My mother

Here I am

I look at your face, your smile, you look so happy 

Did you ever regret not loving me

You left me

You gave me to your demons

You stripped me of my innocence

I loved you

Why didn't you love me

I look at your picture and wonder why I meant nothing to you

We are the same person

Lost and broken without love

My heart bleeds

I feel the vessels pumping, gasping for air

I'm suffocating

I cant breathe anymore

Why???

Why couldn't you love me

You chose the person who violated me

Broke me

I was a child

I held you as you turned cold and fell asleep

I couldn't wake you

I laid my coat over your body to keep you warm

I'm sorry I wasn't enough

My heart aches and my soul burns

I know no love

I try to pretend to function in a world of people that live

But I don't live I survive

I walk through days of emptiness and try to emulate what I see and pretend that I'm alive

Do you see me

Do you feel me

I feel your hand reach through me 

I'm hallow and empty

There's no light only darkness

My eyes are dark, my soul lifeless

Do you see me

Do you feel me

My tears pour down my face

I want to feel love and life again

When can I stop pretending

Author's Note

There was no topic for my emotions for the night. It feels really good to let this out! I'm not looking for critiques. I think people feel so alone in their thoughts so I wanted to put out there that you're not alone!!!