Sweet Depression

This one is long...don't say I didn't warn you. It is basically me venting about how no one in my family understood me...(I have Bipolar) and how I hated them for wanting me to change ALL the time.

My soul is bare, cold and tired,

My heart a prison cell.

I have no inspiration

Just this living hell.

 

My story is old, all done before,

the meaning is unimportant to those

who's live are empty without themselves

all are included-friends, family and foe.

 

What joy is life if you can't live it,

to the fullest - thats what they say

Twisted stanzas, rhymes and riddles.

I wish it would go away.

 

Through all the pain and suffering

Why - should - I - care?

Who is thinking of me?

No one is ever there!

 

I can't deny the way I feel,

It burn me up inside

The cold, hard facts of life.

Now where can I hide?

 

These troubles leave bile behind

on my burning land

My personal war, hate and death

Earth crusting away in my hand.

 

Tell me it will be alright,

that there will be a good day.

Tell me life is worth living,

That a heart isn't far away.

 

You see, my heart is broken,

Torn in pieces and scattered

across all that ment, anything.

Everything that ever mattered.

 

Accepting what I am

Is a challenge unto its own

I live in depression

I am always alone

 

I am so tired of living, of feeling ill

Dying to me isn't such a big deal.

Why am I angry, why am I sad?

I crave these answers I have never had.

Author's Note

Told you it was long.

Reviews

[topsyturvy]

"I am so tired of living, of feeling ill

Dying to me isn't such a big deal.

Why am I angry, why am I sad?

I crave these answers I have never had."
-- Can't answer those for you, I ask them myself and am still waiting for answers myself. Hmmm, on a brighter side of things, when you feel depressed don't you feel better after writing something despite it's length? I don't mind the length in fact, it suits this, if you had written it shorter the effect wouldn't be the same, so it's all good :) Great work btw.:)

[Fairy Tales]

Tell me it will be alright,

that there will be a good day.

Tell me life is worth living,

That a heart isn't far away.

my heart is here for you....

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I am bipolar, my eldest daughter is also bipolar. We are the extreme. I can't help but relate to your poem. It is a very difficult illness to deal with, to live with. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, it's a roller coaster ride most of time. Devastasting and fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing your poem. Debileah

[Crazy Cat Man]

I love this poem deeply and i can relate to it. It sucks that you have to deal with being being Bi-polar. Your family needs to be educated on what that this. I was put in a Mental institute as a child and it wasn't becuz I was mentally ill..it was becuz my parents couldn't find a day care center. so that messed me up for years and im just understanding the causes of it. this poem is great....it touches my heart. I hope many understand this pain. great job

[R J Askew]

Ach. depression is a subtle subject. Is it a product of super realism? Of knowing too much about how life is. Or is it the result of wanting life to be something other than how it is? I am no expert either way. But your poem fascinates as it makes me think. I can't say I have ever felt that crushing despair. I don't know why. I don't know how I wld deal with it were I to suffer it either. I never think of life a particularly good or bad. It's just sort of there. But some might say this is not living to the full, of having a limited emotional range. Maybe there is a lot to be said for being fat, dumb and happy. Not that I am two out of those three. But you can't win 'em all!

[Ama May Cooper]

Long but comferting. A deep hand reachign out to those wthn the sitatuion , tender and gentle words used to display and endless pain.Shearhing for unfindable answers doused in a painful fluid.