The ballad of Sex Machine

An aging has been rock star comes to terms with the fact he as well as his band and his music is no longer relevant.

THE BALLAD OF SEX MACHINE

Nick squeezed his eyes shut as he belted out the lyrics to one of Sex Machine's monster ballads. He grasped the microphone tightly in his hands. His long dirty blonde hair sticking to his stubbly sweaty face. He grabbed the microphone off the stand and starting strutting about as the stage lights reflected off of his body. The music emanating from the speakers was deafeningly loud, and caused the stage to tremble with their auditory might.

Nick thrust his arm straight out to the audience. A signature gesture of his he started many years ago. But when Nick open his eyes and was able to see through the pulsating lights he wanted to close them again.

There was a time when Sex Machine played in sold out stadiums across the country. Nick would look out at the crowd and see an endless ocean of faceless fans. Rhythmically swaying to guitar riffs and his powerful voice like waves in a vast sea.

But now Nick could very easily see the far end of the bar. Which wasn't very far at all. He felt somewhat embarrassed for making that gesture to the “crowd” at this dead end white trash bar. Even more sobering was the fact he could very plainly make out the poster on the opposite wall. It was a poster of Sex Machine in their heyday. It highlighted one of their many cross country stadium tours. But the poster was horribly faded.

Nick ended the ballad dropping to his knees and leaning back as he sung the final note. He noticed he could not lean back as far as he once did, and it was more difficult to get up from this position. Requiring him to plant one hand on the ground to get up.

At the conclusion of the song their was some random applause among the sparse crowd. Nick thanked his fans for coming tonight and he invited them to the after party taking place in the back half of the bar.

Nick walked off the stage and headed to the bar. He got a pat on the shoulder and a compliment here and there. But there was a time when Nick and his band could not even walk anywhere without an entourage of security. Now Nick could walk freely among the faces in the crowd. As time went on fewer and fewer people recognized Nick. Some would remember but just pass a disinterested glance his way. But there were still some fans out there, there always would be a few.

A couple of middle aged women eagerly approached Nick. Telling him how much they loved Sex Machine and his voice. He smiled at them graciously. These were women whose best days were behind them. They dressed in a manner that was more fitting for much younger and thinner women. They wanted Nick to invite them to the after party. But he saw two other girls he would much rather invite. One of the women begged Nick to sign her panties, which she was wearing. She pulled up her leather mini skirt revealing soft flabby thighs. Nick held in his grimace of disgust or so he thought. She asked him what was that look for in a defensive tone. Nick tried to tell them that the party was full. They didn't take it to well. Telling him he sounded like s**t now.

Nick payed little attention to their comments. He walked over to the 20 something girls and introduced himself. How did you girls like the show? They seemed somewhat embarrassed by this question. They only nodded their heads unconvincingly, saying it was alright. One of the girls said oh yeah, Nick Strider lead singer of Sex Change. Sex Machine answered Nick back quickly. Right, right. My Mom was really into you a long time ago. Nick only smiled back weakly. Would you girls like to come to the after party? They seemed stunned he would ask such a question. Ummm, they giggled maybe. I think we are busy or something. They continued to giggle as they walked away, looking over their shoulder at Nick.

Nick felt the sting of humiliation wash over his body. He looked down at his gut through his open shirt and saw a hairy beer belly staring back at him. Feeling self conscious and realizing he was in a rather unflattering position Nick straightened up and buttoned his shirt. The girls looked back at him again. He over heard one of them say to the other he reminds me of your Dad! Shut up! They ran out the door laughing.

Nick made his way to the restroom. Once at the urinal he could not help but notice the poster before him. An advertisement for upcoming shows in the area. All the bands were up and coming and they were playing at popular venues. It was this new sound, grunge. Nick had scoffed at it. Feeling it was just some angsty fad. How wrong he was.

“Hey Goldilocks, you done?” A fat burly man with thick stubble stood behind him, glaring impatiently. Nick finished up and went to the sink to wash his hands. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. For man in his early fifties he looked older. All those years of hard drugs, wild parties and copious amounts of alcohol had finally caught up with him. Was it worth it? He splashed cool water on his face and pulled his messy hair away from his forehead. Which revealed a noticeably receding hairline. He looked like a man desperately trying to stay young. With his loud skin tight pants and leather vest. His arms had lost their definition, his stubble was gray. He looked old.

Nick left the restroom and headed to the after party. On the way there the two women he had spurned earlier purposely bumped into him and stepped on his foot. A*****e, one of them exclaimed. On the way out one of the women ripped the faded Sex Machine poster off the wall. She looked back at Nick and sneered but then tripped and almost fell over. Likely due to a combination of booze and 5” heels.

Nick entered the back room and into the after party. There were several women present, but not like how it used to be. Nick would have a girl under each arm with many more waiting. Nick looked around and saw the rest of band, or what was left of them. His original lead guitarist passed away recently. Finally losing the battle with his demons, drug addiction. His bass player committed suicide many years ago at the height of the bands popularity. The pressure of fame and trying to maintain a family life just overwhelmed him. His keyboardist and back up vocalist Steve had simply retired when the band finished their final stadium tour, essentially going out on top. Now spending his time with his family. Maybe he was the smart one. Only the drummer, Brett remained. Upon seeing Nick enter the party Brett raised his bottle of Jack to him.

A groupie approached Nick and offered him some blow. Brett must have told her it was his favorite. It was just what Nick wanted, he could use a little pick me up. She laid down on her back. She wanted Nick to snort it off of her stomach. He was more than happy to oblige. However as Nick laid the line of coke on her stomach it just wasn't the same. Tight tan midriffs had now been replaced with stretch marks and flabby bellies. He pulled her stomach taut to snort the line of coke. She giggled like a school girl. The high was almost immediate. But Nick knew that no amount of drugs could ever replace the feeling of being on top of the world. Though it spanned several years it seemed so fleeting and so long ago. They say the fall from the top is especially hard. And Nick was certainly experiencing the fall.

Nick had nothing but the band and his music. He had no back up plan. His band had maybe one or two more shows on the horizon. His money was drying up. He already had to sell his mansion and several of his sports cars. He could no longer afford the luxurious lifestyle and he knew it. But accepting it well, that was another thing.

Nick wanted to do another line. He snorted this one up much more quickly. He looked at the groupie who was giggling again. Her smiling and laughing gave way to the cracks in her heavy make up. Exposing wrinkles around her eyes and mouth that revealed a much older woman trying to hang on to her youth that had long abandon her. Kinda like Nick.

Nick let the drug course through his system. Letting the high take him back to when he was on top. You know what I will be right back. Nick got up to head to the bar to grab a bottle of Jack. He could almost hear his fans cheering him on again as he walked up front to the bar.

But when he got there he was in for a shock. The bartender was cowering behind the bar. She looked up at Nick with a tear streaked face. Her eye make up had run making her look a bit like Alice Cooper. The bouncer lay face down, a pool of blood had collected around his body. And that is when Nick noticed them. One man was pulling cash out of the register. The other was grabbing top shelf liquor from behind the bar. He spotted Nick in his startled haste. He turned his gun on Nick. F**k you has been! And then shot him in the chest. Nick heard the bartender scream as he went down.

As Nick lay on the grimy floor dying his mind slipped into a lucid state of dream like consciousness. He was on a major tour playing at a sold out stadium. He stared out into the crowd. Into a vast sea of raving fans. They seemed to go on forever and ever.