In the Beginning...

A Chapter by Jeff

A rainy Monday morning started off the second full week of school. Even though I hated school, I still managed to arrive about an hour before classes started. I was sitting in a classroom with my best friend Austin and a few of our friends, talking about the weekend and catching up on homework. The teacher looked up from a stack of papers at his white board which was still blank.

“No doodles or words of wisdom for us today Brandon? I cleaned it special just for you!”

I am a sucker for white board doodling or jotting down something funny or any other random nonsense that pops into my head when confronted with an inviting expanse of blank space. The rain must have clouded my creativity because I had nothing this morning. My mind was as blank as the board that was waiting for me. I was momentarily distracted by the wet-boot squeak-squeak of someone walking down the hallway. It wasn't a cadence that I recognized, so I dismissed it and returned to the board. In that instant, however, the approaching squeaking boots caused a spark of inspiration and suddenly my hand was holding a marker and was busily scribbling away a poem that had sprung from the steady rhythm becoming louder as the boot-wearer came ever-closer.

You will never know
How much I love to see your smiling face
You will never know
How I long to hear your musical laugh
You will never know
How I yearn to feel the touch of your skin
You will never know
How I wish to taste your kiss
You will never know
How my heart jumps when I smell your sweet perfume

It breaks my heart to know
How much you'll never know
But not as much as
it breaks my heart to know
That you don't exist
Only in my dreams
My angel in the mist

I finished the impromptu poem as the boot-wearer entered the room. The teacher and the handful of students watching me were very complimentary. The teacher suggested I show the poem to the English teacher for possible publication in either the school’s newspaper or the quarterly collection of poems and short stories. I bashfully turned away from the group which, to my horror, was growing rapidly. I returned to my seat to try to hide when the squeaking started again, reminding me about their arrival in the room. I scanned the room and found the boot-wearer; it was a girl who was more bundled against the cold than anyone else in the room: The hood of her winter jacket was up, she was wearing a funky knit scarf, gloves, boots and a thick sweater under the jacket. Conversely, I was less bundled than everyone else, wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans and, embarrassment aside, I was starting to get too warm for comfort.

I continued to watch her from the other side of the room as she began to shed layers. I noted her pale skin, her long, brown hair that curled lightly at the ends. She had a very subdued, natural beauty but I got the impression that she was either unaware of it or chose not to flaunt it. Either way, whatever opinion she may have had about herself was absolutely refreshing compared to most of the other girls in school. My attention was momentarily hijacked when Austin and a friend of his began bickering over an answer to one of the questions on the Chemistry take-home quiz until I heard her speak.

"Oh, I would have picked that up. Thank you."

Her voice was quiet, honey smooth, unbelievably warm and musical. I subconsciously leaned back to get closer to her voice until I had to catch the table to stop myself from falling off of the stool I was perched upon.

"Who is that?" I asked Austin, trying and failing miserably to sound nonchalant.

Ever-oblivious and without looking, he answered with a question of his own, "Who?"

I just stared at him. I had known Austin for five years and his mental density never ceased to amaze me. Austin knew that I knew everyone else in the room; having spent most of the summer with them and/or their significant others. Who else could I have been talking about? I slapped him in the back of the head and meandered over to the new girl, my heart pounding rapidly, threatening to crash through my chest.

She didn't hear me approach, which isn't that unusual as I walk like a cat, but her nose was buried in a well-worn copy of a collection of Shakespeare’s works. I was trying to think of something witty to say when she noticed my presence and looked up at me, smiling politely. To say that in that moment, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen would not only be cheesy but true. Also, in my hopelessly romantic imagination, it was one of the biggest understatements of all time.

If you know what to look for, you can tell a lot about a person when you look into their eyes. Her emerald green eyes were mesmerizing and pulled me in, I was lost in the beauty of her soul and had, apparently, stopped breathing.

Her polite smile, faltered and a look of curious concern danced across her features, "Are you okay?"

Not only had I forgotten how to breathe, but I couldn't figure out how speech worked either; something in the back of my head was desperately trying in vain to explain that the two were somehow linked and if I didn’t start doing the former I could kiss the latter goodbye. Dense as Austin was, he could be incredibly perceptive at times and had thankfully come to my rescue in his trademark style of seemingly appearing out of thin air.

"Hey Lauren, this is my friend Brandon that I was telling you about yesterday."

Lauren's expression was reflective and then her features turned back into a wide smile, "It's nice to meet you Brandon." She extended her hand to shake.

