Places (Dare)

You placed

Something small and rare

Inside my chest

And now

I can’t sleep without

Breathe without

Be without it forming

Clouds in my eyes

You placed

Something raw

Something rare

In places

No one before dared…

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

yes you placed love that wonderful thing in my chest so i can not sleep ,not even think,or breathe ,forms clouds in my eyes ,what have you done to me ,you turned my life so wild ,no peace there only restless,i am agitated never known such state of mind and heart all because you put that thing there where i never ever let anyone come near but you so bold came near and put a wild flame of love inside now i will never find my peace again ,but though i feel so happy that you did ,my love,nice very nice,so full of love ,i just loved it...

[Spoken]

this is so delicate and warm. the heart is thin like paper and made of glass.... so fragile and easily broken. I can relate to the lack of sleep... after sleeping next to someone for so long when he's not there I'm restless... lovely

[Pink Poison]

Ooooh....this makes me jealous that I didn't write it too! Very beautifully written. You have exposed the essential component of love without using that word at all. I like the way that you did these lines:

I can't sleep without
Breathe without
Be without it forming
Clouds in my eyes

It works very nicely to skip the aricle at the end of the line...makes it all the more compact and consice without needless repitition. Great poem!

[CLUTZ]

I like it. very nice.