DL - Fýren Méithe

First chapter of the initial section of A House Fractured entitled Darkness Looming.

�I have given you all I can!� Taliesin bolted from his overstuffed red leather chair, dropping a large black leather bound tome on a battered oak table between them. The impact caused the Klaz crystal water pitcher and two goblets to shake. �You ask too much.�

Before Esterl could explain, her old friend stalked away, the hem of his austere black robe hissing along the ancient stone floor. Esterl chided herself; her eagerness put her goal in peril. The link between the two grew faint.

Taliesin made his way to a rocky edge. She knew what he was doing. Before him was a deep chasm where far below the ealdorf�h, the Blood of the Land, flowed. The red-orange-black magma that coursed about the world, giving life to magick. Esterl saw Taliesin relaxing, opening himself to the power about him.

Taliesin. Esterl jerked about her chair, hearing the call. The name floated through the ether. It danced with the rich red-orange glow bathing F�ren M�ithe. She sat alone, in the overstuffed leather chair, holding a slim tome with spidery script.

Taliesin. The appeal grew stronger. The whispery bid tugged at them. Esterl ran her hand over their austere black robe. Panic grew as she tried to stay Esterl. Yet the summons compelled her.
Taliesin. The whisper called from the edge. Carefully she place the book on the small marble table beside her. Slowly they rose to heed the behest. The air grew thicker as she reached the edge. Vertigo seized them for a moment, as Esterl looked down the massive chasm before them. Far below coursed the viscous ealdorf�h.

Taliesin. Magick grew heavy about them. Drops of perspiration seeped into heavy robe. Deep in the Blood, a faint black fleck formed. It frightened them. Focused on the forming canker, they tried to discern its cause. Close to the speck, the smell of festering flesh filled their noses. The sound of maggots feeding thundered in their ears. Bile rose in their throats.

Her breath slammed out as the link became severed. She gasped for air. The intensity of the memory stunned her. She had to swallow a few times to force away the sensations in her throat. Esterl found a goblet being forced into her hands.

�You should not have been alone.� Taliesin admonished. �You know of the dangers.�

Esterl gulped the water, spilling water onto her bright silk wraps. She emptied the goblet, trying to clear her throat. Sheepishly, she looked up to see anger and concern in Taliesin�s dark eyes.

�Anything for The Eolas?�

�I did not know,� Esterl protested.

�But you could not resist.� The old druid snapped. �I have given you all I can. Don�t ask for more.�

Esterl put the goblet beside the black tome on the table; the reason for her intruding Taliesin�s inner sanctum. The fabled F�ren M�ithe, deep in the roots of Caer Eryri. One of the heady portals that allowed any Chosen to be close to the source; where the invisible vapours of the Blood were in the strongest concentration.

�This is a tale that should not be lost.�

�Mayhap that would be for the best.� Taliesin walked to the stone-hewn shelves behind Esterl, filled with tomes. �Aillil�s tale is not an epic.�

�How can you say that?� Frustration grew in Esterl. �The consequences were far reaching. From the seeds that were sown over five hundred cycles ago, changes moved around R�.�

�If you say so.� Taliesin shrugged. �Yet the lay is not epic.�

�Epic tales are all too often farces, old friend. And you know that. Do you have any in front of you?�

�No.�

�Why is it that so many take places in oppressive regimes? The societies are rigid, strong hierarchies. And stratified? What is so appealing about that?�

�For some, they live in a similar world and seek hope of change. For others, they view the past with nostalgia. Wanting control and order.� Taliesin paused as Esterl rose from her chair. �Wasn�t that time also fraught with hierarchies?�

Her bright jade and aquamarine silk wraps shifted as she approached Taliesin, exposing part of her white bosom. �Yet that was exposed while he was at the Caer. What I speak of is different.

�That is not my point. They use age old bromides. Stale recipes. On one side we have a deposed prince, chosen to lead a quest. Or worse, an ordinary farm boy who is really of special descent yet knows not of it. On the other side is a great evil which is rising again. All part of a prophecy or foretelling that cannot be stopped.�

Taliesin reached up and pulled out a small book.

�Along the way,� Esterl pressed, �there will be who may or may not hinder the hero. Of course, we must have a wizard, druid, magick-user to guide our hero. Who has to disappear at a critical point to allow our hero to mature on his own.

