovers , a love is what they want

i drown in ecstasy, for i only follow what the melody has to offer

but no fire was lit, for we only fools trying to flaunt

We make and held each other

like we love the way they matter, a love is what they cast

i broke in laughter, for i follow what this act has to offer

but a fire has lit, for we are really fools trying to held a past

Author's Note

sorry for any problems here!
please need suggestion teehee.
thank you

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

what a beautifully heart felt piece... wonderful write!

[=Kirakishou=]

thank you for reading!

[lost girl]

This has a great basin to it! It is full with emotion and things that you must look sideways to see. A couple of tweeks and it will be amazing! I would first change the held(s) to hold throughout. Re-read it and see what you think. Change 'asks" to "ask" in the first stanza, second line. Change "has" to " has been" in each stanza where -but no fire has lit; but no fire has been lit. Capitalize your "I". YOU are a very important person:) Hope the polish helps, but you already shine. Thank you for sharing.

[=Kirakishou=]

that you for the grammatical errors, i'm very grateful for your review,
now i can sleep in peace..haha.