Point of Veiw

A Poem by Amber Kayy

She was the girl who kept quite when spoken to, she was the girl who smiled when people stared for too long. She was the girl who cried every night. She was the girl who wondered where her mommy and daddy was. She was the girl that wondered why no one liked her. She was the girl that closed her eyes thinking if she couldn't see them they wouldn't see her. She was the girl who had to hide in her room. She was the girl who felt misplaced. She was the lost girl.. She was the girl who ate too much at times and at others didn’t eat for days. She was the girl who never fought because she knew what it was like to get it hit. She was the girl who cared to much. Loved too much, Trusted to many. She was the girl who took pills hoping god would realize everyone was better with her gone. She was the girl who felt like giving up. She was the girl who fought for the troubled boy who was just as helpless as her maybe just because she loved him or maybe because she had faith in him because no one had it in her. She was the girl who never said what was on her mind, never stood up for herself, never saw her worth. But then that same girl was the one that got lied to, disrespected, hurt and left alone. So now she's the girl that’ll stand up for what's right and wrong. She's the girl who doesn’t need anyone to make her happy. She's the kinda girl who will try and try and try again for you but once you burn that bridges there's no rewind. She's the girl that’ll always love you, but she's always the girl that’ll call you out on your s**t. She's the girl that isn’t scared to get to close, because no one has the power to break her again. She’s the girl who opened her eyes and saw her own worth, because no one else did. Never put your happiness in someone else's hand, because honey, everyone leaves eventually even if its death do us part. We were born alone for a reason, we will die alone. I believe our job on this earth is to find the people worth hurting for because everyone is gonna hurt you at the same point. Its our job to make the decision on how many times we are gonna let them hurt us. She was the girl that realized it wasn’t his fault, it was hers for letting him crush her over and over again. But she's learning to be the girl that knows how to let go of the people who don’t see her worth. She's learning to love herself and focusing on the fact that she knows her worth it, not the fact that HE thinks she’s not. She was the girl that craved being protected. She's the girl that's learning to love him from a distance again because he's nothing but a heartbreak and this time she's not gonna let him back in. She was the girl who showed him love.

Hes that boy that has been hurt so much that he doesn’t even have the power to love anymore. He’s the boy who decided to settle for less than he deserved because no one told him how amazing he was, no he will never see it or understand how truly blessed he is. Hes that boy who just wants to be locked away because that’s the only way everything and everyone will go away. He’s that boy that’d rather be on his own. He’s that boy that acts like he has no feelings because he doesn’t want to deal with the way he feels. Hes that boy that doesn’t know how to accept love because he's never known it. He was that boy that didn’t ever stick around because much like the girl he never felt like he belonged. Hes that boy that lost so many people, that losing people no longer fazes him. He was the boy that said things without thinking while mad, and most of the time apologized later, He was the boy who made promises knowing he didn’t know if he could keep them. He was the boy that said “I love you” not really sure if he meant it. He was the boy that hated when people messed with his family regardless of the the relationship they had. Hes that boy that protected his. He was the boy who pushed people away after awhile because he was no longer happy. He never stayed that way though. He was that boy that everyone was scared of. He was tough. Oh but he's that boy that’ll run and run and run from his problems until they catch up to him. Hes thats boy that is very loved. Hes that boy that’ll never be able to love her back the way she deservers. Hes that boy she will never stop loving. He's that boy that showed her hate.

Together, they’re toxic. But they will understand each other on levels that no one else ever will. Maybe they fight with each other so much because somehow they always make it back together. For once someone is fighting for them.. They found their place, In each other.

5-15-16

Where’s my Jordan at?

Lost In A Crazy World.

Well I miss him..

Me too..

That little conversation explains lot.

Shes didn’t plan on loving him..

She misses him..

She misses his blue eyes..

She misses his chuckle..

She misses hearing his snores in her ear in the mornings..

She misses his protection..