I was so still that I made the statue of William Penn that was visible from the classroom window look like he was dancing a jig. Austin elbowed me in the ribs, waking me from my stupor. I took her hand in mine and the feeling was electric. I don't know what came over me in that moment, but instead of simply shaking her hand like any normal person would I raised her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. Lauren's pale cheeks flushed crimson and she laughed a musical little laugh. I felt like I was being set on fire while falling into a freezing bath and being pulled into a thousand pieces all at once. I had never felt so alive! It was the singularly most wonderful experience I had ever felt. I decided that authors, songwriters and movie-makers had no idea what it was like to experience love for the first time.

"It's very nice to meet you as well, Lauren." I liked the way her name rolled off of my tongue. I smiled warmly at her. I started to wonder what she was thinking, worrying if she had a boyfriend, wondering if I could ever hope to have a ghost of a chance to be with an angel like her, and also questioning where had she been all my life and what she was doing for the rest of it.

I just want you to know that I am hopelessly in love with you...

The first bell of the day rang and I awkwardly excused myself and left for my first class. She smiled a goodbye and waved, her cheeks still flushed as she returned her book to her overloaded back pack. I thought I could feel her eyes on me as I exited, but knew that if I stopped to look and met her gaze, I'd never leave, but at the same time if I didn’t I’d never return. I walked on clouds the whole way to first period English.

…

That is, of course, until I realized that I had forgotten my book bag. I rushed back to the original classroom trying to look as cool as humanly possible. Lauren saw me return and pointed at the board, “That’s really beautiful. Is that an original?”

I reread what my hand had written for me earlier, “Actually yes, but I just noticed a huge mistake. Please excuse me.”

I walked straight to the board and erased the last stanza and rushed out of the room before the blood rushing to my head caused an aneurism or spontaneous combustion.

I grabbed my seat next to Austin just as the late bell rang. He was putting his cell phone back into his bag with a huge smile on his face.

“Smooth.”

“Shut up.”

English and then Chemistry flew by in a way that no class ever had before. I was in a much better mood than I had been in recent memory and it was all due to the angel, Lauren, I had met this morning. Third period Problems of Democracy found me still off in space. The teacher, Mr. Rayer, caught me daydreaming.

"Brandon!"

I snapped to attention, flinging my pencil behind me in my sudden shock, "Yes, sir?"

"Would you mind joining us? You need to know this stuff for the exam, alright?"

The room erupted into laughter while I tried, unsuccessfully, to turn myself invisible. Failing that I settled for not dying of embarrassment. I was able to half-concentrate for the rest of the class (albeit, without a pencil) and when the bell finally rang, I took my time heading to the cafeteria. I didn't bring lunch today, but it was just as well as I wasn't hungry. My stomach was full of butterflies whenever I thought about Lauren.

I was the first to my group's table. We were the band geeks and there were ten of us that had fourth-period lunch prior to fifth-period music. I was so deep in my reverie that I didn't notice when my friends had sat down next to me.

"What's with Brandon?" Kyle asked Austin.

"Brandon, what's with you?" Kyle's younger brother Khaleef asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Michele, mother hen of the group, asked rhetorically as she handed me the cheeseburger she bought for me, somehow knowing I hadn't brought lunch again. "He's in serious like!"

The twins, Jessica and Katie, shared an excited glance and then stared at me expectantly. I was suddenly very involved with my cheeseburger. Bryan, Michele's younger brother arrived just then, giving me a knowing look. It amazes me how he seems to know everything about all of the goings-on in school with the singular exception of actual academics.

Thomas and Ashley asked in unison, "So, who is she?"

Austin, my best friend, answered for me in between bites of an interesting-looking sandwich he made, one of the many benefits he had of working in a deli. "The new girl, Lauren."

Hearing her name gave me butterflies again. Then something Austin had said earlier finally sunk in, "What do you mean, 'my friend I was telling you about yesterday'?"

Austin laughed, "I was wondering when you were finally going to catch that! You’re starting to get slow in your old age man. Remember we were playing football when you launched the ball twenty yards past me and I was talking to that girl for a few minutes while getting it?"

"That was her?"

"You couldn't tell?"

"I was sixty yards away!"

"How is that my fault?"

"How come you answer all of my questions with questions?"

"Why does it bother you?"

As the rest of our group exploded into laughter at out bickering, I suppressed the urge to hit him again, but only because the vice principal had chosen that exact moment to pass by.

"How come I've never seen her before?"

