My nightmare

I find myself falling into old habits,

Listening to my dads funeral tape,

Rereading the depositions from the lawsuit.

HOW did they let me see that picture,

What kind of sick lawyer wants to show a 21 year old girl a picture of her father dead in a hole.

I still find myself waking up in the middle of night yelling and crying because I still have nightmares of that horrible picture.

A picture I will never forget,

I was the only one who saw the photo in that room,

AFTER our lawyer said the photos weren’t to be shown while we were there.

Yet there lawyer played dirty and flipped through the pages so I had to see my dad.

My dad, dead, in a hole, with a tank on top of him.

This will be my constant nightmare. I’ll never get over this.

Reviews

[Chris]

This one touches the empathy deeply... and directs intense anger toward perceived callousness.

[Christy the Poetic Hear..]

This poem is extremely sad and painful to read. Thank you for making me share your deep emotions and I appreciate the courage it took to write this. Thanks for entering my contest!!!

[sette]

this is something else very sad and there is the suffering inside which you have to cope with your entire life but then you are still young don't waste your life thinking about the cruel and hurtful past let the happy memories stay with you and try to move forward with your life

[barleygirl]

WOW! This is such vivid writing, I can feel every ounce of your agony. I’m so sorry this is your torture & that it feels like it might last forever. I was regularly raped by my dad all thru my youth (prior to age 12 when it stopped). I had the worst visions in my mind about sex. These visions lasted all thru my teens & 20’s, but finally I stopped remembering all the horrible sensations of my youthful torture. I’m not telling you this to get sympathy, becuz I am old & completely healed now. I just want to let you know, so hopefully you can find a tiny bit of confidence that your horrible visions will someday leave your mind alone. I’m so sorry for the way life can be so cruel & the visions & feelings can last so long. You are very brave to share your story so honestly. I hope you will share more. It really helps to get it on the outside. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Thanks for asking me to read this poem. The words are very strong the phrases even sadder. Im so sorry for your loss no you didnt need to be shown that picture of how your Dad went. That is truly so wrong for the man to show you this even as an intentional accident of showing you as he flipped through pictures. Disgusting adult he is. Try to remember the good times how he loved you and how you loved him. Maybe confront him write him a letter or poem and send it to him to show him what damage he has done to you. Im sorry you havve nightmares. I still wake screaming from a traumatic time in my life so many years ago. I pray that your nightmares will end xxx thanks for sharing this try to blot the said picture out of your mind though that isnt easy

[Chris Shaw]

The full horror of what you have seen hits your reader head on. No one should have to be subjected to a sight such as this. Traumatic and terrible. There is nothing that I can say that will be of any comfort to you, other than I have read your words and you expressing your nightmare in this way, may help help you in the long term. I sincerely hope your dreams will bring you some nice memories of your Dad instead of this nightmare. Take care.

Chris