Rain Sound (Remix)

Remixed version of B.A.P's 'Rain Sound'

[VI]
Hear it again the sound of rain as I cry, wishing I could fly, instead I'll just die. I can't live without you girl, you were my shining pearl. We use to curl up on the couch, now it's just an empty pouch. Like I'm poor, I pour out my heart onto the shore of all that is you. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? Can't you hear the rain sound as time passes us by? Here I lie wishing I could just die, no more fight inside, no more will to stride to be the man I once was, all my pride vanished in the air. Did you ever care, or has it been my lonely heart from the very start? Dart away from you me you evil witch, which in fact is exactly what you are in your other's lives. 

[Chorus](Original)
Is this sound of the rain, your voice? Is this a sound that calls to me? Am I the only one thinking of you? Will this rain comfort me? Do you know how I feel? I keep thinking of you. I draw you with a pencil, I erase you with an eraser that is the falling rain. I draw you out again today, will I be able to erase you?

[VII]
Today was darker, harder than the last to move on. I've grown rather found of the hell before me, though I'm not doing well. Can you tell from the misery lingering in my voice? I'm not here by choice, it was you who banished me here. Took the wheel, and steered my life right off the map. Your love was a trap, like what the crap? You never understood love, staring at me content from above. Never offering a hand to help me up, instead just dump your burden upon me. Sure I don't mind, but would it kill you to be kind? So we could dine, and die? I want to live to see other day, but you make this impossible. Can hear the sound of rain, as it pours? 

[Chorus]

[VIII](Original)
Dear sky, please help me. Please stop this rain, so that I can forget her. Oh no. Is this sound of the rain, your voice? Is this a sound that calls to me? Am I the only one thinking of you? Will this rain comfort me? Do you know how I feel? I keep thinking of you. Outside the window, the sound of the rain rings. I remember the memories of us. I can’t live without you girl. On rainy days, I miss you and our kiss. Outside the window, the sound of the rain rings. I remember the memories of us. I can’t live without you girl. On rainy days, I always run into you.

[Chorus]

Reviews

[A.M. Wilborn]

I'm not certain where your writing ends and the song begins, but I did not enjoy this read.
The beginning was predictable and melodramatic and so was the rest of this work.

"Today was darker, harder than the last to move on. I've grown rather found of the hell before me, though I'm not doing well." has promise though I'd change it to:

"Today was darker, harder than the last to move on. Though I've grown rather found of the hell before me, I'm not doing well."

The rest of VII had a promising word or two but not enough.

When I love something, I love it. I'll peruse your other works and comment on something I've enjoyed.