DL - All His Children

Eighth chapter of the initial section of A House Fractured entitled Darkness Looming.

The Refuge of the Redeemer rose from a small plaza just off Heilyn. Li stared at the imposing stone cathedral; she had never seen it up close. She had seen its spires from the main market place or from the one of the towers of the castle. This was the first time she saw the actual building.

As she cross the plaza, Li saw the large wooden doors were open. Wide stone stairs lead up to the doors. She stood at the bottom, staring at the ornate stonework before her. The detail and intricacy took her breath away.

�You shouldn�t keep the Vicar waiting.� Li looked away from the workmanship to a small wizened woman dwarved by the doors. She wore an austere black dress.

�I�m sorry.� Li said as she bounded up the stairs. At the top, she noticed the only jewellery the woman wore was a simple triangle hanging from a silver chain. She recognized the symbol of D�a.

�You are five minutes late,� the woman scolded.

A twinge of anger flashed through Li. She held her tongue.

�The Vicar is a busy man.�

�I understand. Again, I am sorry.�

The woman snorted as she motioned to inside the cathedral. As she crossed the threshold, Li�s senses were overloaded. The bright late afternoon sunlight became candle light flickering about a cavernous space. The air was filled with the scent of sandalwood; youthful voices filled the vaulted place.

�It is quite a sight to see, isn�t it?� The woman asked as she stopped at the last row of dark stained wooden pews.

�Yes.� Li could not find words to express what was about her. The glittering stain glass windows on her left mesmerized her. Intricate stone and wood work framed the windows, rising up to the arched ceiling. �Quite a monument.�

�Yes, but it is still made of stone, wood and glass.� The woman said simply. �You know, God is the only permanent thing.�

The song came to an end, sending plaintive echoes about the cathedral. Li looked to see the choirmaster, halfway down the long room, flipping through some parchments. She noticed only a few parishioners were in the pews. One, an old man rose, heading to the entrance. When he reached Li and the woman, he lowered his head, placing his palms together.

�Peace be upon you.�

Li did not know how to respond. The woman bowed, pressing her palms together.

�His blessings on you, R�n�n,� the woman responded.

A mischievous glint came to R�n�n�s eyes as his head came up, looking at Li.

�Fret not, Sister.� He reached out, gently touching her forearm. �We are all one with God. Even if you don�t know it.�

He looked at the woman. �And His blessings on you, Aeda.�

�Are you keeping well?�

R�n�n shrugged. �As well as can be expected. I, like many, are waiting for the end of the turn.�

�Will you will be fine?� Aeda asked, concerned.

�I will.� He looked away, sheepishly.

�I thought so.� Aeda reached into the folds of her dress, pulling out a copper piece. She pressed it into his hand.

�I cannot accept it.�

�Yes you can.�

Quickly the coin disappeared into a pocket. �My thanks.�

�Think nothing of it. And don�t forget the handing-out in three days.�

�I shan�t.�

�We will take care of you.�

�I know. I must go.� R�n�n quickly started to the door. As he left, Aeda let out a sigh.

�I do hope he uses the coin wisely.�

�Pardon?�

�Ever since his wife died over a cycle ago, his life has been a struggle.�

�It has?�

�Now, all too often, he finds comfort in wine and spirits. He was once a prosperous merchant. Now he is one of the many poor we strive to help. He is in need of God�s healing touch.� Aeda paused. �I will have to remember him in my prayers.�

�What is a handing out?� Li wondered.

�At the end of each turn, we fill baskets with staples to give to the less fortunate. Different members of the church canvas various establishments to aid us. The help many get from the government is not enough for many to survive properly. We do our best to give a little, be it for R�n�n or the families that have fallen on hard times.�

�I did not know.�

A wistful smile came to Aeda face. �People do not know how difficult it is for some people.� She motioned to a door at the right, past the last row of pews. �We shouldn�t keep the Vicar waiting.�

Li followed her to the door. It opened to a large room, rich with wooden shelves and scribe benches. Several worn leather armchairs sat by long stain glass windows. Two monks were at work.

�This is our main study and copy room.�

The two crossed the room, heading left. �You have many books here.�

�The words of D�a are a living truth,� Aeda said simply. �The Canons may be old but are as relevant now as then. Yet the original language and meanings are, at times, obscure. Those touched by the Breath need places to work and read. Their inspiration keep the Canons alive.�

�Is this the only place in Llangeinwen you have?�

�No.� They reached a simple wooden door. �We have similar rooms in D�n Delgan and D�n �arl�. Our main scriptorium is outside Tuaim Inbhir. Our scribes prefer the peace of the countryside.�

Aeda knocked. After a few moments, a voice called out. As she opened the door, Aeda motioned Li forward. �Be at peace.�

She walked into a circular room. Before her, three quarters of the wall had long stain glass windows and ornate stonework. There were two windows for each quarter. Each colourfully depicted different people. In the centre stood a slender, fluted column. It rose up to the domed ceiling, the flutes flaring out to the stone between the windows.

�Come in, come in.� Vicar Saar called out. His large marble desk was bisected by the pillar. Parchment cluttered the top. The vicar placed a quill into an inkwell.

�Ah, my dear. So glad you could make it.� His voice was deep and soothing. The cadence was hardy. �I do hope Aeda was not to annoying.�

�Ah ... no.� Li was confused.

