The Ego...

Take a bow! You did so well,

You really slogged and saved to get this one!

You really put your heart and soul into this.

But would you look at the damage you've done?!

 

Well done! You win...again!

You stomped on every soul for this,

You crushed everyone who loved you

For your instant feeling of bliss!

 

Would you look at that! That gold star!

I bet you think you're all that?!

I bet you think you are better than us.

But how will you manage to uphold this act?

 

Oh, how sweet, your new friends applause!

Take a bow like the puppet you are!

Dance monkey, dance with your little hat.

We always said you were going to go far!

 

What are those? Tears?

Why would you ever want to cry?

You have it all now my dear.

And now you wish you could die?

 

You rose to the top with blinding speed.

Stood on your pedestal like the Cheshire Cat!

Nose held so high, it started to bleed!

Oh, take a bow! Take a bow!

 

The comedy of the year!

You...you clever little tramp!

You thought you could have it all?

Now you sit here and rant?!?

 

Rant!!! You wanted this!

You wanted the world to see you!

You didn't care who you hurt to get it.

Horrible words when they're true...

 

Now what? You want sympathy?

You want forgiveness, comfort?

You want to "befriend" me?

YOU threw me away! YOU!

 

You silly little tramp!

 

 

Author's Note

Is this any good? I wrote it in a blind rage... So I wasn't objective...

Reviews

[DiggeyEleven]

Blind rage indeed, I personally thought it was quite good. There's moments in it where the flow seems a little off, me talking about flow is like me talking about the inner workings of a women's brain, I know very little about it. But I love the anger in it, I love some of the messed up imagery, it makes me want to know what your little tramp did to deserve such harsh words.

You rose to the top with blinding speed.
Stood on your pedestal like the Cheshire Cat!
Nose held so high, it started to bleed!
Oh, take a bow! Take a bow!

The type of lines you need to scream to a crowd and have them gasp in horror =O
Just a very cool, dark, slightly humorous read.

[the fatal believer.]

I'm the second person mentioning this verse:

You rose to the top with blinding speed.
Stood on your pedestal like the Cheshire Cat!
Nose held so high, it started to bleed!
Oh, take a bow! Take a bow!

...but I just love it.

Now, about the whole poem - well, the topic is pretty usual and you presented it in a very simple way... It's good that you caught your emotions, but the poem itself needs a bit more time. One detail I really loved was the way you managed to express your 'blind rage' quite elegantly, while calling the subject 'a tramp'. It sort of highlights your superiority, some kind of victory. I don't know if anybody noticed that...

[angry_pandit]

applauds ** applauds ** your honesty is so striking, i think you just made my day.. dirty little tramp :D ....
please do continue.... your audience awaits...

[R J Askew]

Full of gloves-off emotion. A sustained expression that zillions of us will have elements of in our own emotional CVs. The language is direct and uncluttered and the use of 'you' makes it all sound very personal. Maybe the best poetry is written when we are out of our objective boxes.

[DavidRyan]

It's simple. Not vague in any way, just right to the point. Even in a blind rage, you seem to have had the ability to still form it well, moving swiftly and the story , as it builds on itself, goes from rage right into a clever rant. Well done.

[Babbette Francis]

I like this, though the beat was off in places, it didn't take from the meaning, your anger is very clear. I like that you wrote this while you were angry and you did a great job at it.