The Oven

a short summary of an inspiring dream i had one night

The great church sanctuary was endless; the cathedral ceiling was like a black, never ending abyss in which one could hide the world’s secrets.  It was dark, and it felt as if the shadows were creeping in on you everywhere you went; it smelled of black licorice and smoked hickory chips. At the end of the room, where the Altar would have been, stood a grand silver, rectangular box that looked like a stage with sliding metal doors. She walked toward the box confident that she was about to make the right choice. As she grew closer she could see the small spouts in the floor that would come alive with fire and cook her flesh to a crisp. Just imagining what was about to happen made her arms hurt as if they had already been cooked like a chicken in an oven on Christmas. Her friends walked along side her all ready to meet Death. Together they were going to burn alive inside this box. 

Continuing to walk down the aisle she began to doubt her motives. Is this really what I want? Am I making the right choice? Finally they reached the menacing box and one by one they tied their hands with a smooth yellow rope and stepped into the box and took their place, each standing above one of the spouts.  She now doubted herself more than ever. Am I really about to allow my friends to persuade me to take my own life and in a church of all places? She could feel the eyes of God watching her, testing her every move.  She could still feel her flesh cooking even though the fire had not yet started. Three. Two. One...... No. She was not about to go through with this act of suicide. She was stronger than her friends, and more than that, she was her own person, and she was the only one who could make her life change for the better. She jumped out of the box and the deafening countdown stopped. Her friends looked at her questioningly. She looked them square in the eyes and told them that there is more to life than this misery they were all facing.  She took the rope off of her hands and stepped into the cold, crisp night.

Author's Note

there is a lot more to the story and the dream. this is just a very very rough summary and general idea. Ignore any grammar problems. any suggestions with the last bit after the countdown?

Reviews

[John McCabe]

Very good premise you have there. It made me want to know what was going on, who was putting the character in this place, and where *exactly* she was. Your grammar is pretty good even for draft writing; nothing wrong there.

Post countdown, it could develop into something thrilling if you were to make your character fight her way through some kind of maze of sorts, like as if the ride has only begun. That's the first place my mind took me, anyway.

Good work!

[Lost Soul Wander]

I think the Maze idea is wonderful! but maybe the oven isn't just the beginning, maybe it's the conclusion. She could be running from something. I'm not sure yet though. In my dream I do remember them being chased by skeletons. I might try to work that into the final draft.

Thank you for taking your time to read this and for replying!