The Concept of Luck

Sometimes I suspect I may be cursed with misfortune. Does luck really exist?

In my mind I gamble. I put everything out that I can, and attempt to win over more than is logically possible. Luck and chance mean only that I will either lose or win, and despite my efforts, I am never comfortable with that. Instead, I bargain with God and the Universe. I beg for good to happen, and only good. Yet all that seems to befall me is misfortune. I’m once again lost in my own mind, begging, pleading for an opportunity to feel once again like fortune is on my side.

In my mind I gamble for things that are so out of reach, I later cannot fathom how I could possibly have thought that the desired outcome would actually occur. Celebrities, fame, winning a contest…Nothing seems to go the way I plan it to. I can daydream all I want. I can put the dice on the table, spin the wheel, hit the Universe’s slots, and still everything will fall through. I will lose all I put out there, my hopes slipping gradually away like money on a table.

In my mind, I gamble for health, happiness, and love. I beg and plead for everything to go right for once. I beg like a poor man who has lost his way. The hat I put out for coins, the music I play, all of it is lost in a crowd of passersby. The commotion of the world just seems too harsh, too unaware of the struggles of others. Is God the same? We are taught that God loves unconditionally, and yet…I still bargain. I still gamble with a concept that is so out of reach. Luck is never on my side. Luck is the darkness that lies in wait, and only chooses so few. Luck is a concept so difficult to grasp. It’s thin as air, and thick as belief.  

Then I’m hit by realization. It’s a jolt of electricity from a storm, a light shed into rainy gloom. There is no such thing as luck, and I’m at a table in the dark. The slots are empty and no one is there. Luck is perception, only able to be viewed by those who believe in it. I ask if I’m being punished, gamble and bargain, but nothing will respond. Nothing is there, but the mind.

Author's Note

Speak your mind (kindly).