�She can be a little strong when witnessing.�

�Witnessing?�

A jolly laugh erupted from the vicar. He rose, his simple brown robe flowing about his rotund body. He motioned to a small table to her left, under a window. The image was a tall man in a white robe with long black hair. A golden aura flowed about his head.

�I suppose some of this is a tad confusing.�

Li rolled her eyes. �Yes.�

�I have some black tea seeping. Join me.�

A white lace table cloth covered the table top. Two cups and a porcelain teapot awaited them. Simple blue flowers adorned the bone white of the porcelain. Li joined Saar at the table. He waited until she sat down.

�It is an obligation to spread the word of D�a,� he explained. �We do this by what we call witnessing.�
He poured some tea into her cup, before filling his. �There are different sentiments with respect to witnessing. Aeda is somewhat more orthodox. More of the image you have of us. She can be a little heavy-handed with non-believers.�

�She wasn�t with me.�

The cleric cocked an eyebrow. �I�m surprised. Mayhap she is starting to mellow.�

�What do you mean?�

He picked up his cup, taking a sip. �It may surprise you that what you see really is a church that is diverse. There are some who believe people will turn to my faith by proselytizing. Be aggressive to get the word out. You have to fight to break down the walls that the Fallen One tried to build around non-believers. Or as I see it, shoving down people�s throats.�

Li was taken aback by the vicar�s honesty. She felt at ease with him; he was like a caring father talking to his daughter.

�You do not believe that?�

A mischievous smile came to his face. �No, I do not. For me, I should be the witness. I should be the message.�

�How?�

�Be it myself or other followers, the best way to witness is to show them our lives. From that you can see the power and love of D�a. By looking at our lives and how they are transformed is a more powerful tool than quoting passages from the Canons. And threatening people with damnation.�

�Oh.�

�There is power in words. But often not sustainable. Using an overused adage, actions speak louder than words. By seeing how my faith has transformed my life, I believe is more potent than quoting passages. Especially when things become difficult, as they can become.� The vicar sighed.

�Yet there are some in my congregation who do not see things my way. Which can be, at times, frustrating. You have no idea how difficult life can be for someone like myself in a sea of those who are rigid and inflexible.�

Li did not know what to say. She had come to find out the details of what she would be doing in Tuaim Inbhir, not become involved in discussions on the vicar�s religion. Yet she was curious.

�I apologize, my child. I do have a tendency to babble. One complaint I hear about my sermons. You did not come here to hear about my problems.�

Li took a sip of her tea. �I did not realize that there were problems. There is so little I know about your faith. Save the mutterings I have heard in the court or on the streets.�

�And there would be.� Saar sat back in his chair. �So much is unknown or misunderstood of what we stand for. I�ve have done my best to educate but alas, many have not heard what I�ve said these many cycles. Yet it is written we would have hardships.�

�It is?�

�Oh, yes,� he said, emphatically. �I know what many think of us. Once you are washed of your sins and accept D�a as your saviour, you have been saved and there is not much else you have to do. But that is the furthest from the truth. Accepting D�a is but the first step of a journey.

�D�a spoke of the difficulties we would have with those who are hard of heart. He told us that people would turn away. People would persecute us. I was not called to an easy life, my child.

�And there is the simple fact we are sinners. We are flesh and blood. It is folly to believe that once you have been washed of all sin that it will never haunt you. We, I, stumble and fall. I am tempted. The Fallen One is out there. Yet He knows that. That is what I wish people to know. Life is difficult. It is hard. Accepting D�a does not change that. But He will give you strength when you need it.�

Saar waved his hand toward a stain glass window. �There are so many lost souls out there. In pain and do not know why. Lost. Asking questions yet not finding answers. My job is to let people see there is an answer. But not a simple solution.�

�I know,� Li said softly.

�So I have been told. A�fe told me what she could.�

Li was taken by the genuine warmth and caring she felt from the priest. Her heart started to pound, emotion welled in her.

�Ever since S�danta�s death, I have been so confused.� The words poured out. �Why did he have to die? Especially that way. Why is it almost no one seems to care?� Her fist came down onto the table. The vicar sat, unperturbed.

�I�ve grown up with An�il. I would have thought, from all I know, they would care. Yet even when he was alive, the druids showed no interest. Really, disdain, I would say! It felt as if they wanted him to be shut in that tower.� Li�s voice cracked.

�I believe he found peace and love when he escaped. Only to be dragged back to D�n Su�bhn�. To be caged in rooms hinting at what he had. Always a view of the city or gardens. Something he could never touch because no one cared.�

A sad smile crossed Saar�s face. �If you are hoping I might be able to find simple platitudes or explanations, I do not have them.�

�No, no!� Li protested. �I did not say this for that.�

�In some ways, you did.�

Li sensed the truth in his words. She did not realize she had hoped the kindly figure before her might be able to answer what plagued her.

�We believe in hope, my child. True hope, not false hope.� A strength infused his words. �Life is difficult. Things happen we cannot explain or want to. Often horrible things happen. I constantly ask God why. Yet, I do not always get an answer.�

Tears filled his eyes. �Let me give you an example. Just a few days ago, one of my parishioners brought a young girl for sanctuary. Just a slip of a lass, abandoned by her family because she was with child.

