Night

 

I am part of the night

I am part of the dark

the words of my mouth

made real in the wind

I am pulled from the ground

from the fire of fire

that hardened into my core

I am a part of the night

and stand apart from all you have known.

Reviews

[Spoken]

the ended makes this scene tempting to enter so we can see what mystery the darkness holds...

the words of my mouth
made real in the wind

fav lines. NICE! Well written

[Loribeth215]

Thanks so much!

[Rebecca]

Oooo... I like this poem. Not sad and not tragic, but with an underlying note of seperation and distance from the rest. Not overdone either, as it can easily be to some. =)

[Pink Poison]

I really like this. It has a nice night time feel to it, not just because you're talking about the night, but because the words you've chosen evoke that kind of feeling. This part is particularly striking:

I am pulled from the ground
from the fire of fire
that hardened into my core
I am a part of the night
and stand apart from all you have known.

Great poem, I look forward to reading more.

[Adrian K. Smith]

There is a certain ethereal feel to this piece, as mentioned elsewhere - it appears there is a riddle for us to answer. It has been a long day though, and I fear my mind is not up to the task. Still, this is what I would call "mind candy" - those pieces that make you think and feed the brain. I will look at this again, seeing if I can see what I think I see there.

[Mistral Bilgera]

hey loribeth,

this poem is brief, but has the beautiful air of mysticism around it, perhaps because of the "night" metaphor you used.
it also has the feel that i am reading a riddle, which is good, keeps me guessing what you are describing in the poem. Good work.

:)

[Evil_Angel]

Nice and mysterious, it left me wanting more i really enjoyed it :)

[dread or dismay.]

Very good.
It was short; but generally good.
: )

[CLUTZ]

nice... i like it.