The Song of Sleep...

Sing to me Mother Earth,

so that I may hear your heartbeat.

listen closely to the lonely lullaby:

The air is heavy with your solemn, saddened sighing,

keeping pace and perfect time

with the melody of the moon

as she strums her strands of silk. 

Let the clouds join in the chorus,

and the wind will whisper softly

to help you keep the tune.

Reviews

[Mr. Misanthrope]

This poem contains everything any reader would want. Great imagery, alliteration (but not too often), and an overall ethereal beauty only found in nature, which is also particularly hard to capture on paper.

Great read! I'm still trying to figure out what special aspect this poem has about it, or maybe its secrets are part of its charm?

Luke:)

[KristaK]

That's gorgeous! I love the way you incorporated music and nature into this. The imagery was wonderful and it seemed to convey a sense of obscurity as you read it. I loved it.

[Girlintheworld]

What a beautiful lullaby. I hope you have put it to a tune that you can teach me so that we can keep this one in the family and sing it to our babies someday.

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

Oh my, this was AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL!! I'm absolutely in love with this. The idea behind this and the focus on Mother Earth is genius. This reminds me of one of those poems you read by chance in a school textbook and fall in love with it. Absolutely amazing.

[Sammie]

My favorite lines of this particular piece would have to be
"keeping pace and perfect time
with the melody of the moon"

I can almost SEE exactly what you mean here. There's not much room for critique, miss Lolo. I am truely envious of your style, and imagination.

[Delilah Dunn]

"with the melody of the moon,
as she strums her strands of silk."

"and the wind will whisper softly
Just to help you keep the tune."

And you speak of the movement and imagery of my lines...this piece is so evocative that I believe I actually felt it, rather than reading it. There is a complete peace within the lines of this poem, and it appears, my dear, dear friend, that in that song that mother earth sings, we share the same favorite song.
A shimmering read. Thank you.

[Emily Rose]

Ah, gorgeous! Your imagery is pretty, soothing and very much in keeping with the tone that you set. But I did find some issues with the punctuation (I'm big on punctuation, forgive me). This is how I would punctuate it:

Sing to me Mother Earth,
so that I may hear your heartbeat.
Listnen closely to the lonely lullaby: ("Listen is spelled wrong. Honest mistake! I also added a colon after "lullaby" instead of a period, since the next lines go on to describe the lullaby you're speaking of.)
the air is heavy with your solemn, saddened sighing, (I changed the period to a comma; I think that the next few lines should be combined with this one, because on their own they don't make a complete sentence.)
keeping pace and perfect time (I deleted the comma)
with the melody of the moon (another deleted comma. I can understand why you put them there - this piece seems like it should have pauses to ensure that it isn't read too quickly. You might want to play around with some different forms of "slowing" punctuation to keep this effect - dashes, perhaps, or ellipses.)
as she strums her strands of silk.
Let the clouds join in the chorus (I deleted the comma, as it was unnecessary.)
and the wind will whisper softly
to help you keep the tune. (I got rid of the "just" since it seemed to clutter the line)

Of course, I mean absolutely no offense by these revisions; this is just how I would do it. And obviously I'm not you. By the way, I absolutely love your use of alliteration - the way the sounds of the words blend together really creates a great tone for the poem. The softer sounds in repetition, the s's and l's, really give it another level of feeling and depth. Great job with this!

[[untitled]]

the wind will whisper softly
Just to help you keep the tune.

I like these lines right here, this is wonderful.