Sleep for the heavy hearted...

I've been awake for some time now.

Part of me is laying here wishing that I could drift off to dream.

The other part knows that nothing waits for me there.

So I am incapacitated.

Tossing and turning,

Unable to go,

Not willing to stay.

Trying every position,

Wanting for comfort,

And yet it is just beyond my grasp.

Is it because my body is restless

Or is it my mind.

Do I have to much on it,

Because years ago I knew less and yet

It was easier to be oblivious to my surroundings.

No, I think perhaps it is neither.

I would once escape to my dreams-

They served as an outlet.

I hid away from the world in those dreams.

I watched myself rise to glory in those dreams

While the flesh of me was lost.

My dreams hold no haven now.

There is no need.

I dream now, of such wondrous things,

Sun and warmth and love and life.

But all dreams when answered with reality are paled.

I want every waking moment to be mine

Because I live the wondrous things I speak of everyday.

The life I dreamt of for so long that was once out of reach

I now hold it firmly in my hands.

Who would want to be a spectator

When you could be a participant?

Things are backwards-

I live my dreams while I am awake

And hope for reality while I sleep.

Who could sleep under such circumstances?

I just have to sleep long enough for reality to see us together again.

Author's Note

Suggestions welcome.

Reviews

[Lalalalalalalala57]

"Things are backwards-
I live my dreams while I am awake"
I'm wondering if that's literal or not, as the next line contradicts the initial perception:
"And hope for reality while I sleep."
Do you mean dreams in the above line as in: goals/objectives/things you want to do? Or do you mean the literal term for dreaming whilst asleep? If you mean the former, then it's a nice twist to have "reality whilst I sleep", which would indicate that experiencing being awake is fabricated; just like a dream.

I like lines where our connotation perceptions are turned upside down like the above one.

If you meant the latter, then it would pose an altogether different meaning. The insomnia mentioned in the first half of the poem would account for the blurred discernment of the conscious and unconscious. The ambiguity of your words is really profound and thought provoking! I'm really intrigued by this poem. Is the character(s) you?

This is going in my favourites. Perfect stuff. Deep and interesting. :-)