Restless

 

 

I am restless

how could I not be?

 

Inside I am full of life

I am

an ocean

swelling to quench your thirst

moving to breathe in your breath of life

 

I am restless

how could I not be?

when I am built to hold you

deep inside of me

 

I am restless

how could I not be?

when I ache to complete

what passion has put inside me

 

it begins with a touch

it begins with a kiss

I want

I need

to feel love

I am restless.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Your words speak of undeniable desire and deep love... very intense and passionate work.

[Anima Inspired]

I like the way that you bring alive the sense of "restlessness". There is a juxtaposition of the sense of a heart being "restless" and a heart being in love, and when you bring the two concepts together it's quite magical.

I do find a little bit of a difficult flow in the 3rd and 4th stanzas...mostly has to do with formatting:

I am restless
how could I not be?
when I am built to hold you
deep inside of me

--You start with two lines that are a "question", and you put the question mark...so you would need to start the third line with a capital and then end the fourth line with something like an "elipsis", because it's a fragment...or you could take out the question mark and put a comma there and put the question mark at the end of the fourth line...

Anyway, I struggle sometimes with formatting too, but I do like the way that this poem reads other than those things...it's got a simple feel, yet it's pretty complex in nature.

[Evil_Angel]

Reminds me so much of Neruda, haha your poems always remind me of stuff. It remiinds me of that one I do not love you as...I lvoe myself ugh i forget the rest. But it has the same type of verses, and is so pleasant and romantic to read. You are very talented!

[bluessadmood]

this is so lovely and why i think its very vivid images and exotic,for yes i am restless,for i am a woman,i am everything ,your love your mother ,your everything ,i am as wide as the ocean,so i can relieve that thirst always there,and i am restless, i am huge to take you all inside me,how can i not be but so restless,and i do ache a lot for you to complete the strong emotions and passion put inside me so i ache to full fill that growing and wild passion...listen i am everything i complete ,i kiss with my heart,,i have a great desire and enormous love ,so just tell me how cal ever be but not restless for i am a woman,yet you do not know ,but i know,i know...

[Spoken]

a hopeless romantic will be restless until the day she/he has their fairy tale... and if you believe in it deeply and seek it out.. if you are willing to go to extreme lengths for it.. you shall have it. You've touched perfectly on this and I connect so well to the feeling conveyed because I know it as if it were my own. Wonderful write.

when I am built to hold you
deep inside of me

nice!