What do you tell, someone who cannot listen?

What makes me cringe, is the pain that I feel.

So many twists, turns, I've lost control of the wheel.

I cannot face myself, knowing I've done it once more.

I locked my heart, but she broke through the door.

I stopped what I thought, was a damaging upcoming.

I committed to her, but what I was becoming.

Took over my mind, and corrupted my brain.

I tried to fight it, but she won all the same.

How do I say the words, she doesn't want to hear?

I couldn't bring it to myself, for her to shed a tear.

I fucked up again, and I knew it would happen.

Who am I now? To make a happy ending?

I don't deserve what she gives me. I wasted it all.

And I don't want her to see it, when I start to fall.

I thought I was okay. I thought we'd be alright.

Then she came back, and I lost the fight.

It's eating away at my mind, I cannot give in.

But how do I tell her...If I don't want her to listen?