A Million Balloons

I told myself it's useless to regret. Yet here I am, with the biggest regret I ever had in my whole damn entire miserable life.

A million balloons

Flew out from my hands

But I did not cry

No, I won't!

Cos I promised myself

To never regret

But then one day

I had a special balloon

Holding it felt perfect

Having it made me the happiest

It's something I never had before

It's strange, but also familiar

It made me feel warm

It made me feel human

And like the other balloons I had before

I let it go

After I see it fly away

I thought I will be okay

But alas

I've never been so wrong

For the first time

Regret filled not just my emotion but also my eyes

Sleepless and tearful nights

My ears full of loud silent cries

No, it wasn't just a special balloon I had

It was more, it was once in a lifetime

And no matter how much I pray to God

I can't take the moment back

So devil, please show yourself

Take me life, my soul, my all

Bring me back in time when I was holding the balloon

And I promise to keep and cherish it forever

Please, my balloon come back to me

 I can no longer do this alone

It's my fault I let you go

So for eternity, I will wait for you

~

S.

Reviews

[Amy R]

This poem explores the emotional turmoil that arises when one lets go of something cherished—a metaphorical "balloon" representing love, happiness, or a significant moment in life.

Very well written, it's a very interesting perspective to. I enjoyed it since it's different.
Very much liked the imagery used and language. Well penned.🌸❤

It invites us readers to reflect on their own experiences of loss and the longing for what once was.
Thanks for sharing. -Amy 😊

[Pete]

ah - the one that got away, sounds like it must have been some balloon. creatively told in a captive way. winds change direction.

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh." - Thoreau

[JayG]

This is you talking about you. What's in it for the reader?

When you say, A million balloons Flew out from my hands what can this mean to a reader, who doesn't know if it's meant metaphorically or in reality?

I’ve had the strings from balloons slip from my hands, but not once did a balloon "fly out of my hands." Obviously, you have intent for the meaning. But does the reader have access to your intent? No. So, the reader expects you to clarify, next. But do you?

• But I did not cry

Why not? Unless we know why we SHOULD cry, and why we didn’t, the words have no meaning to anyone but you.

No, I won't!

Well...if you didn’t cry when an aircraft carrier sized group of balloons appeared from inside your hand, why would we expect tears in the future? Again, you have intent, but never make it clear to the reader, because you’re talking AT them, as if they already have context.

• Cos I promised myself To never regret

Regret what? And why are you making up words? The world is a big place, and local idioms are just that, local.

• But then one day I had a special balloon

In what way is it special? You’re leaving out everything the reader needs to make sense of the words. Remember, unless it makes sense as-it’s-read, the reader will turn away, right then. No one who is confused by what’s on the page will continue, in hope that it will eventually make sense.

The problem is, because you have context before you begin reading, and are guided by your intent for the meaning, it works as it should...for you. That’s why we need to edit from the seat of a reader, who has only the context we supply.

Poetry is a lot more than the poet talking about what’s important to them. Readers come to be entertained, not learn your mood on the day it was written. They want to be made to care and feel. As E. L. Doctorow put it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” And how to do that is a learned skill that’s unrelated to the methodology we’re taught in school. That’s fact-based and author-centric, and great for writing letters, reports, and other nonfiction applications. But it’s useless for fiction because it yields what we have here: You, writing about things meaningful to you, without making it meaningful to the reader.

I tend to repeat myself, because we pretty much all fall into the same traps when we turn to fiction and poetry. So I’ve said this to you before. But unless you acquire and make use of the emotion-based techniques of poetry, and switch to involving rather then informing the reader, nothing will change.

My favorite example of emotion-based poetry is the lyric to the song, "The Twelfth of Never," released in 1957. Look at the opening:
- - - - -
You ask how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.
You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
- - - - -
Notice the clever trick played on the reader: The speaker is replying to a question the reader supposedly asked, placing that reader INTO the poem, as the beloved who has asked that question. And since the question is one we might ask of someone who loves us, the answer is inherently interesting (especially since, if it’s a good answer we might use it).

So with “You ask,” and without realizing why, the reader is emotionally involved. To me, that’s brilliant writing, because this one makes the rest of the poem meaningful to the reader.

In response to the question of how long their commitment will last, the speaker dismisses it as supposedly obvious. Yet it’s a critical question, so the seeming disconnect again draws the reader in, with the unspoken comment of, "Well yes, you absolutely must tell me, because I need to know." So, given the attitude placed into the reader with that thought, we WANT to hear the response, and it feels as if it's directed at us. And that is a HUGE hook. Right?

The response is 100% allegorical. It says, in effect, “I can’t live without you,” but does it in a pretty, and interesting way, which is one of the joys of poetry.

The question/answer sequence then continues with a clever twist, Love will end, but on a date that’s an impossibility.

It’s 100% emotion-based writing. It calls up context that already exists in the reader/listener’s mind. But even had they never heard the expression “like roses need rain,” it would be instantly meaningful.

It’s part of a song, but this first verse, for me, is a perfect example of emotion-based poetry.

Let's take it one step further, and look at the FLOW. It's metrical poetry, so it rhymes. But notice that the rhymes aren't the obvious Moon/June type, and the words fit the thought so well that the rhyme seems incidental, an accent rather than a drumbeat. And each line has the same cadence: seven beats per line that the reader, or singer, will fall into, enhancing the experience.

Make sense?

The problem behind the problem, as I see it, is that for the author, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in our mind. But too often, for the reader, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in *OUR* mind, because we forget to give the context that will make the words meaningful to the reader.

Aside from the great lyrics, it’s a pretty song. The most popular version of it, recorded by Johnny Mathis in 1958 is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnPnSjCUnc

So try that book I suggested