�The father of her child is a brute boy. Edlym is his name. He saw nothing wrong with beating her for the smallest slight. Yet Ughaine loved him. Some of my flock had come to me for advice. I had little to give. There was nothing they or I could do that would change how she felt.�

�That is not true!� Li blurted. �They could have taken her away from him. Let ...�

�No, my child.� Saar was firm. �She would have only gone back. I have seen it too many times before. All they could do was to be there for her. Support her. And hope, in time, their actions and words might make her see.�

�That is all you could advise?� Li looked at him with disdain. She could not believe the lack of action the cleric advocated. His inaction allowed a young girl to be beaten by her boyfriend.

�I know your mind is reeling with what ifs. What if we confronted Edlym? Maybe threatened him? Took Ughaine to a safe place away from D�n Su�bhn�? Possibly you think I was ineffective in the situation.� He shook his head. �I went through much of the same.

�But there is power in words, Li. Power is simple actions. I have seen it work. Sometimes ...� His voice broke.

�But not this time?�

�No.� The way the vicar spoke the word, a dread came over Li. A tightness knotted her stomach. He reached out to touch her hand.

�One of my flock brought her in. She had been savagely beaten. I will not describe her state. But because of the beating, she was bleeding. The birthing pains started. yet she had still two turns to go. There was nothing we could do. Ughaine and the child died here.� He pointed to an empty spot across the room. �I had the divan removed because of the blood."

Li stared at the spot. Her head grew light. A gray mist filmed her eyes. Her stomach roiled; bile rose up her throat. What is happening? The mists cleared. A light blue divan formed before her. Stretched out on it was a young girl, her chestnut hair matted against the fabric.

Sweat glistened on her bruised face. Aeda knelt beside her, laving her brow with a cloth. Saar stood at the end. Li gasped at the sight. All about the waist, girl�s cream robe was stained in red. Rivulets of blood ran down the front of the divan, forming a pool on the floor.

�D�a, D�a, please aid us!� Aeda keened. �Why, Ughaine? Why?�

�Where is the physician?� The vicar asked, frantic. �He should be here by now.�

Ughaine let out a scream. Aeda clutched her hand.

�Hold on, dear. All will be well.� Aeda looked to the vicar. Li could see fear in her eyes. A knocking at the door made her jump. Saar rushed away from the divan.

�Enter, enter.� He yelled out. A tall man with short brown hair came into the room. His thin lips were drawn tight. Li sensed the man was annoyed at being summoned.

�I have a woman in distress.� The vicar spoke quickly. �You must help her.�

The physician�s brown eyes lazily moved to Ughaine. The physician did not react or show concern. He made his way to the divan, his black kit swaying in his hand. He placed a hand on her abdomen. Only when Ughaine screamed again did Li see a change in his body language. He looked about the area.

�Fetch me hot water!� The physician ordered. �As many bowls, chamberpots, vats. Whatever you can get. And clean linen.�

Saar scurried out of the room. The physician turned to Aeda.

�Ma-am, I need you to stay focused and comfort the girl. I must do things you may find distasteful but I do not have time for your sensibilities.�

Aeda looked at him, not knowing what to say. From his kit, the physician pulled out a scalpel. Quickly, he cut the fabric of Ughaine�s robe from top to bottom. As the fabric fell away, her swollen breasts sank to her sides. Her distended belly was exposed. The physician pushed her legs apart. Ughaine groaned in pain. His hand slipped into her private area. Li looked away.

�How much time does she have left?� The physician demanded.

�Two turns.� Aeda said meekly.

�By the fates! Too soon. She is not wide enough!�

Clanking noises filled the room as the vicar and other people rushed in with various pots of steaming water. The physician wave the pots and linens by the divan.

�I must force the muscle to expand.� As his hand started to move about the bloody area, Li screamed out. I don�t want to see more! No! The divan faded away.

�They died over there.� Li croaked.

�Yes.� Saar wiped the tears on his cheek with the edge of his sleeve. �That night, I went into the sanctuary. I prayed. I cried. I screamed. I said things I should not have to my God. And I demanded answers. And I received none.�

He looked down. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. A thought came to Li.

�But do you not believe in miracles and the intervention of your god with things like prayers?�

�Yes. But it would seem that evening, they were not answered.�

�And this still gives you hope? Your prayers weren�t answered.�

A sad chuckle filled the room as he looked at Li. �Yes, the hand of God and prayer. The simple traps so many fall into. Not just for those who follow my path.�

�You do not believe in what you teach?�

�Oh yes I do!� Saar said emphatically. �But, my child, it is so much easier to show how the Chosen affect our world than how God does. This is because we can experience God yet we cannot define God. I do not understand why so many cannot see such a simple truth. Or are reluctant to accept it.

�Our minds are too limited to embrace what it means to be God. We are finite, He is infinite. We cannot view our world from God�s perspective, no matter how hard some have tried. I believe we cannot show when or where God�s intervention was decisive.�

�But I have heard some have prayed to stop a hurricane from hitting the coast and it passed Llangeinwen.�

The Vicar�s brow furrowed. �I know of whom you speak. They are a small sect that wish to return to what they call the fundamentals. But I believe they are missing that point that we can never show when God�s intervention is decisive.

