The End of My Time Series; No Happy Ending (Part 5 of 5)

The conclusion to my 5 part series! Enjoy...

Lost everything, part of that is *** fault. Part of it, is my own. Did I really have anything left to fight for after *** made the final decision that day? Now, I have a lot to think about. I guess I will have plenty of time to sit around and think as my lonely spirit walks this earth among the mortals. Seeing everyone enjoying life, can be depressing. It reminds me of all I am missing. Why did I not just fight on? I was born and raised to be a fighter and I let one girl ruin it all. Yes, I gave *** everything! However, in the end *** would have been the real loser in this life.

As I journey around this earth, I see happy couples raising kids and enjoying life. I watch as a man throws a baseball with his little boy. The boy has trouble at first but the dad does not let his boy quit. He keeps encouraging his child on and the boy starts to get the hang of it. I see the dad smile as his boy finally catches a pass. The father is very proud of his boy. The child is shouting with excitement as he turns to his mom to show her he caught the ball. I have the ability to fast forward in time, and I fast forward several years later as I watch a smiling old man rejoice as his boy makes a diving catch to secure his baseball teams win in the championship game. The old man is proud and shouts "That's my boy!!!". I cry because I know that had I fought on in life, I could have been in that mans boat. A proud father, who watched and helped his child learn and grow.

I see another couple get married, and I watched as they share their first kiss as husband and wife. I see this same couple a year later in the hospital as the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby girl. This is a very emotional moment in their lives, something they will always remember. However, I will never have the chance to have a child of my own or be able to get married because of my stupid decision to end it all. Never, will I be able to love or feel love again. The only emotion my spirit feels is that of sorrow, my thoughts filled with regret.

Since that day, I ask myself why ***? There were other fish in the sea, but I sat out to win over a shark, that shark ended up being my demise. I knew from the very beginning that I did not have a chance, yet I was dead set on winning *** over. The rejection was much too hard to take and destroyed every bit of my being.  I know that *** did not mean to cause me the worst pain of my mortal life but that is what happened. How was I to ever be happy when I saw *** with him, deep down wishing *** choose me?

When I was a boy, my mother would read me bed time stories. Each one always had a happy ending. These stories always lifted my spirit. I hoped that I too would have a happy ending. After my friend informed me of *** choice, I knew there would be no happy ending for me. I made the decision to be a coward and run from my problems, rather then be the man I claimed to be and live to fight another day.

Now because of my decision I spend every moment of my lifeless life condemned to my own personal hell. Every where I look, I am tortured even more because I will NEVER be able to have the worldly pleasures such as a wife, kid, career, and feeling love again. The biggest failure of my life lead to the biggest mistake of my life. I learned a lesson in all of this, sadly the lesson came too late.
 

Reviews

[Jay Randall]

Let me just begin with the obvious...holy crap!
This is an amazing peice of work Kyle. There are so many things going on here that it boggles my mind how you fit them all into only five short pieces. The level of emotion you've hit on is greater than many of us can even muster up on the best of days and you had it strong from part 1 all the way through. I'd really like to know how long it took you to get all of this down on paper.
Also, the images are vivid yet dreamlike...really great! The wolf makes me think of ***'s spirit or something trying to stop him from the last mistake of ending it, the chaotic weather perhaps a manifestation of God's will telling him not to go through with it? Everything really ties in well together.
I LOVE the fact that you never name the person who caused all of the heartache and let the reader fill in that blank on their own. It could be male or female, blonde or brunette...animal/vegetable/mineral because it really doesn't matter. Everyone has lost love this strong and empathy is easy within the story.
Seriously, the end result, or moral of all this is one to take to heart and think deeply on before anyone does anything drastic and stupid. My personal savior was Rollins Band's "End of Silence" but this story would have done nicely for me back in the day too. Bravo!