Papa

Please take time to read it. It is a little (not much) edited version of the second story i penned down.

Anshuman woke up rubbing his eyes and found out that Diya wasn't there. "She doesn't usually get up this early and specially after a late night like yesterday.":- He thought. Anyhow, he went to kitchen and started preparing coffee.
Diya soon came to the counter and picked up her mug. She sipped the beverage and said with a dull look:- "Its positive Anshuman".
He picked up his mug and went to the balcony. Diya followed him. "Anshuman I'm pregnant":- said Diya with a slightly increased level of anger.
"You know what to do, pills are right there in your almirah.":- He said without even facing Diya.
Diya:- "Why?"
Anshuman:- "I've told you we are not ready"
Diya:- "Yes! It is the fifth time you are telling me that YOU are not ready"
She controlled her anger, turned him towards her, hugged him and said politely:- "Tell me the truth no."
"Stop it! You are interrogating me as if I don't want a baby because I'm not loyal to you and we both know it isn't the case":- said Anshuman pushing Diya out of his arms.
She picked up the empty coffee mugs, with tears in her eyes and anger in her voice she said:- "Knowing that you are not loyal to me hurts me more. I am the kind of a girl who wouldn't give a second thought on living with a girl who cheats on her. But this mystery, its killing me from within. I cannot live with it."
She turned to leave but turned back and continued:- "I cannot live with the mystery. And neither with you Ansh. You don't want a baby, you won't have one. But this baby is also mine, and so is the decision". She left finally.
Meanwhile Anshuman was trying to comprehend Diya's words he got a text message from Satvik. It read:- "It was a great story. This one's gonna bring you fame"
Anshuman replied:- "Thanks." He soon got a call and as he picked up Satvik said:- "Whats the problem?"
Anshuman:- "Nothing"
"Anshuman do I need to tell you that being in a friendship with someone for nine years gives ypu the precidion to understand their emotions by reading his text messages?":- said Satvik with ease and added:- "Now tell me!"
Anshuman:- "I can't tell you on phone ."
Satvik:- "Ooh! Serious. No worry. You are coming tonight no?"
Anshuman:- "Yeah!"
Satvik:- "Cool. We'll talk then", he paused and said:- "Listen. Take care."
Anshuman:- "I will. Bye"

Tackling the heavy traffic of Indian roads Anshuman finally reached Bachpan orphanage. He parked his car and went in to see that Satvik was sitting there playing with his favourite baby girl Wamika. Anshuman sat next to him and started playing with her quietly. When Satvik noticed him he wanted to discuss Anshuman's problem but he apparently needed privacy to talk so they headed out.
As it was drizzling Satvik took Anshuman to his car. As they sat down he asked Anshuman:- "What happened?"
Anshuman:- "Diya got angry and left for her mother's home."
Satvik:- "Don't worry, she'll come back."
Anshuman:- "I think she won't. Its serious this time."
Satvik:- "What happened?"
Anshuman:- "She concieved."
"For the fifth time. And again you told her to stop it right there":- Satvik guessed the obvious. "You have been giving her excuses like you are not fit mentally or financially or its not the right time of the year. I am surprised she took so long to respond":- he said with heavy sarcasm while Anshuman just heard with his head down. He then said with concern:- "What's wrong Anshuman?"
Anshuman:- "I don't wanna hurt Diya but almosst every night she talks of having a baby and I just can't tell her to stop dreaming and surrender to her requests."
He sighed and continued:- "But every morning fear overrules my decision and I end up being a selfish man."
Satvik:- "And what's that fear?"
Anshumann:- "Fear that the history will repeat to itself."
Satvik saw Anshuman as if he knew what Anshuman wanted to say.
"I know how easy it is to be a careless father. I won't take my son to the doctor, never ask him about his studies, never play with him just like my father did to me. Papa never taught me how to ride a bike, what will I teach my son? I will never guide him when he shaves first time or seeks my help for wooing a girl because my father taught I'd learn these things by myself":- said Anshuman holding Satvik's hand to avoid crying."
Satvik held Anshuman's hand to console him and said:- "I see your problem is genuine but I think you are exaggerting. If what you say makes sense then you wouldn't even have got married because you came from a broken home. Your dad didn't give you enough time because he never loved you, he never got a reason to love you. Unlike him you love your wife and loving Diya makes you love everything around her including her baby. And babies are, we all know the loveliest thing in this world. Plus your coming to the orphanage for no reason proves how tiny your fear is as compared to your love for toddlers."
The realisation made Anshuman quiet for a moment . Then he said:- "I'll try to get over this fear."
"Not only that, be a father soon coz if you delay a lot you may have twins":- said Satvik picking on him right before his phone rang.
"Isn't it Uddhav?":- guessed Anshuman correctly. "Go home soon your suspicious husband must be waiting for you":- said Anshuman coming out of Satvik's car as he drove away.