�If we could, by extension, we would be able to explain why God does not always intervene. If God can be appealed to one side, why not the other?�

�What do you mean?�

�Can God stop a hurricane? An earthquake? A young man beating his girlfriend? Stop an incurable disease? If He can, why doesn�t He just do so?�

The vicar put up his hand to stop Li. �I know you have heard of those that use my religion as a cloak or excuse. I have heard and seen the charlatans who will lay hands to say you are healed. Yet when you are not, they blame you, not God. Your faith was not strong enough.

�We cannot fathom God. What is easier to see, for me, is how God might enable a person to be more attuned to the world around them. Be more sensitive to the evil that lurks around us. And become more dedicated to committing their energy to stop evil.

�I have cause some controversy by suggesting that we must stop seeing God as someone like us. God is without limits. They should see Him as a permeating presence. A life force. The power of love. The foundation of being. If you don�t see God that way, the question you ask will forever perplex you. As it does so many.�

Li�s hands balled into fists. �But how can you be so analytical? What happened here is evil. All you can say is we should be more sensitive to what is about us. It should not exist! Why does such evil exist?�

�Be it us, the druids of An�il, the worshippers of Psha, that is a riddle that confounds us. But ...�

�But there has to be an answer to evil!�

The vicar shook his head. �Be careful, my child, with that word.�

�Why?� Li glared at him.

�It is an easy word to bandy about. I do not see evil as a simple issue.�

�I see.� She scoffed. �Just like A�fe.�

�Do you consider Magnus evil?�

Li was taken aback by the question. �Of course. How can you ask such a question? Look at his actions! Be it the dark elves or the wars he has waged in Larn�. How can you not see him as evil?�

Saar sat back in his chair. �Save what you know came from biased reports, all you have seen is his actions. Not his reasons. Or drives. So you do not see Magnus as a good person?�

�Of course not!� Li was horrified at the question.

�But what if Magnus thought of himself as a good person?�

�That is of no consequence.�

�Is it now? From what I understand, Magnus believes he is a good person.�

�But he isn�t!�

�Can you sat that with certainty?�

Li did not know how to answer. She had not expected the conversation to turn as it did. She had come to learn of her duties, not discuss the Creator or the essence of evil. Saar gave her a sad smile.

�We have stumbled upon one of the most baffling questions that face the Chosen. I bring Magnus in as an extreme example. But the situation is the same with Edlym.

�We are not the only group that believe we are created in God�s image. Even An�il suggests this. Yet we believe God is good. He is love. So if we are created in His image, how can someone be evil?�

�Free will.�

�A simple answer to a complex question. As many before me believe. The great thinkers, philosophers or theologians have been perplexed by this. But I feel it always comes down to a plain point. What has made the person we are talking about.�

�Pardon?� She felt lost and confused by the turn of discussion.

�Be it Magnus or Edlym, what makes the person who they are? As I said before, Magnus believes he is doing good for the world.�

�How do you know that? He told you?�

The vicar shook his head. �His daughter told me. Esterl comes to visit the isle every so often. She may hate him for things that he has done, in this she is objective.�

Li thought the cleric a weak point but held her tongue. She wanted to hear what else he wished to say.
�He is convinced of his own rectitude. You accuse him of criminality but he does not see that way. He would be confused by your accusation.�

�Then he is delusional.�

�Maybe he is. Consider a tradition that goes back before what many call the Start of Time. Before the Breaking of the Hand. A distinction between evil and wicked.�

�There is a distinction?�

The vicar took a sip of his tea. �For many thinkers, yes. Someone who is evil can do terrible things but believe they are actually doing good. Someone who is wicked is someone who does terrible things, knowing they are doing wrong.�

She had never heard such a distinction before. But it sounded like it depended on one�s perspective. Or as Buino would say, splitting hairs.

�For me, that is the crux of the discussion,� Saar continued. �You see the two as one. It comes down to the question whether someone like Magnus or Edlym was doing wrong and just did it anyway. Or did they actually think they were doing good despite the horrific act.�

�Edlym beat Ughaine to death! Also killing their child.�

�Yet he professes, to this day, his love for her.�

�And you believe him?� The question came out as a strangled scream.

�Yes.�

Li�s eyes grew wide. She could not believe the naivety. When the vicar�s smile changed, her shock grew.

�I know of Edlym�s father. He is a fishmonger with a stall in Cobh. He is a hard man who has had a hard life. He is an ardent follower of D�a.� He pointed toward his desk, at a large leather bound tome.

�One of the proverbs in our Canons says he who spares the rod, spoils the child.�

�But does not that speak of something like a slap or a spanking?�

�For you, yes. For others, a heavier hand is required.�

�Edlym learned from his father, Tuag. Tuag learnt from his father. Edlym believes Tuag loves him. What he did was because of love. Which then continued to Ughaine. As he saw with his mother and father.�

�So he is just a product of his family?�

�Yes. But that is one piece of the puzzle that is important. Ughaine was a strong and wilful young lass.�

�What of it?�

�She was young. She did what many her age are doing. I found out that Ughaine like to party. She had many friends, quite a few who were male. Edlym was quite unhappy by some of her actions. I have been told that many of their arguments or fights were because of being out late and her drinking.�

�Oh.� Li did not know how to process what the vicar was telling her. Her perception of the situation was thrown askew.

