Forgiveness

Hey. Hey! No, over here. Please look at me. Please see me. Please accept me. I can help you! Don’t walk away! Please… not again… not again… This always happens. They always crave my presence and they ignore their heart’s desires, telling them that I should be there, that they need me. The more people just go about and do whatever they want, the more they abandon me and it breaks my heart. No longer being loved the way I once was… but I hold no grudge. That is against who I am.

Nothing is perfect, but I can solve most of the problems if they would just… just listen to me. However,  the longer time goes, the less they pay attention to me and the more and more they laugh at me. Some have been turned in a moment of sadness to embrace me and have been laughed at for it, but I am incredibly grateful to them.

Children’s shows no longer teach the small, adorable bundles of wonder my value or teach them why I am so important to human life. Their parents give into frustration and just allow them to be angry after fights and they grow apart. Friends, siblings… without me, though I do not mean to sound prideful, there are no relationships. All humans mess up and make mistakes, yet they banish me from their hearts and I can do nothing to help them. I am not given to the ones that crave me and the ones that do not desire me need me so badly.

Revenge. He has taken over and is winning. He and Anger often work together, winning the humans over by soothing their aching prides and telling them the choices they made were right as they limit the humans to what they could already do on their own.

With my help, they could see just as Mercy does. All of the wonderful, beautiful ways that Mercy sees, they could as well if they allowed me. With my help, they could avoid so many sleepless and tearful nights. With my help, they could reach those that otherwise could never be reached, love those they otherwise could not love. Every second, millions of hearts sneer at my plea to let me help them and shut their doors to me, letting Anger and Hatred poison the wounds in them.

So many people say they do not want me, but they keep me just to keep me away from those who need me so much. When Anger has gotten to them, sometimes they can barely utter my name. I am strong and endless. Since wrong has existed, so have I. Anger imprisons people and Bitterness is often their guard, but with just my name I can free them, release the squeezing of their hearts. They would be able to breathe again if they would just let me. If they would just let me.

They refuse my help despite the tears in my eyes and how they know that they need me. Often they forget me, thinking that all the pain that is truly tearing them up inside can be alleviated by letting Anger decide what they do. Their counselors and lawmakers even deny me, saying I am of less value than the grunt worker of Anger and Hatred, the one we know well as Grudge. He and I have met several times and his loss becomes imminent only when the human in question is one whose life is partially made with a foundation I am part of or when the battle is simply him and I alone.

Putting all four of the allies together, Anger, Hatred, Bitterness and Grudge, I am still far stronger than them but the people I try to help choose them over me. They choose to do what is easier, what soothes their swollen and hurting pride, rather than what keeps it from controlling them, saves them from more misery and keeps them from losing or weakening relationships that would be so much harder for them to live without. Simply because they will not listen to me.

So many hearts need not be shattered, so many children’s tender hearts need not be crushed and so early callused if they believed in me.

During my existence, I have even heard that some do not believe I exist, but I am real; I am here… there is proof. Ask those once thought to be unloveable. Those said no one could reach. They will tell everyone.

Because I am Forgiveness