I

There is so much happening inside 

and it’s often too hard to explain 

so I wish I could slice myself open 

and stand outside in the rain 

for the water would rush to the pieces 

that my veins can't reach to ignite

finding seeds left in the darkness

which couldn’t be seen by the light

and the plants and flowers would bloom

and the colours would come rushing out 

and I’ll feel alive at my fingertips 

and you’ll see what I'm really about 

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

oh man! i love this ..fantastic metaphors and personifications ... scene painting is vivid .. totally relatable .. love love love the positive attitude .. those seeds .. things we know about us that are good and wholesome and worthy .. but we hide them for fear we won't be accepted ..such original stuff here LK! cut me open .. me veins can't reach ... searing pain as cleansing rain falls on bloody open wounds ... and then the seeds ... so much of the real, strong, beneficial things about life are the result of that river of pain ... so much more than any of our joys ... so glad I happened to check out your pages ... fine stuff you are sharing says i! :)
E.

[Laura Kate]

How did I miss this, E?! Thank you so much!
Laura.

[Cherrie]

This is interesting and an expressive write. Letting the soul cry out for change.

[Laura Kate]

Hi Cherrie, thank you for visiting my page and for your thoughtful feedback! Best wishes,
Laura

[Cherrie]

My pleasure Laura

[Neville]

we see but the tip of the iceberg.. the rest is an adventure... N

[Laura Kate]

That is true! Thank you for your comments Neville
Laura

[Neville]

........... N:)

[alanwgraham]

You have chosen very apt and luscious imagery to describe how we keep so much hidden Laura. I'm sure we all have this problem of revealing the real I but perhaps revealing too much is the real issue. It's a tightrope. Very thought provoking.
Cheers.
Alan

[Laura Kate]

Hi Alan, I certainly know what you mean with the tightrope analogy! Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.
Best,
Laura

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An empassioned plea depicting a protagonist troubled and unsure of themselves but so wanting someone special to see them. A nice rhyming piece.

[Laura Kate]

I truly love your perspective and understanding of this piece John. Many thanks for your feedback.read moreI truly love your perspective and understanding of this piece John. Many thanks for your feedback.
Laura

[Olivia Danielle]

I hope this poem defines you. It is a lovely poem and makes you seem like a lovely person.

[Laura Kate]

Such a touching review Olivia, thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your comments. Best wishes, Laura

[jacob erin-cilberto]

even though not a big rhyme fan, i like this...the pace is good, and the metaphors used work very nicely...
j.

[Laura Kate]

I'm really pleased you like It Jacob, thank you very much