Meter Made

 

 

 

(this one I wrote during one of my darkest hours of chemotherapy.)

Meter Made
By: Lori Pearson
February 27, 2008


No coins to be found
Not in the glove box
None…
On the ground.
Running short
On time- where's mine?
Just knowing
I'll expire
and…
Wondering when.
Keeping both eyes
On the meter
Because my heart's
Been fading faster
As the poison churns
Disaster
and…
If I close them
Will I sleep forever?

('cause death's been toying with me again.)


© 2008 Lorraine Pearson

Reviews

[Gary H]

Makes you realise that as the meter keeps ticking so life ebbs away. The thought of having to put more money in to keep going is a very interesting notion. In some respects money makes the world go round and this sometimes has a big impact on who reaches the end of the meter first - I'm talking here about world wide issues.
This comes across as a vivid write of your dark hours and is very harrowing.

[Barbara Walker]

I can't comment more than this, your words touch me so deeply, i am without words.

[Trée]

L, this is very, very good Shiott! I've seen many different metaphor used for life ebbing away to an unknown clock, but never one as creative as a meter 'made.' The depth of your pathos and the intensity of your pain are as braille to my eyes, the pacing starting and stopping as if an engine sputtering to catch, wanting to fire, to live but finding each pull of the cord, each turn of the crank more faded than the effort before. You render good poem L. :-)

[A.J. Smith]

I think this is an amazingly powerful and touching piece...what a truly insightful metaphor you selected to share your deeply personal and fearful battle with breast cancer. I am so glad you are a survivor.

[Daniel Rodrigues Martin]

"As the poison churns
Disaster"

Ahh, good line there. Probably my favorite.

I think it's interesting to see that you compared your outlook on your own life's waning to the slow ticking away of a parking meter.

So I suppose this poses the question: what does the coin represent?

I like the slant rhyme of the last line. Somehow it fits back in with the middle of the piece; reading it fast, I felt like it kind of made the rhyme scheme of the whole thing 'equal,' but I couldn't quite put my finger on how exactly that happened. It caused me to go back and take a second and third look at the poem, so it at least functions as an effective form of advertisement :)

Pretty all-right read, I'd say.

[Rain]

Time running out..double park. :) I know all too well the poison of which you write, and the thoughts that cross your mind.I loved the way you let your feelings flow in this piece. Here's to life. Rain..

[andrea]

I'm really glad i read this one. It made me stop and think about life in genral. We all have those dark moments of our lives, just some people's are alot worse than others. But your right we have to keep finding the coin to put in the slot to keep us going, to carry on. The one thing we'll never know is when there going to run out. This piece has certainly touched me.

[AK]

I was just looking at parking meters on eBay oddly enough. I recently read an article about a guy who fulfilled his mother's last wish by installing a parking meter at her grave. He bought the meter on eBay and had it spruced up a bit for her.
As I read through your piece I could feel what could only be a small portion of the trepidation folks enduring chemo must know. I assumed this was an old piece and I was relieved that you had won the battle. And then I looked at the date this was written...
I have to tell you Lorraine that I know this can be beaten. I won't pretend to understand what it must be like for you. But I do know what I've seen and what has been proven to me. This is probably not the place to go into specifics and if you're not interested in talking about it, that's fine. But if you are...

Powerful piece by the way. Very powerful.

[The Musings of Mary H.]

Wow, this a great write! My mom is going through her second round of chemo and radiation soon for three types of cancer. I will have to show this to her!

blessings

[Forest Green]

Directly to the point, straight as an arrow. Holding my attention by the design of the lines and the tightness of the lyrics.

Wonderful poem. Good analogy with the meter running.

Forest