"She just moved back here with her mom. Her parents split up a couple years ago and she went to live with her dad in Houston, or something like that. She came back when he got remarried."

Well that explained why she was so bundled up this morning, the weather in southern Texas was much warmer than southeastern Pennsylvania. I leaned back, trying to remember yesterday. I was interrupted by Ashley who was not bothering to hide her resentment. "Wait, Lauren? Lauren Miller?" Austin nodded, dropping bits of pickle and several kinds of lunchmeat from his sodden hoagie roll. "She's in my physics class. What do you see in her anyway? She's so… plain!"

Ashley and I had dated for a few months last year and even though we were still 'friends', she was having trouble moving on. For the life of me, I could not understand why. To be completely honest I have no idea what she ever saw in me in the first place. I'm overweight (but not out-of-shape), fairly cynical, only slightly above-average intelligence and pretty plain myself. Six feet, brown hair, blue eyes... I'm not sure I could pick myself out of a line-up, if for some deranged reason I ever had to. Wow, I think up the craziest stuff... Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is: I don't get it.

"Ashley," I said, using her full name (a habit I could never get out of), "for someone who knows me as well as you claim to, you don't know me at all."

Needless to say, that only incensed her more. Thankfully, however, she kept all further comments she had to herself.

The rest of the lunch period dragged on endlessly as I was the main topic of conversation among my friends. The bell rang, mercifully allowing me to escape (at least for the moment) from the group. Racing through the halls, I actually paid attention to where I was going to keep my mind from wandering where I wanted it to go. Until today, I had never realized how many girls in school had curly, light-brown hair. It was thrilling, terrifying and depressing all at once.

I took my regular seat in the music room (back row, right-most seat) and began doodling in a notebook as I waited for class to begin. Austin appeared in his regular seat to my immediate left and I wondered for the millionth time if the boy actually ever moved or just teleported everywhere.

"What's up Brandon Boy Blue? You took off like a bat out of hell!"

I didn't say anything. Austin was, once again, being entirely too dense for his own physical well-being. I looked at him, jaw clenched. Realization dawned on him after several very long seconds, "Oh..."

"Yeah..."

"She's way out of your league, you know. Way smart and super classy."

The point of my pencil broke off and the body of it snapped in half; apparently today was not a good day to be my pencil. "Do you honestly think I didn't notice that?"

"How come you answer all of my questions with questions?" Austin mocked.

I stared at him. "I hope that you were looking forward to a painful death when you woke up this morning because I just thought of twelve obscenely horrible ways to kill you slowly. I asked your mom and she said that she’d happily pay me to do it."

“I know, she told me. I had no idea I was worth that much to her, I’m actually quite flattered.”

“I’d do it for free.”

“You would Robin Hood. Of course you know that you’d never find another schlep to annoy you as much as I do though.”

“You’re probably right; it’d be too much of a pain to train a new schlep anyway. You win this round, good sir.” I tossed him a piece of gum, “To the victor, the spoils.”

After music class, Austin and I had last period study hall, more commonly known as study release where with a parent's permission a student could leave school early to "go home and study". Yeah, we thought that was funny too. The sun had beaten back the clouds and it was starting to turn out to be a pretty nice afternoon. On our way to the student parking lot, I saw Lauren walking home too. I handed Austin my keys.

"Dent it and die."

He called after me, reminding me that she was out of my league, but I paid no attention. I needed to be near her again.

I caught up to her, "Hello again." I smiled.

"Hello again." She smiled back. I had to really concentrate to keep my legs from turning to jelly.

I went for broke, "Would your boyfriend mind if I walked with you?"

Lauren blushed, "I don't think so, seeing as I don't have one; but I wouldn't mind if you did."

I was elated. We began walking in silence. I wanted to make small talk, but every time my eyes met hers, it took my breath away.

"I like your scarf." I finally was able to stammer through.

"Thank you. I made it myself." There was no air of pride, just simple satisfaction. Her personality was absolutely refreshing.

“I really liked your poem.”

“What poem? Oh! Right, yes… um, thank you.” My embarrassment was once again messing with my ability to converse intelligently. Just then, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller id; it wasn’t Austin or either of my parents, so I let the call go to voicemail. Thirty seconds later, my phone rang again. I let the call go to voicemail again and set the ringer to vibrate. “Sorry about that.”

“Austin?”

I smiled, “Thankfully no, but I’m sure he’ll start any second.”

“Parents?”

“Nah, they prefer to text.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“I didn’t know you knew my number yet!” We both laughed nervously at that.

