Waiting

My Darling

I felt you today when I closed my eyes

The warmth of the sun on my face

The breeze playing with my hair

When I opened my eyes I could see your smile

Free, flying, floating in the light

Wings of a butterfly sweeping it across my mouth

Your voice I could almost hear in the brook

Such a wonderful rush of serenity

Water flowing over rock was your words soothing my soul

I almost felt like you were with me

 

My Love

I miss you tonight as I wait for you

The coldness removes hope for you

There is a stillness that suffocates me

Such gloominess surrounds me as I look for you

My heart is too heavy without your smile

The butterfly’s wings have been broken

My ears are now filled with silence

Breaking into my soul like shattered glass

They are all the questions of why you are not here

Please come to me soon

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

Oh this is beautiful. She experiences him in the day hours when she is outsiden but in the evening hours when she's inside she notices his absence. Isn't that always so. Sometimes its hard to see positive and the hopefulness in the evening hours. Lovely.

[~Israel~]

This is quite good. i dont believe how well you captured that feeling of longing and lonelyness...know how it feels...

[Deviant Works]

I really, really wish I would have wrote this, that is how beautiful I find this poem. "My Darling". "My Love". Just these simple words are filled with such longing, such affection. To feel them in a passing breeze, their face, their smile and then missing them, the sound of their voice, the presence of their closeness. Oh this is such a wonderful poem. I pray each of your questions are answered soon, if only in finding peace.

[jazmin]

wow, that was.......heavy. but true so true amazing

[Bare trees]

You have a really nice style to your writing and I'm glad you asked me to read your work. I like this poem a lot. Although everyone has there own interpretations, I sense that the speakers love has died and she can't accept his passing. Wonderful poem with a lasting impression. I'm giving it 100.

[Abandoned_Night_Dreamer]

Immediately when I read the first stanza it reminded my of one of my own works that I wrote for my boyfriend because it's so similar. Though I only talked about how I saw him in everything, you turn it into a gloomy one in the second stanza which completely offsets the mood of the first one and confuses the reader of what emotion they should feel while reading this.

[Jeffrey Gershom]

Lorame,
Do you believe in sychronicity? I was struck by the poignancy of your poem...it struck a chord. I was just starting a poem, no longer than a few hours ago, that was beginning like the second line of yours. Sychronicity....
I related to your poem, and it moved me. Of course, that's what poetry is supposed to do.
Very good job!
Jeffrey

[livinglifeloud]

I like your metaphors. you are a very talented poet. good job=)

[Im His Daughter]

The coldness removes (a) or (my) hope for you is about the only thing i would consider.. But ohh this was so sad & so lonely. Great job...

[Machiavelli]

This is great you have a very special talent you rock keep it up ;)