What should I do?

I think of what you did to me and what I wanted you to do,
I cannot decide if I love you or I hate you.
You hurt me deeper than anyone before you,
I want to hurt you back and make you bleed.
I want to love you and hear your voice again,
I want things to be like they once were.
My heart sings for peace, but my mind screams for war.
Do I love our past or hate your memory,
Can I hold on to your hope or throw away your heart?
Do I live with you or die with me?
What should I do?