“Maybe someone wants to give you money! You’re phone has been vibrating like crazy, don’t ignore on my account.”

“Meh, if someone wants to give me money” I pulled out my phone and eyed it venomously; “they can bloody well leave a message.”

“Do you normally yell at inanimate objects like that?”

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, ignoring the infernal buzzing, and said “Only when they give me guff.”

Thankfully Lauren changed the subject, "You know, usually when a boy asks a girl to walk her home, he has a little more to say then just, 'I like your scarf'." she laughed.

I smiled, "A lot of boys walked you home before then?"

Lauren blushed, "Well, no... You're actually the first. But I watch movies and read books..."

We both laughed at that. Lauren finally stopped and faced me, "Well this is me..."

I hadn't realized that we had walked that far already. Not quite ready to leave her yet, I struggled for something to say, "Can I tell you something?" I silently panicked because my brain-to-mouth filter had suddenly turned itself off and now I no longer had any idea what I was about to say.

Lauren looked at me and smiled warmly, "Please do."

"I really like you." I was horrified, surely any second now she was going to slap me, never wanting to speak to me again. The slap never came. Hoping she was just as stunned by my sudden outburst as I was, I tried to redirect struggling in vain to reconnect my brain to my mouth, "What I meant to say is I think you're beautiful." D****t! "I mean I know we’ve only just met and for all you know I could be a psycho..." What are you doing?!?!? Shut up!!! "It's just that when I imagine my perfect girl, she's you. It was like, no sooner had I written on the board that you didn’t exist, there you were." CRAP! "I mean..." Sigh... "I'll just go now. I'm sorry if I freaked you out, I won't bother you anymore."

Dejected, I turned to leave to drown my idiocy in painfully loud screamo and Hank's root beer. I was also going to wash my stupid mouth out with soap for such heinous behavior.

"Brandon?"

I stopped, but couldn't turn to face her.

"I'm not sure how this is supposed to work..."

I didn't think that it was possible, but my shoulders sagged even lower, "Well typically, I mope away never to bother you again and you go on living your life as normal without ever having to worry about some nut-job like me following you around like a lost puppy."

"That's not what I meant..." she hesitated, “I mean the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I don't know how it’s supposed to work.”

I finally met her gaze. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I like you too," Lauren blushed as she continued; "I don't want you to leave me alone."

I took her right hand in my left, her cool hand felt like a live wire on my fiery skin sending currents racing through my body. It seemed that our contact was having a similar effect on her. I pushed a lock of hair behind her left ear with my right hand. "I guess we can find out together."

We both smiled as we looked into each other's eyes. Just then, Lauren's mother pulled into the drive-way. Lauren turned to face her mother, but didn't let go of my hand. It was plain to see where Lauren got her looks from; her mother looked like a slightly-older version with shorter hair. I decided that Lauren’s dad was an idiot.

"Hi Mom," Lauren called, "How was work?"

Lauren's mother smiled at her daughter and then noticed how closely I was standing to her and then that she and I were holding hands. Her smile dropped. "I'm sorry, Ms. -" it occurred to me that I had forgotten what her last name was.

For the second time today, Austin came to my rescue, "Hey Lauren! Ms. Miller!" emphasizing her last name for my benefit, "I see you've met my good friend Brandon!"

Lauren was just as surprised as I was at his sudden appearance. "Where did he come from?" she whispered in my ear.

It took everything I had to remain upright and coherent; Lauren was so close I could feel her breath on my ear, turning my spine to jelly. "I have no idea. He does that all the time, popping up out of nowhere." I whispered back.

It was immediately obvious that Ms. Miller preferred Austin to me. Was it because he was less intimidating? I am three inches taller and almost twice as broad as Austin. However, it could just be that I was the one holding her daughter's hand, not to mention that I was a complete stranger. "Lauren, why don't you get inside and do your homework. Don't forget we're going to church tonight right after dinner." It seemed that she put added emphasis on the word 'church'.

"Okay Mom," Lauren turned to me, smiling a bright smile, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

I raised her hand and brushed my cheek (immediately thankful that I had shaved this morning) with it before kissing it again, finally stroking her cheek with my hand. I noticed that she instinctively leaned into the contact, "I can't wait."

next chapter

© 2010 Jeff

Author's Note

I have been working and tinkering and, for now, I am almost happy with this. Please comment!! If you don't like something, please tell me!! If something is missing, please tell me!! If you hate it, please tell me!!!