Emergence

Goodbye to the place I was inspired to go 

by the man who nurtured and loved me so. 

Did he know that after his death I'd need 

isolation in which I could finally grieve?

How grateful I am for the darkness

I resented and resisted at the time,

as out of which I emerged transformed

with the wings I needed to fly. 

  

Into darkness I went quite often 

sleepless nights I'll hardly miss 

nor the burden of expectations 

and the dread of tomorrow's gifts.

After love I chased in anguish 

an ally I made in dust 

they ran from the fire I held

and I learned the true meaning of lust.  

I walk away from this chapter

reading the very last lines

close this toilsome book in relief 

finally this is my time.

Bless you for the lessons 

and the time to acknowledge my thirst 

how not to give all my cups away 

without drinking from them first. 

Release gave brith to a sphere 

in which to recover and breathe 

its power severed the chains of guilt

I was tasked and prepared to heave.

Laying down my sword I come clean

listening to the voice I have found

'look forward to the light once again

to your own destiny you are bound'. 

Author's Note

I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for reading this, thank you.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This one has the sound of a survivor's tale, a passage through a dark wood and the successful emergence from it. One gets the feeling the speaker chafed at the constraints of a strict upbringing, but now is grateful to the father figure of verse 1. The rebellion hinted at seems to have revolved around sexual experimentation and the inevitable mistaking of lust for love. Things appear to have been very dicey for a while, but now peace has been made with the past. The speaker credits the old man's laying of a strong foundation for the successful negotiation of stormy waters. The next chapter is faced with confidence.

[Laura Kate]

You have shone such wisdom and insight on this piece John. The father figure is my grandfather who set high hopes for me with my education which I finally achieved after his death. I was only able to accept his passing and grieve him after this process was completed 7 years later. In which time, I made all the mistakes necessary in order to learn and yes finally peace has been made. I am grateful for the good men in my life, father too, who laid strong foundations for me. You were spot on with so much of this, thanks so much for sharing your thoughtful and considered review.
Laura.

[Gee]

We all need good people in our lives, role models, mentors, folk that with their life skills , knowledge will gently judge us in the right direction, even if this judging is not realized at the time.
Enjoyed this LauraKate

[Laura Kate]

Thank you Gee, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
With best wishes,
Laura

[barleygirl]

This is stunningly intelligent. V1 is a mind-grabbing opening. I can't get over how you balance the push-and-pull effect of honoring a treasured gift that it's time to walk away from. This mashup of feelings describes true life. Your poem could be about an old man with lessons to teach or it could be about a tree that's taken me on a healing path. There are a million different ways we go thru treasured experiences in life, but then we have to admit when the magic is over & we need to move on. Your poem conveys the heaviness & the lightness of how this can feel. Amazing clarity! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Laura Kate]

Thank you Margie, such a lovely review. I am so glad that you can feel this in your poem, thank you for sharing that with me! With best wishes,
Laura

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i, too, see the father figure....and how later in life i appreciated my father so much more than in my formative years when i was so rebellious towards him....
i never really could see that "it was for my own good"....but yes...i see now that it was...and am grateful as well.
thanks for this write...it is a reminder...i still miss him so much.
j.

[Laura Kate]

The father figure is my grandfather, I had a fantastic relationship with him and I miss him so much, but he was 83 when he died. I was angry at the world for taking him before I was ready, but it was selfish of me, I should have counted my lucky stars that I had him for 21 years when so many people are much less fortunate.

I'm glad that this brought up nice sentiments for you about your dad Jacob. I'm sure he knew how much you loved him, despite any rebelliousness towards him which appears to be part and parcel with having children! :)

Laura