An Enemy Bigger Than My Apathy

Rip the earth in two in your mind

Seal the urge which ensues with brass wire

Sitting in the bathroom, I could hear music coming from my sister's bedroom.

I never meant you any harm

Your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm

My hands were blurred by the tears in my eyes.

I close my eyes for a while

And force for the world a patient smile

My eyes closed, I picked up the blade.

How can you say that your truth is better than ours

In my head I saw the texts, the emails, the messages. Heard that voice. Remembered all those words that had made me feel so worthless.

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy, I could have won

I put the blade of the knife against my arm. Pulled the hand holding it towards my body.

Blood trickled from my arm as tears trickled from my eyes.

I close my eyes for a while

And force for the world a patient smile

I grimaced through the pain. It hurt...but it wasn't bad.

I gave you all...

And you rip it from my hands and you swear it's all gone

And you rip out all I had just to say that you've won

Now you've won

Now you've won...

Author's Note

I'm trying to write a book. I haven't gotten very far yet, but this is one scene in the middle that I really wanted to write before I lost the idea, so I wrote it here.

Reviews

[Ron Jeremy]

The writer here is good, but the references in the beginning are rather vague and unimpactful. The repetition of words and dark imagery just contributes to a rather negative but un-connectable passage. The reader needs to be able to identify with a powerful passage like you seem to want to create here, but consistent repetition of sadness and unhappiness with life distances readers who find it overly whiny.