Captivating Nothing... At All Costs: Fear

Another rant for the internet. A daring saga which came from a story that hadn't the sass I needed. 3/5/2012

          The teacher was wearing a green shirt that reminded me of key lime pie which is a horrifying piece of pastry. It's taste always seems to grasp me the wrong way. His shirt softly hung around his chest and fell flat around his belly, implicating his weight loss which he had reinstated many times into the student's minds.

          It was the teacher's first time watching new faces listen to him, which, I can see, is something he has grown to love. He wants his students to see him as a friend first then a teacher... I am sure his decision to wear his key lime pie shirt played a big part in his strategy of self-awareness, which the class is about. But who are we, the students, becoming aware of? You, the teacher? Or that, from now on, this day of every week we will become aware of your own nobility among lesser beings and that you don't like people being late. Life is hectic, s**t happens, no need to have a dumb narcissistic attitude towards a lady who walked in 10 minutes late because her son just got down with filling her purse with chocolate syrup. Fear in the depths of that late bell has given me a chance to seek revenge on his tight grip. Savage!

          It's the fourth week now of seeing his face and I have to say his patriotic arrogance is growing on me. I believe this is due to the students are now willing to participate in the discussions which disables him from talking. When he does talk through the students' conversations, he does find constructive ways to direct the debate effectively. I want him to grab these discussions into more scarier directions so that I wont have as much trouble falling asleep as I do now.

          I've never had a problem falling asleep in classes because I cherish knowledge. . . The classes in which I have fallen asleep is when the teacher has mixed in his own private life into the lecture, or gone on too many tangents; which is a deadly virus that surfaces almost always in lectures. . . When the mind is free to roam without any outside authority to object its choice of direction, the unweathered soul will not intervene.

          On the other hand, I believe my soul is a weathered soul. . . A soul that has been given to me from someone who has listened, throughout his or her life, to people who had no real grip on their words or how they enter other peoples ears. Do not think I'm here, on this godforsaken planet, to listen to what ever word comes into thought. Your job as the host of your polluted mind is to take its frantic firing of thoughts and filter them into simple lists of words that form sentences that form ideas and perspectives to give me an overall idea of who you are. Simple people are never boring. Quite people are much more interesting than the blabbering guy at the end of the couch at a party, who you can't wait to pop in the mouth, who is talking about his crazy ex.

          Oh how violent this has turned. A true case of bloody skeptics. An American expertise! Who has the right to say what anyone can say really. I like to believe I can, which allows me to think I have control. . .  Imaginative control; useful, but its counter is much more pleasing. Having no control is the essence of fear, and fear is stimulating! It creates sensations in our body we feel nowhere else. Happiness is dull and always short lived. Anger and depression is happiness' friend that is always just around the corner. Its inevitable.

          Now fear, my friends, is a different story. With fear, we always start from the lowest we can go. We can't drift any lower than fear. So what happens when we take that first step into its darkened aura? We take one step away from its grip on us and into realization of our own capabilities. Now nothing is better than realizing you can when you knew for sure, you couldn't.

        Fear is a dreadful thing: The Unknown. What will happen next scares us more then what has happened before, but what is the difference? Why not let fear help and get yourself into the unknown and turn the light on? Because right there and then, there is only on thing known: there is no more darkness.