In love with a monster

 I miss how life used to be. I was only familiar with the pain I'd call easy, which was sustainable & forgotten effortlessly. Unlike the pain now, it hurts like I'm walking on a carpet woven from thorns, & this pain plights to linger till it's replaced by a more terrible suffering.

 Life was freedom back then. Terms like mental torture & emotional abuse didn't exist in my diary. The only misery that I recall, came from my favorite superheroes dying in the comic books or bad grades. I believed everything's good in this world. I was happy, all care free, lost in the canvas of joy, forming happy patterns in the clouds, smiling at birds & laughing till I go breathless.

 And then came you, in my close to perfect life, with heaps of fire in both hands & malice in heart, to burn my happy world. You came holding spears of betrayal & love at the same time to stab me with whichever of the two convenient for you at the instant. You put roses in my way, I walked over it only to find thorns disguised underneath. I kept walking & bleeding, while crying & hoping that you'd have removed the thorns & put only roses at some point ahead but it never happened. I was stupid to hope that! And you were replete with desire to see me suffer like those who've been punished to stay alive till the last day & their conditions are worse than that of a corpse. They beg God for death but death is deaf to them. They're to suffer till the end. This is what you wanted for me!

 You wanted to bury me alive, deep in the ruins of misery. It made you happy wounding me with your words, sharper than an arrow, that were aimed at my heart, where it hurts the most. I miss the person I used to be before you came in my life to make the wreckage of it. You held my arm with force & pulled me out of the fantasy I was living in. You came in to teach me what real pain is, by inflicting the worst pain, by making fun of my emotions that were more real than your swears and promises. And you kept choking me like this till I forgot breathing.

 Do you know what's funny about it? That even after all this, telling you goodbye was the hardest thing for me! Even after all this my heart & my soul didn't want to let you go. And that my torn spirit still flutters here & there looking for you.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Quite a read I have to say.
Going from the pretend world of superheroe canvas pain and into the world or real life pain, was quite the comparison. You used some very good descriptive words when talking about fire/spears/love and betrayal. Some very good sentence flowed throughout this section of your piece and was quite an eye opener when I read it. You wrapped it up really well, leaving a sentence that will stick in some readers minds.

Mark.

[Long Whispers]

Thank you so much for liking it. Means so much. :')

[matrixmark]

A real good piece, with a good use of striking words.
Mark.

[Tannya]

wow, really loved the way you describe your emotions because they really shine thru!

[Long Whispers]

This means a lot, Tannya! Thankyou for giving it your time. :')

[T0TS]

Beautiful emotive write...which lead to an enjoyable read. :)

[Long Whispers]

Thank you, Tots! I'm glad you liked it.

[T0TS]

You are very welcome, Azeefa...the pleasure was all mine.

[Sonakshi Arora]

Th worst thing that can happen to us is find the right person at the wrong time. This is such an emotional write and probably relatable to so many people! You have a crazy imagination to come up with such amazing stories! Keep it up!

[Najam Us Saher]

Maybe a crazy imagination but I strongly believe she has a aching heart and longing pain to write such beautiful words.....

[Sonakshi Arora]

Agreed :)
She is featuring on the " Writers to look for" page!
At the top of it

[Najam Us Saher]

Yeah. I noticed that too. She deserves that place. ☺

[Sonakshi Arora]

Absolutely yes!
Congratulations Azeefa!

[Long Whispers]

Thank you so much guys for the love and support! :')

[Najam Us Saher]

You are always welcome ☺

[Najam Us Saher]

I love the way you describe emotions. While I was reading it I wished no one undergoes this type of pain and suffering. I hope they are just your imagination but I can feel that your words hold a truth. Is it your imagination ?

[Long Whispers]

I know some people who've been through this. I tried expressing their pain here.
Thanks for the words! :')

[Najam Us Saher]

Okay.....You're welcome. ☺