�It is simple to draw conclusions with little information. Quickly judge with our morals and be outraged. Rush to judgement.

�We are guilty of this. And we should be better.� Saar pounded his index finger against his chest. �The Canons exhort that we are not to judge. If you judge, then you will be judged. In the end, it is only for God to judge. Not us.�

Li closed her eyes, deciding to express what was on her mind. �I don�t understand why are you telling me this.�

�I do go off on different trails, my dear. I apologize. I suppose it would have been simpler to have said I don�t have a simple answer to the question you posed.�

�I see.�

�I know many see my faith professing to have all the answers. If you speak to God, you will receive answers. Pray for something and you will receive.� A hint of disgust came to the pastor�s voice.

�You will be cured of an incurable disease. You will receive a bag of gold. Someone who hates you will love you. This will come to pass, if you believe. Really believe. Of course, the other side is we are but jellyfish.�

�Jellyfish?�

�Yes.�

�Why?�

�Jellyfish cannot move by themselves. They can go up and down in the water but cannot propel themselves to a destination. They go where the current takes them.

�There are some who believe that we should be the same. Put ourselves in God�s current. He has a plan and we should totally submit to what God has planned. Personal ambitions are wicked. It goes against the will of God. So place all you trust and hope into God and just let the current take you to your destination. One side makes God our lap dog, the other a puppeteer.�

Li wiggled uncomfortably in her chair. She took a sip of her cold tea. Part of her was fascinated by what the vicar spoke of. She knew so little of the Followers of D�a. Yet part of her wished to find about her task and leave. She had no idea how to guide the conversation without being rude.

Saar rose from the table. He made his way to his bookcase. He waved his hand about the many books.
�There are different voices in my faith. Some wish to make people believe that once you accept D�a as your saviour, nothing terrible will happen to you. And if it does, then it is because your faith was not strong enough. Or it is but a test.�

�And you do not believe this?�

�I feel there are too many in my faith and others that diminish God and His glory.� He walked back to the table. �I am a teacher, a guide. As the druids of An�il. Be it God, the Maker, the Creator or V�a. He does not answer to us. But we must answer to him.�

�And you are telling me this because?�

�I speak of this because of the pain you feel. The confusion that confounds you. Even though you asked a simple question, it points to a complex problem. I know I repeat myself but I do not have simple platitudes to explain what is going on. Or why people are as they are. D�a spoke that our journey would not be easy. As you are seeing.�

�So why go on?�

�You cannot give up hope.�

Li pulled back. �After what you told me of Ughaine, how could you expect me to be hopeful? How can you stay hopeful?�

A broad smile came to the vicar�s face. �There are reasons for things to happen. Yet we cannot pierce the infinite. I agonized over what happened to her. But two days later, I saw some seed that were sown because of her.�

�What happened?�

�The sun had set, a new day started. I was here, working on a sermon. To my surprise there was a rapping at the door. I recognized Aeda�s hand and knew she would not interrupt my work unless it was important.

�As she came in, I was even more surprised to see the look on her face. She was smiling, almost beaming. In an excited voice, she told me seven women were in the cathedral seeking sanctuary. Without taking a breath, she explained they had left their husbands. Fleeing from abuse.

�When I went out there, I saw it was not just seven women. They had brought their children. In total I had thirty-five asking for sanctuary. Which I gave then and am still providing.�

�Still providing?�

Saar made his way back to his desk. He picked up a few sheaves of parchment. �I had to ask Ochall for some protection.�

Li recognized the name of the new Minister of Security. He had come into office because of a scandal that rocked the security force. It had been revealed that the previous minister and some of his people had accepted bribes from different guilds operating in D�n Su�bhn� and Cobh. The current gossip in the court have Ochall six turns.

�Some of the husbands do not respect the tenets of sanctuary. They have tried to enter the cathedral and take their wives back. On a few occasions I have been threatened on the streets.�

�Oh my!�

�I tell you this because those women and children are here now if it had not been for Ughaine. So out of something ugly and violent, some good has come. And that keeps my hope alive.�

�So you see this as your god�s plan?�

�I have no idea,� he shrugged. �I believe we are free to do as we wish. My God wishes only the best for all in the world. Even those who are non-believers like yourself.�

Li was shocked.

�I am not leather-bound as some of my brethren. I know there are many who say if you do not believe in D�a and His words, you will be forever damned. I do not accept that.�

A memory came to her. She had met a follower some turns earlier, preaching in the main marketplace. The rhetoric echoed in her mind. The vicar returned to his desk.

�But is it not true that your Canons say that the only way to your god is through D�a?�

�Yes there is a line that says that.� Saar admitted. �But does one line condemn all those who do not know D�a to eternal damnation? We are all His children, are we not? Personally, I do not believe that.
�Before I was positioned here, I travelled about the world. I spoke to many of different beliefs. I saw miraculous things that cannot be explained by our sciences.�

He picked up a thick book. �In here are all the words that comprise what we call the Canons. What has formed, shaped and illuminated my faith for over nine hundred cycles.�

The Canons were put down. In quick succession, he picked up different slimmer tomes, waving them toward Li.

�And these are words that are said to be inspired by the Breath. Interpretations and arguments. All form the current system I am part of.� He let the last book fall to his desk.

