The Promise

There never was a promise of another spring to come,

no more gentle bird songs, nor beatings of your drum.   

There never was a promise of sunshine all year long,

no more white waves crushing, nor children chanting songs.   

There never was a promise of soft landings on dying leaves,

no more golden harvests, nor music to fill our eves.  

For all that was not promised, one promise true did stand    

that of winter lasts eternal without you in dying lands.

Reviews

[Jazique]

Sweeeet. Short, simple, and direct. It's like once that promise of someone being in your life forever is gone so everything else in the world tha tbrought you joy. Anyways well done.

[Sunny Seng]

I like it. keep up the good work.

[Neon]

It's an adorable poem. Nice work, You just wrote it right from the depth of your heart. I liked the flow of your work.

[Mark]

Lourisa, this is amazing! You have come so far, both with your rhyme and your meter, in the few short months I have known you! I am QUITE impressed! Best of all, there does not seem any sacrifice of flow or content made by incorporating R&M! Wonderful job!

[Curio Arca]

The repetition of "there never was a promise" lulls the reader into a rhythm that is broken, and artfully so, by the one true promise in the concluding lines. Well done.

[Judy Ponceby]

Heartbreaking Lourisa...

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is a great little poem.