Swing Set

It's a story that is based on an old friend's sister who managed to stay strong until the end. I'm new at this so please critique it for me. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks a plenty - Shadow

Swing Set

By: Alisha Miller

 

Once there was a little girl. She had everything long ago; good friends, a happy home, and a loving, supportive family. But that was when she was young. She grew up as all children do dreaming of lazy summer days while sitting on the swing set. Letting the earth sway beneath her. Her hair flowing with the sky dancing and twirling about her. A true smile on her face. She was seven then. She was an intelligent girl. Widely accepted by both children and adults. A natural scholar in most fields of education. Curious. Imaginative. Inventive. Independent. Strong. Happy. Proud. Always thinking of others, considering all the possibilities of the future. Choices, choices, so many choices. But then there was always that park with the swing set. Letting the earth sway beneath her. Her hair flowing with the sky dancing and twirling about her. Again she shows her true smile to worlds above and below. Then a year passed and she no longer had her independence. She lost it to disease and disorder. She was different now. No one understood the she had to pay to keep going in life. After that year there were no more smiles or laughter. She was diagnosed with a serious condition…       Cancer.

She was eight when she got the news. Three years left. So much left undone and so little time to reflect. A seed of disease was consuming her mind; slowly but surely she would die. And yet she still had the swing set. Letting the earth sway beneath her. Her hair flowing with the sky dancing and twirling about her. This time there was no smile for the earth and sky to see. It was a refuge now; the swing set she lingered by day after day as time dragged on. A place to keep a sense of innocence and wonder that she held so dearly once before. Her mother wept daily, her father kept quiet and still. Her older brother, serving overseas attempting to rush to her bedside, but he would be delayed a week.

One year left. She no longer visited the swing set. There was no earth and sky to her. Not anymore. There was only the walls and ceiling of her hospital room. She slept all day and night. Unable to eat or speak properly. A few months more and she would vanish like a dying star. A great light simply being blown out by time and fate.

In her last month she began to whisper, “My swing set, my swing set.” Her mother wailed, her father and brother made preparations. “My child,” her father asked one week before her day, “where do you want to be buried?”

His daughter smiled sweetly, warmly and replied, “With Mommy and Daddy and Jack in the park by my swing set.” Her father wept then grief consuming him and his family as her day inched closer by the hour.

On her death day her family held her hands, sobbed and prayed. The little girl giggled as she slipped away. Her last words, “Mommy, Daddy, Jack there are swing sets in heaven too.” She giggled once more; she closed her eyes and sighed her last breath of relief. She was gone.

            Her father obliged her last wish getting a petition to bury her in the park in a memorial by her beloved swing set. Ten year-old Jessica never lost her sense of wonder; even in death she lets the earth sway beneath her. Her hair flowing with the sky dancing and twirling about her. An eternal smile spread across her face. All thanks to those lazy summer days she spent on the swing set.

Reviews

[shallimarRose]

I can hardly believe this... The last poem I just read was also about a little girl passing away.. Maddy lost her life in a fire, also a true story.... This is a story of loss but also a strength of love and faith and strength.. Very moving tribute to your friends sister.. shallimarRose