Lobotomy in it's Capsulated Form

Just a peice of free verse poetry I wrote to myself last night. I wasn't sleeping well. You guys may not be able to pin point "exactly" what it's about, but I'll leave it up to your own imaginings...

I am afflicted.
I have the disease that makes my heart ache and my throat swell with words that won’t pass my lips.
That’s what the professionals say at least.
I always have questions about this illness for it’s unclear to me how I could have caught such a thing in the first place.
Where did it come from?
Where did it begin?
Did I walk among the infected for too long or was I simply cursed from the cradle?
I suppose such questions are pointless now, it’s too late to take protective measures and a vaccine does no good to she who is already sickened.
Treatment is my only option.
The doctors urge and push me to try it, just once though all of the claims that it will improve the otherwise wasted years and make me whole and healthy are beginning to hurt my ears.
What they claim to be medicinal is little more than a lobotomy in its capsulated form comprised of nothing but chemicals and compounds with names I don’t know how to pronounce that take away your ability to dream and imagine while leaving your capability to function intact.
I don’t want it and they can’t force it upon me so long as I keep myself clear of straight jackets and padded walls.
To become just another part of the fickle minded human society, motivated by little more than the mere desire for wealth, power and sex is to loose what makes me myself. I’d rather stay here in the dark forever.
I won’t take a remedy that steals my dreams and makes me numb.
I won’t swallow the poison that kills my muse.
I won’t dare to taste such a concoction that dulls the senses enough to let the professionals dissect the whole healthy soul justified by the meager reasoning to sell it for parts.
… I’d sooner lose my life or lose my mind than lose myself.

Author's Note

I don't really care if you guys give me crap, just be nice to each other, okay?