I am Monster

BPD is a personality disorder which is akin to, but not as severe as, schizophrenia. This poem is about living with that on a daily basis

I am Monster:
rough hewn spent and jaded
a loaded revolver 
the dark harbour 
an improper conduct sponsor
the acerbated and saturated
sympathy and empathy terminated
smarter, harder and sharper
sense of honour departed
a cloned armoured martyr
an existence where love has faded
or simply overused and left degraded.

I am Monster:
shaped by unfortunate events
a life of sharpened steel
etched with the scent of malcontent
chaotic defiance and suicidal descent 
the rise of the paragon of zeal
masked in the stench of the surreal
lurking in shadows dark
that leaves its presence felt
like a silent tsunami watermark.

That voice in my head
speaking in tongues 
his tasteless insipid breath
fills my lungs
the only respite
is prescribed medication
and meditation dictates;
navigate the monster
and his origin appellation
will have to wait.

The sorrow I borrow
and the chaos I bring
like liquid will eventually
rescind like the pulse of a wasp sting
the poison will dissipate 
and then evaporate
in the predisposed
wrath of tomorrow.

Author's Note

All thoughts welcome

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I took a read at BPD --- first...then read this...
so I have a feel of what the disorder does in a person suffering from it...
seems quite evident in the lines of this narrative...
gets it all out in the open...
like the construction of this and the hook:

I am Monster:

relates the reader with the intensity of the battle....
between what goes on in the mind of such a person...

[Alfred Kukitz]

Shockingly devastating in awed silence.