Diya was sitting in her living room with her mother, sad for some reason. They were not talking because they just an arguement over an issue. Amidst this silence of negativity when Anshuman entered, Diya's mother stood up to shield Diya. When he wanted to appologise to Diya she said fiercely:- "You don't have a sister no? Guess why can't you understand a woman's pain. My daughter married you for a reason, to have a loving husband and a family and if you don't want the same you two may get divorced."
"No Mrs. Bhatt. I know you are hurt but I've realised my mistake and I am sorry, pleaseclet me talk to Diya":- said Anshuman.
Mrs. Bhatt:- "Wait a minute. Who said you can talk to Diya? And I'm glad that you have woken up. But yiu are late because the harm is already done. She has had the pills and if you had areason to torture my kid you must have shared it with her. She is your wife after all not a prostitute."
"Stop it! Stop it right there!":- shouted Anshuman:- "Who do you think you are to accuse me of such things. Your daughter is an adult and she can talk for herself. Now without uttering a single word of disgrace for her, get out from here! Me and my wife need to talk in private."
Before she could react to this Diya stood up and said:- "Mom, please leave."
Insulted completely the lady left and as she did Anshuman said:- "I am sorry Diya for making you suffer all this."
Diya said:- "I don't accept this appology as I don't want a robot for a husband. I didn't get angry becuse you stopped me but because you didn't tell me why". She looked into his eyes and said:- "Tell me the reason, Ansh"
He waited for a moment then said:- "The fear being a father
I myself had,
Made me,
To stop you."

Diya hugged Anshuman tight, kissed him as if saying through these intimate metaphors:- "Your haikus are too sexy to endure."
As Anshuman caught his breath he said:- "You won't have to wait much. I'll tell you when I'm ready to be a father."
She nodded in agreement and just then her phone rang. It was Satvik, he started right away as she picked up. "Bhabhi I know everything is right between you and Anshuman now. So don't waste time, come right away to my place, well-dressed. Its a big party. Bye! :- He said in one breath.

When Anshuman and Diya teached the venue, they realised what Satvik meant by a 'big party'. The crowd was so big they would have needed a periscope to see what was actually happening. He alone made his way to other side. There he saw Satvik standing next to a beatiful cake, which had written on it:- "Happy 2nd Birthday Wamika."
Uddhav soon came down holding Wamika who looked like a princess and stood next to his hubby Satvik. Then Satvik announced the obvious that he had adopted Wamika and today will be celebrated as her birthday from now on. The loud of applause that followed didn't forbade Anshuman hear Wamika, when she said in her sweet voice:- "Papa"
The word made him to resonate. Suddenly, the fear which held him back for so long seemed so fragile and stupid. He had an uncontrollable urge to see Diya. He tried to locate her. Conversing through their eyes they came closer and closer, reaching a point close enough to touch each other. With her fingers Diya wrote on Anshuman's hand:- "Ready Papa?" He just held her hand really, really tight as if saying:- "You bet?"

Author's Note

I reall y want this story printed in a book. Please tell me if its worth getting published. Also suggest me with a better title and tell me wherever my language gets wierd. I know a part of this story may seem "unecessary drama" to you but thats how i wrote it and I'm nt willing to change it, (at least up until ALL of you dislike it). Please review:-):-)

Reviews

[Rohan Tandon]

It is a beautiful story, I don't contest that. I personally could not relate to it but I'm in no doubt that many across the globe go through this and you have delved into the characters motive real well. Your story is a good study in character.

However, to be perfectly honest, (and please do not take this as wanton criticism) your language does leave quite to be desired. I can see that you have written with the aim at microscopic detailing, however that doesn't serve you very well. It takes from the flow, and makes your writing quite cluttered. Might I suggest generalizing a bit more and perhaps refraining from such attention to detail?

Rohan

[Penny]

Thnx a lot. I'm glad you liked my characters & the detailing, also I felt the same about the language and I'm trying to improve. Hopefully, the next story I post would be better.

[Vidya Bacchus]

I think you story is a good one .Your grammar needs a little fixing .I think you have a very interesting story going.The plot is one that people can relate to because a lot of people go through these things.I think you are right to be firm about not changing certain aspects of your work.Because it is your work and you know why you wrote it as you did.I hope I was of some help:)

[Penny]

Yes u were of gr8 help Vidya. Thnx. & i hope wen u little grammatical u mean little only not much¡:-P. Itsalso gud 2 hear dat d purpose of writing is resolved, i.e. people cn relate 2 it. Thnx a lot.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome my friend and yes not much errors:)

[Penny]

Thnx once again:-)

[Marie]

I think "Timing" would be a good title for this story. You have some mistakes, which you can correct.

Reword these sentences until they are a little more cohesive. It's a good tory.


She picked up the empty coffee mugs, with tears in her eyes and anger in her voice she said:- "Knowing that you are not loyal to me hurts me more. I am the kind of a girl who wouldn't give a second thought on living with a girl who cheats on her. But this mystery, its killing me from within. I cannot live with it."
She turned to leave but turned back and continued:- "I cannot live with the mystery. And neither with you Ansh. You don't want a baby, you won't have one. But this baby is also mine, and so is the decision". She left finally.

[Penny]

Thnx a lot marie. And hearing it from such an experienced has pepped me even more. I aldo like the title. Although it isn't clear whether you liked the part you quoted or you disliked it. Plz... specify.

[Marie]

I mean you can do a better job with this wording. It doesn't have to be as long; it can be less obscure.

[Penny]

Tenkew marie for pointing it out, i'll change it soon