Hindered

Again with the same context in which Familiar Stranger and Angel on the Other End were written. This is set some months after the relationship was over I regained contact with my familiar stranger. References to a local radio station are held within.

I hate you.

And, of course, by, “I hate you,” I mean I miss you.

So, I miss you.

Just to let you know, by, “I miss you,” I mean I love you.

I guess that means I love you.

In case you’re wondering, by, “I love you,” I totally mean I hate you.

Well, you know what I mean.

At least, I certainly hope you do.

Because God knows I don’t.

I’m starting to feel that way again.

That way where you’re the only thing I can think about.

I’ve felt that way before.

It used to scare me.

But now it only angers me.

I’m stronger than this.

I’ve literally trained myself to be stronger than this.

And yet there you are.

We parted.

We were done.

I put you far away from my mind.

And it was easy; as much as you don’t want to hear it:

It was easy for me.

But now that psychotic amphibian sitting on his not-so-little molehill

Only reminds me of all that I tried to forget.

Just his voice hinders all thoughts I might attempt.

So tell me.

Did I deserve much better than you?

Or was it the other way around?

Are there two sides to our he said-she said fight?

Do you miss the way my innocence tastes?

Do I make it hard to be faithful?

Has it been so long since you smiled?

Do I drive you to drink? Can you stay sober knowing it’s over?

Should I have saved my good-bye kiss?

Do wish the girl in the other room were I?

Do you think of me in the winding down hours?

Do you see the way I hold him when you close your eyes?

Do you question our decision to be “friends?”

Will you think about me when you’re older?

Or did you get the closure you needed?

By the way…

I hate you.

And, well, you know what I mean…