�Yet they are but words. An incomplete method we are stuck with that cannot explain the infinite. Views that are tempered by the writer and the time. An attempt to explain something we can never fully explain. Speak what is unspeakable.�

Li�s jaw dropped. The vicar chuckled, looking at her. �Yes, I am willing to speak the unspeakable heresy. We do not have the whole truth. And never will.�

All she could do was stare. The admission riveted her.

�I do believe D�a is the son of God. During the turmoil that wracked R� with the Breaking of the Hand, He sent Himself to set things right. D�a is our saviour, an arrow to the truth.

�But we are mere mortals. With a limited capacity. No matter how intelligent you may be, you cannot pierce all the veils of what is God.

�Yet He speaks to us in different ways, on different levels. Always trying to point to the truth, as we will understand. Thus I believe An�il is a valid expression of God�s truth. Incomplete but just one of the many prisms that look inward to the infinite. Just another attempt to express what God wants us to hear and see.�

�But does not that go against the basic tenets of your faith?�

�For me, no. For the Magisterium, yes. I am afraid we have built a system where a few dictate to the many on how to think and live.�

Li�s thoughts turned to what she had learned from A�fe. Was An�il any different?

�Yet I am but an aging man that many wish to dismiss. I do believe, though, something can flower from this. With my faith and others like An�il, I believe we can bridge the schisms that span the different views of the same truth.� He paused. �Yet I may never live to see that.�

�Pardon?�

Vicar Saar picked up a piece of vellum. �I have been summoned to Larn�. To Aeron, to speak before the Magisterium. There are some who vehemently disagree with my beliefs. So I am to go and defend them.�

He let the summons flutter to his desk. �But I have tested your patience, my child. You did not come here to have cold tea and discussions of such things. Let alone my problems. You wish to know what plans A�fe and I have wrought.�

�Ah ... yes.�

�From what I understand, you believe Tuaim Inbhir is the key to unlocking the mystery of S�danta.�
�Yes, I do. He had a stall there but I believe he lived a day�s ride or so from there.�

�And A�fe told me you believe he had a wife and son.�

�I do.�

�She told me of your belief why the druids could not gather any details of his time there. And I agree with you. Be it where I come from or here, country folk can be secretive from prying questions.�
Li nodded. �It is our way to be suspicious of outsiders. That is why I cannot come in with any taint of the court. Especially a hint of the Order.�

�It saddens me that suspicion guides so many people,� Saar sighed. �Mayhap one day that will change. But we must focus on today, not the hope in the future.

�When A�fe told me of your need, I spoke with Pastor Haydn. He ministers the small flock in Tuaim Inbhir. And then God smiled on your mission.�

Before Li could say something, he raised his hand. �I am joking. But right now, there is a young woman, B�cuma, who had just given birth. Her husband died three turns ago and she has no family about. She has a cot outside town and is of need of assistance. When I told Haydn, he praised God for answering his prayers.�

Saar picked up a parchment and brought it to her. It had a portrait for a young woman. Her long hair flowed about her shoulders. The artist captured a glint in her eyes.

�B�cuma is a lovely woman from what Haydn says. Yet the demands of the spring is hindering those of his flock from giving her the help she properly needs. So you will go and aid her.�

�Will they know of me?�

�They already do. I told them of you. They know all about you.�

�What?�

The vicar waved a hand in dismissal. �They know of your plight here, not your mission. What has happened. A�fe thought it would be prudent to let the truth of your past be known. Especially the problems with the head druid.�

Li grimaced.

�I agree this will put you in a good stead with many of those of the area. And explain why you would be willing to leave the comforts of D�n Su�bhn� for a small place like Tuaim Inbhir.�

�I did not think about that.�

�A�fe is quite thorough. I see her being head druid in time. Oh ...� The vicar put his index finger to his lips. �Curcog spoke to her sister about you.�

�She has?�

�I hear she is quite taken by you. And thinks you need help.� He rolled his eyes. �Which means the whole family will be the same.�

�You know of them?�

A hearty laugh filled the room. �If it is not Curcog, it is Enid looking out for me. They like me, in spite of being a vicar here. They feel one day, I will see the truth.�

�I can see that,� Li laughed. She paused, collecting her thought. �I�ll start to organize my departure. That will give you time to organize everything.�

Saar�s face grew serious. �It has all been organized. You are to leave within the next day or so.�

�What?� Li sat, ramrod in her chair.

�A�fe told me this was of utmost urgency. Things are brewing the court. Some of it pertains to the court jester ...� He paused. �Sorry, the court druid. She feels it is best for you to leave as quickly as possible.�

A knot grew in her stomach. Things were moving too fast. She had planned to leave in a fortnight or so. Not within a day or two. Her head swam with worry.

Save her friends, nothing was holding her back. She could leave at any time. But she wanted to leave on her terms. The unfolding of the events, rushing her away from D�n Su�bhn� was overwhelming. It felt as if she was being pushed toward Tuaim Inbhir. Manipulated to leave.

�Manipulated?� The vicar looked at her quizzically.

Li didn�t realize she had spoke out loud. Sheepishly, she looked away.

�You are feeling overwhelmed with the course of events, aren�t you?�

�Yes.�

�You feel like a peg in a game or a puppet on a string?�

�Yes.�

Saar came to her side, putting his hand on her shoulder.

