Chapter 1 - Student Life

It was my housemate Nadia who signed me up to Tinder. She had decided that it was the perfect way for me to get out dating again after splitting with my ex Josh. At first thought I wanted absolutely nothing to do with this new faze of online dating. The thought of getting myself dressed up for someone I didn’t know felt just too bizarre for me, and actually I’m an old fashioned romantic at heart. I still believe in chance encounters and trust fate to bring the right people into my life when the time is right. 

Online dating was however, something that everyone it seemed, was just … doing. It was this brand new, exciting way to meet new people. Rach was having a fantastic time meeting all kinds of lovely men, who were taking her out for dinner and cocktails every week. I have absolutely no idea how that girl managed to leave Uni with a 2.1 under her belt!

Nadia eventually took it upon herself to create an account for me on her iPad, which she happily swiped away on her iPhone. I always was behind with the latest obsessions, I must have been the only student in the whole of Manchester without a smartphone. Nadia chose her favourite photos from my Facebook account and proudly presented me my bio that she had written. Flicking through my own profile was a very, very weird experience. I felt like I’d just been added to some kind of people market, like the cattle market if only the farmers told you their cows’ interests as well as their age, name and height…. 

What worried me the most was not being able to tell who was looking at me. Was I really prepared for strangers to know that I exist and live within a ten mile radius of them? And why the hell would anyone want to know that I prefer Galaxy over Dairy Milk?

Louisa Jayne, 23, lover of films, chocoholic and French speaker! According to Nadia the French-speaking part was essential and would for sure get me on loads of first dates. 

“It’s the whole sexy French European thing, trust me, guys love it!”

Nadia took her delicious home-made nachos out of the oven, our favourite snacks for dissertation-writing fuel. We had to open the kitchen door to let some fresh air in and de-steam the windows, we couldn’t even heat up a tin of beans on that hob without the kitchen wanting to combust. On the up-side, we managed to save a lot of money on heating writing our dissertations in the kitchen over winter.

“Trust me, Louisa,” Nadia said, her beautiful choppy black hair following her around the kitchen. “You will love it. You’ll get so many matches I can’t wait. We could even double date! This is going to be SO much fun”.

She joined me at the table and we continued our usual half working, half chatting routine, tucking into the nachos.

“I’m sure it is fun Nadia”, I replied, “I just don’t know how I feel about this whole online dating thing. How do you know who it is that you’re really speaking to? You’ve seen Catfish …”

“LOVE Catfish”

“I know - great show! Well, not so great for the people being cat-fished.”

Which brought me back to my point … do I really want to put myself out there this way?

I had a look at the first profile. John, 24, same height as me, studying for a masters in Archeology. He seemed pretty laid back with a pint in one hand, a nice smile, shaggy hair, wearing a scruffy, red chequered shirt.

"It just feels weird to me Nadia, randomly connecting with someone online. This John for example… he looks really nice, chilled, seems like a normal guy, but how do I really know he’s not a psychopath?”

Nadia threw her head back and chuckled, she had a great way of lightening up any situation. 

“He is not a psychopath. Here, let me see”.

She twirled the iPad towards round to her and leaned over the table, nodding and muttering sounds of approval as she swiped through his pictures, until … 

“Ah….oh no. No, no, no.”

She spun the iPad back to face me and sprung back into her chair.

“No?” I asked.

“He’s 5’9! He’s too short for you. Nope it just wouldn’t work.” Her silver hoop earring were dancing left to right in disapproval, as Nadia continued tapping away on her laptop.

“Yeah, well I probably would tower over him on nights out. Seems a bit harsh though, dismissing him because of his height.”

“No it’s not!” 

“It’s not?”

“No!” Nadia closed the lid of her MacBook and slid it out of the way, leaning forwards and sighing at me. I was beginning to realise just how much I had wasn’t grasping about online dating. 

“This is the whole point Louisa. Would you ever be interested in a guy you met in a bar, who - fair enough seems really nice and all of that, but was shorter than you?”

I thought for a moment. The last time a guy approached me in a bar it was by a very drunk and swaying middled aged man who had drawn a sketch on his napkin of me and him sat in his Volvo, driving to our future house in the French countryside, pointing out the cheese and baguettes on our patio in case I hadn’t noticed the French flags. I actually wouldn’t have minded a French house in the countryside, now that I think of it. but his steaming alcoholic breath was enough to make you turn down the Taj Mahal.

“Urm, I’m not sure.”

“Come on, you wouldn’t go after him in real life.”

“He might be a really nice guy though. I’m not sure that I’d say no simply because he was shorter than me”.

“But would you fancy him?”

She raised an eyebrows at me with a knowing look in her eyes. According to her, I definitely wouldn’t fancy him at all.

“I guess not”.

“Right. So it’s a no. So, swipe to the left and see whose next”.

I took a final look at John’s profile, who in my head was now poor lovely John who I felt extremely guilty for rejecting. Even though he would have no idea that I rejected him… as far as I knew. I also had a slight niggling thought that I might just be turning down my only chance with ‘the one’. How had John had gone from being a nice, laid-back, hard-working student, to a potential psychopath, to someone I couldn't get married to in heels and potentially the love of my life, all within just a few minutes. I don’t even wear heels.

Whilst I was battling this ridiculous battle with myself over someone I had never met, I noticed that Nadia hadn’t given it a second thought. I must be taking this all far too seriously and had to have a word with myself. Do not, Louisa Jayne, start worrying about upsetting the feelings of people you don’t even know from Adam! 

Following Nadia’s instructions, I swiped poor lovely John to the left, but not without saying sorry first.