The Words. The Actions.

The actual events of a relationship of mine

Eyes locked across the science lab.

Perfect chemistry.

Shown truely through the sparks lighting our hearts.

Honest interest layed down on the table.

 

Lips locked, cutting through the thin air between us.

Perfect distance.

Shown truely through the kisses shared.

Honest passion layed down on the table.

 

Hands locked at our sides.

Perfect fit.

Shown truely through our intertwined fingers.

Honest feeling layed down on the table.

 

Eyes locked across the room.

Perfect problem.

Shown truely through the girl holding onto your shirt.

Honest shock layed down on the table.

 

Lips locked ... just barely.

Perfect draw-back.

Shown truely through your pleading voice.

Honest fogiving layed down on the table.

 

Hands locked loosely.

Perfect secrets.

Shown truely through your strange behavior.

Honest confusion layed down on the table.

 

Eyes locked, though it's forced now.

Perfect downfall.

Shown truely through the words you speak.

Honest hurt layed down on the table.

 

Lips locked, though only in dreams.

Perfect torture.

Shown truely through the way you made me feel.

Honest anger layed down on the table.

 

Hands locking the door.

Perfect nothing.

Shown truely through you standing there.

Honest pain layed down on the table.

 

Eyes locked on the ground or anywhere, but eachother.

Perfect pain.

Shown truely through our shaking voices.

Honest tears layed down on the table.

 

Lips locked shut.

Perfect listening and not believing.

Shown truely through my hate filled eyes.

Honest hatred layed down on the table.

 

Hands locked at my sides.

Perfect shock.

Shown truely by your cutting words of honesty.

Honest forgiving flooding back.

 

Eyes locked on your face.

Perfect heartbreak.

Shown truely through my rushed choice.

Honest dissapointment layed down on the table.

 

Lips locked in a pout.

Perfect regret.

Shown truely through our crying calls.

Honest words layed down on the table.

 

Hands locked for the last time.

Perfect goodbye.

Shown truely through our finale hug.

Honest finish layed down on the table.

Reviews

[Adam :P]

wow. true poetry really good great job

[salvador (camuel choisu..]

great piece of art i would hav eto say. The perfect emotions of a falling relationship and the emotions perfectly pointed out of once actual emotions. great job //_^

[deeps]

WOW!! I so loved this write. This is really truly amazing. This is what I call poetry here, true emotions written out. LOVED THIS!!

[Justina]

the repetive words were just fine. different meanings and situations all expressing different but true emotions. beautiful writing. great structure.

[Alisa_the_fluff_ball]

I.
Loved.
This.
The repeating words and sentence structures are a reaaly unique idea, one that I've never seen before. I really enjoyed it, and so did my OCD, haha. Anyhow, this poem is amazing. The way you carried the reader through an entire realtionship like that was just spectacular! Lovel imagery, great use of words, keep writing!!!

[Kelly Catherine.]

I logged into my account just to reminisce in old memories. I'm rather glad I did. This is an absolutely beautiful piece, and it does give a different look into how things went down with the two of you, aside from hearing it from the leading lady herself. Things will get better from here, and I expect to log in soon and see a much happier poem. I love you, Dollop (:

- Kitty Kay.

[John Stussy]

The story you wove of your old romance was cutting in its honesty. A guy reading this could want to make you go through it with a different version, the version without the pain, the anger, the frustration.

[GrownUpTime]

the perfect story of a failing relationship. heartbreakingly ture, loved the repitition. sometimes it can make writing boring but it fit perfectly!