Perfect Moment

Not really a story, more like a vignette.

The soft movement of the cloth on the window.  The gentleness of the fabric moving with the breeze.  It somehow soothed her as she lay there in his arms.  In his bed.

She felt as if she had finally found her place, where she belonged.  There, next to him.  His deep breaths as he quietly slept.  Watching him, feeling him.  His long masculine body, relaxed.  Her soft feminine self, wrapped around him.  Her heart open to him in a way that she had never experienced.  

It was as if her world did not begin until this very moment.  That everything in her life was but preparation for this moment.  This time.   

She lay there, mesmerized by his presence.  Feeling a connection that she did not know was possible.  A connection with another human being so real, yet so etherial.  She knew that it was something she wanted.  Something she craved, but she could not put words to it to describe it to anyone, much less herself.  But, here she was, feeling it.  Experiencing it.  And it was very real.

It was the little things he did.  The way he looked at her, the way he touched her. It was in his kiss, and his embrace.  His words and the way he spoke them.  No one thing that she could put her finger on, but the collection of all the little things that touched her so deeply.  Indescribable.  It was if someone, some greater being from the universe, dipped into her subconscious and created this man from a pattern that she had written and designed without words, without conscious thought.  And here he was, next to her and very real.  

Her thoughts now were only how she could hold onto this feeling forever.  Knowing that she would do whatever it took to keep it.  To somehow write it on her heart and in her memory so that she could relive it each and every day, for the rest of her life.  

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The story is amazing.
"Her thoughts now were only how she could hold onto this feeling forever. Knowing that she would do whatever it took to keep it. To somehow write it on her heart and in her memory so that she could relive it each and every day, for the rest of her life. "
I like the set-up of the short story. Create a gentle and kind love. I liked the above lines. To write down words when the emotion are exploding with joy. Would be a perfect time. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Lola Nevius]

Thank you so much. This was a very personal work and I am glad it resonated with you. ~Lola

[Coyote Poetry]

I have been writing for 45 years. I have over 50 journals. Good and bad days. Today I use them to create poetry. Good to write when you know happiness and sadness. You are welcome.

[Lola Nevius]

I too journal and have for more than 10 years. Oftentimes, my journal was the only outlet I had and it has helped me to learn from the past. I would like to write poetry, and I know that it can be anything I wish it to be, but what I write is just not what I would call poetry. I don't know. Maybe I will try again and post something here to get some feedback. So far this site and the friends I have made have really inspired and motivated me. We shall see. ~Lola

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are very good. I hope to read more.

[G.GabrielPen]

The seamless love from an archetype is a pure joy. You have captured that perfection and the subsequent anxiety in a honeyed base. Very nice read. I chose this one for the title and was not let down.

[Annacate]

This is really beautiful. Perfectly written. You captured that moment so well. Those of us who have been lucky enough to have had real moments like this can completely relate. If you hadn't stated that this was a vignette and not a full story, it would feel incomplete, because it leaves me wanting to know more about these characters. But it seems like you have tried to capture just the feelings and images of that moment so it works really well. I do think it would fit wonderfully into a longer love story as well.

[Lola Nevius]

Thank you for your review and comments. This is exactly why I have joined with community. I think it is so important for us writers to reach out to each other and share our work. I look forward to reading some of your submissions Annacate. Again, thank you. ~Lola

[Robert Parlange]

Good way to practice writing. I write “scenes” that will eventually fit somewhere. Keep them stored in notebooks and a computer file. You never know. No writing is ever lost.

[Lola Nevius]

Yes, I am realizing that everything I write, no matter what it is, can be used for good. Be it in a story, poem or just for me to express a thought or feeling. Thank you very much! ~Lola