�Have hope, my child. Forgive a man whose life is speaking sermons but let me share with you. God does not play puppet master. I do not believe in predestiny. My God does not have our lives planned from cradle to grave.

�God gives us life. He shows us how to use it. And then lets us to carry it out. As we choose. That is why we have free will.

�But He never abandons us. As we walk through our journey, He constantly walks beside us. He speaks to us, knowing what is best for us. But it is up to us to listen to what He says. And I know His heart breaks when we do not listen.

�I have no idea where the path you are is going to lead. I am not an oracle or prophet. And have no wish to be one. Yet I see the goodness in you. And see it gathering about you.

�God, as I see Him, is not playing games with you. He is not running your life. He is there to guide you, help you when you need it. Give you strength through the dark times. Give you wisdom to make the right choice.�

�How can I be sure?�

�Look into your heart. Listen to what it says. That is how God speaks to you, I believe. The ones that want to subvert, taint God�s will work through the mind. The Fallen One uses logic. Trust your heart.�

Saar sighed. �I will pray for you. Keep you in my thoughts as you venture out from here. And there will be some of my flock that will join me.�

�And that will aid me?�

�Yes. If not through my God, then through yourself.�

�Pardon?�

�There are those who wish you well in your journey. They wish you to succeed. Does not that give you a sense of hope?�

�I ... I suppose it does.�

�Focus on that, my ... Li. You are not alone. Have hope.� Saar paused. �I would say with my prattling I have taken up too much of your time. You have much to do.�

�But I have so little time to prepare. And even if I was ready, how I am to get there? I have no details.�
�Yes, yes, I know. I was getting of that. Transport has been arranged. One of my parishioners, Hydwn will guide you to Tuaim Inbhir. I will have a letter of introduction by the morrow. A�fe suggests you travel light, so any large belongings you wish to bring will be sent separately.�

�Everything has been planned.�

�A�fe and I had several long talks. Because of her sense of urgency, I was able to rally some of my flock. We can be mobilized as early as tomorrow.�

Li felt light-headed. Things were moving too fast. She needed to focus.

�But I need to speak with A�fe, don�t I?�

�She told me she would send Kynan with the details you need, including the letter of recommendation. She said it would be prudent, with the current atmosphere in the court that she is not seen with you. I will send word to her once you have safely left.�

�I don�t have much of a choice, it seems.�

�You always do,� the vicar�s grip tightened. �We are thinking only the best for you. There is so much happening in the court that you know nothing of. Politics you do not wish to get involved in.�

She took a deep breath. There was little she could do but follow their advice. Slowly she rose.
�Let A�fe know I will be leaving day after tomorrow. I will need a day to prepare.�

�I understand. I will have Hydwn come to you as the new day starts.� Vicar Saar stared deeply in her eyes. �And my child, listen to him. He is wise not just of the city but of the land. He will guide you safely to your new home.�

With a heavy heart, Li started to the door. She had to clear her mind, sort what had happened. Prepare for her departure. At the door, she stopped.

�When I return, I would like to speak with you some more.�

A broad smile came to the vicar�s face. �I would like that.�

Author's Note

Being a major revision of the first draft, I am looking for everything - grammar, POV problems, plotting issues. This is new material, that is draft 0. And please note, spelling is Canadian not American so don't point the differences. Hit me with your best shot!

Reviews

[Nick Anthony]

Ok...you will see a couple jarring comments about pace and interweaving changing images, scenes within a scene. They are just comments to deal with pacing IMHO. The are woven wonderfully, but sometimes it is hard for us writers to know when to stop with the side trips. ITs your call, I still like the secondary scenes because they led to an overall understanding for Li...somewhat, but the pace slowed the progression of the story at this point. You'll see why in the review. As always...take what works and toss the rest on the refuge heap to be burned upon the first cold night past the harvest.

Now...onto the show....


1...The Refuge of the Redeemer rose from a small plaza just off Heilyn. Li stared at the imposing stone cathedral; she had never seen it up close. She had seen its spires from the main market place or from the one of the towers of the castle. This was the first time she saw the actual building.

Ok..opening paragraph and I get the sense that you are beating me over the head to make sure I understand that she has never seen this cathedral up close. I think the first sentence says it all.

2...As she cross the plaza, Li saw the large wooden doors were open. Wide stone stairs lead up to the doors.

First, as she cross the plaza, who is telling me this? How about, Crossing the plaza, she... "As" is really a very passive piece of grammar in fictional writing and should be avoided where possible, especially to start a sentence. IMHO.

Second...Motivation and reaction. You note she saw the doors first, but is this true? Reason I ask is you go on to point out the tone stairs leading to the door, so would this not have been what lead her to saw the doors. Also, I am not a big fan of the word saw. Why? She saw the doors...as in she sawed the doors in half, with a chain saw? I know...picky...picky...picky. As used, saw is correct, but I think with your skill and vocabulary, you could come up with something more descriptive of her first view.

Alll in all, I had to rewrite, I might try for something like...

Crossing the plaza, Li's vision was drawn to the wide stone stairs leading up to the oak doors - invitingly opened wide.

Or something like that in your own wonderful voice.

3..."You are five minutes late," the woman scolded.

