Mutual Submission

2012

    I.

Her voice comes clean and clearly,

Through an early morning haze--

It waves away what might seem dreary

And offers maps through my cognitive maze.

     II.

Now, as my eyes begin to focus,

She becomes the epicenter of vision;

And after a night that nearly broke us,

We each offer mutual submission.

     III.

As if to offer further humility

To each and every passive gesture,

She leans forward to kiss me,

Find my hand and locks our fingers together.

     IV.

And as I forget just why we were

At each others throats in the first place,

I learn that I am forgiven, as I

Have been forgiving myself--Touché

Reviews

[VinneTheCreator]

Really really good. Like I don't quite have the words to describe why it was good but you seem talented. May I ask if you used an iambic meter?

[Louis McKraker]

Thank you, Vinnie.
I have used iambs, but not here. If it seems musical, it's because I wrote this particular piece on my acoustic.
But if you want iambic done really well, I recommend my friend Richard.
He's really good with that.

[Ghost writer]

this is very thought provoking

[Louis McKraker]

Thank you, Freak.
I love your name.

[Ghost writer]

you're welcome and thank you

[Lizzy]

Beautiful and clear. Well done. I'm glad that this poem is in existence, and that you have created it.

[Louis McKraker]

Thanks, Lizzy.
I like doing these soft flows.
I prefer a mellow tone if I can have one.