POEM #2 (5TH PROMPT) I DON’T KNOW YOU…. YOU DON’T KNOW ME

It's strange to have that little flaw in your family...

I DON’T KNOW YOU

YOU DON’T KNOW ME

YOURE A STRANGE PART OF ME

SEPARATE FROM BLOOD BUT OF THE SAME PASSION

 

A HUGE GAP, OH HOW STRANGE

NOT EVEN ALIKE

YOU DON’T KNOW ME,

 

IF WE WERE TO MEET

WILL YOU BE MAD

I KNOW YOURE MAD

WHY AM I NOT?

SEPARATE FROM BLOOD, BUT OF THE SAME PASSION

I DON’T KNOW YOU

YOU DON’T KNOW ME

ALL I KNOW IS, YOURE A STRANGE PART OF ME.

Reviews

[Leona Cieri]

Well, I'm a bit lost for words. On one hand I liked it, the other hand I was a little confused. Not as in that I don't understand, but rather that it didn't seem to go anywhere or stayed rather consistent. I feel this could be a really good piece if it took you somewhere, for example the person "speaking" relates to events that happened that would make them say, "I don't know you, You don't know me."
However, it seems you're talking about family, I take it? Then perhaps make that a little clearer in it; I'm not saying to add it in directly, but it almost seems like it's talking about two people in love, or a one-sided love. I do like the overall concept and feel of the poem, but a little polishing up, and you're good to go. Nevertheless, nice job! ^^

[L.L. Lily]

thank you for your kind words :) It does sound consistent, I wrote it long ago in my L.A. class for our poetry project, i just decided to post it up and was planning to polish it, so it really helped for someone to have reviewed it right away :)

[Leona Cieri]

You're welcome ^^ And I see; well then, I'm glad I commented!