A bit of transitional clairity needed I think. First, end of previous chapter did not hint Li would go to this cathederal or make an appointment with the vicar. So, here we have someone telling Li she is late. Your next paragraph show her anger, at being chastised, but no puzzlement. As a reader, I am assuming this appointment was previously made since the last chapter, but the time laspe is unknown to me at this point. And if the appointment had been made and she is indeed late, how about some excuse other than just saying I am sorry. Perhaps noting she had been detained at the palace. Hmmm, remember...you do not like the reader assuming, so spell it out. lol. Wink-wink.

4..."Will you will be fine?" Aeda asked, concerned.

Should this read...Will you be fine? I think you got one to many will's. I had to read it several times to see if I was missing something.

5..."People do not know how difficult it is for some people."

I am noticing a pattern in your writing these past couple of chapters of repeating or redundancy. In this case...People starts and end the sentence. I know what you are trying to say, but think you are rushing the draft and forgetting the are other ways without repeating. IE...Most citizens do not how how difficult it is for some, especially if they have no interaction with them. changing people to citizens now gives them a classification...noting "some" has the effect of not lingering on the people issue and the sentence then moves right inot the reason for people not noticing others,...no interaction. I think.

6...Li followed her to the door. It opened to a large room, rich with wooden shelves and scribe benches. Several worn leather armchairs sat by long stain glass windows. Two monks were at work.

Good - quick visuals except for the last sentence. Two monks were at work...where, at the scribe benches or in the leather armchairs by the windows, or some where else? A little more detail here please.

7...Our main scriptorium is outside Tuaim Inbhir.

Hmmm, you sly little devil...a clue perhaps. Tuaim Inbhir seems to come up alot.

8...Each colourfully depicted different people.

Hmmm, people or scene's. Again, this may be a personal reading preference, but the term people is too generic. If Li is looking at these windows, images, does she not see something to point out who these people might me...past druids, saints, prophets, head priest, something? Give the readers a hint so I don't see my X wife in the picture, as she too is a people, as are you, I and Leah. See the point.

9..."I do hope Aeda was not to annoying."

It think its, too annoying. I think.

10...Li was taken aback by the vicar's honesty.

Ok...I am discerning a pattern here. Li is constantly meeting people who openly discuss things with her that she has preconditioned thoughts about and she is usually surprised at their openess or reverse thoughts of what she would have thought. With the exception of the one druid who opposes her and she opposes, no one has yet to make threats, or threat he as she has become accustomed to. I can accept that she is being manipulated, but are there no counter points to all of this. I will have to wait and see how wrong or right I am. (Same with with Nathin...and strangers trusting him...he has that aura about him. lol.)

11...Li did not know what to say. She had come to find out the details of what she would be doing in Tuaim Inbhir, not become involved in discussions on the vicar's religion. Yet she was curious.

Ok...has Li been summoned, or did she request a reassignment? Unclear still. Also, how much time has passed since the last chapter. The reason I bring this up, is if she was summoned, at a time when she was already thinking about leaving...then this is more than coinsidence and it could be the next day or day after. But if she has requested a reassignment, did does she work for the church? And even if not, all this will take time to go through the proper channels. Explaining the channels would be boring, but a few thoughts by Li would help to both understand the time passage since looking in the mirror and how her assignment came about. Just a continuation of thoughts on this. I now return you by my regular style of thrashing about...

12...Her heart started to pound, emotion welled in her.

telling me emotion welled in her is not enough, for there are any number of emotions I can imagine. Remember...never assume the reader assumes what you mean...put into the image of what emotion is welling in her.

13...Li stared at the spot. Her head grew light. A gray mist filmed her eyes. Her stomach roiled; bile rose up her throat. What is happening? The mists cleared. A light blue divan formed before her. Stretched out on it was a young girl, her chestnut hair matted against the fabric.

You weaves sub stories within your scenes very well, and I normally like the interuption of the forward progress of the story. But this is a case where I have to ask, is this one necessary? Li came to find answer and the chapter is slugging along on different tangents when the readers are waiting to find out what comes next. I the writer understand what you are doing, but as a reader, I want to move on to the plot and what Li came here for. Its a delicate balance we weave on knowing what is too much and what is too little. If anything, I would suggest that once you finish, depending on word count, then going back and cutting anything that slows the forward progression of the story. Plots are a dime a dozen, and subplots even less. Keep the readers on track and you keep them on edge and turning pages. May not be the best literary advice I can give, but from a commercial selling stand point, its priceless.

14..."Can you sat that with certainty?"

Ok... can you sit that with certainty? or can yo say that with certainty. Either I think would be better than sat, which I believe to be a typo.

15...You wish to know what plans A�fe and I have wrought."

Two thirds of the chapter have passed before I finally find out that Aife is the one who set up this meeting and appointment. I can accept, but feel the reader would be better served if this information were up front and Li's thoughts during the various lectures were on getting to the point. Yes...lectures, though beautifully woven. I found myself skimming, but this may be a personal reading habit, choice thing and not a comment on skill or craft.

16..."I have no idea where the path you are is going to lead. Leads, I think. Or perhaps reword the whole sentence to ... I have no idea where the path you follow will lead.

17..."When I return, I would like to speak with you some more."

I like this line...shows confidence by Li that she will return. The Vicars smile assures the reader he feels this as well...that she will return, and a better person. IMHO.