�Lest us not forget this will lead to the final confrontation with the great evil that threatens the land. The result is once the evil is defeated, peace will come to the land. The hero becomes a benevolent ruler and marries one of his companions. Everyone, save the dark lord and his minions, live happily every after.�

�That is what people want. What they read.� Taliesin opened the green leathered book.

�Phah!� Esterl waved her arm about, causing more of her wraps to shift. �That is what they are told they want.�

Taliesin flipped through the pages of his book. �Yet what you described echoes Aillil�s story. You experienced the call. The prophecy of danger to the Blood. A great evil did threaten the land which was defeated by Aillil. I would say ...�

�Do not try to relegate this to the popular trash,� Esterl snapped. �Aillil was not deposed. He was fostered in the Caer because of perceived threat to the House Su�bhn�, manufactured as it was. And as to a wise guide, he did not have that. He had a man who was headstrong, opinionated. And all too often just plain cantankerous.�

�Oh really?� Taliesin snarled. He stopped flipping pages.

�I know enough of that time. I met some of those who are part of the tale. I�ve seen their faces, their pain. That is why their stories must be told.� Esterl reached out, gently touching Taliesin�s cheek. �I just wish to join your knowledge with mine to make things complete.�

The old druid moved away, his dark eyes blank. �One can never have the complete story, Esterl.�

�Yet it should be as complete as possible. Too many voices demand to be heard. That is why I am always chasing time.�

�The all important Eolas.� Taliesin sighed. �The living history of R�. Your obsession, your reason for being.�

�It is important and you know why. Too many lays are not told and should be.�

�And it is paramount. Nothing else matters.� Taliesin sat down in his chair.

Esterl did not know how to answer. When she looked at Taliesin, she saw an ancient, battered tome. A cracked leather cover hiding flaking parchment. The binding holding the pages together was brittle, close to snapping.

Unlike her, he was not immortal. The gift or curse of longevity given to him by the ealdorf�h stayed normal aging, but in time he could not continue. Her old friend�s end time had started.

Which made her need more urgent. Esterl knew Taliesin had taken on a pupil to take his place; the Golden Cycle had begun. The same had happened to him over five hundred cycles ago. Nineteen years and a day of learning and journeying, to shed who they were so they could assume the mantle of being Taliesin.

�... just another source of information.� Taliesin�s voice broke through her thoughts.

Flustered, Esterl made her way to her chair. �How can you make this sound so mercenary?�

�Am I wrong? Do you realize what I went through to produce this?� He pointed to the large black tome.

�Of course I do.� Esterl said softly. �I am not without feelings, you know that. But I want to record history, properly and concisely. It is never easy for myself and those involved.�

�'I do not pursue historical knowledge for its own sake',� Taliesin read from the book. �'That is the error I see in modern historical scholarship. For me, the current approach undercuts the joy and pain of the present. This is because it makes the present appear to be just another episode in a long series of episodes. It does not allow us to see that history is but a tapestry being weaved. Each weave, each thread, every knot is of import.' Not much has changed over nine hundred cycles.�

Esterl shook her head. �I do not agree with you. Think of Aillil and those involved, especially Br�n. It was my writings and those like Den Yeah Liu to N�ir that gave the grounding many would not have. The past gave them knowledge and strength to confront the present. And forge the future.�

�And what good has that wrought!� Bitterness and anger sliced through the air. �I�ve seen the fruits of our labour. There are many times I wonder if it was worth the effort. The deaths, the pain.Was it worth it?�

Gently Esterl put her hand onto Taliesin�s. Her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmered in the glow about them. �I understand how you feel. It is not natural to live past events you were involved in starting. If you have lived a normal life, you would have died a happy and satisfied man.�

�Yes, mayhap I would have.� Taliesin acknowledged. �But the point is moot. So much now has been perverted. Changed. Look about you! The dreams we had are now rotting.�

�That happens, old friend. But look beyond. The world is larger than this small island.�

�I know that!�

�You�ve seen more than five hundred cycles. Change is inevitable. Did you honestly believe the changes you envisioned then would be permanent?�

�Yes,� Taliesin conceded. �I suppose we were somewhat naive.�

�Which is why it is important to have an accurate account of that time. What did I write after what you read?�

�Pardon?� Taliesin looked at Esterl, puzzled.

Esterl pointed to the book he held. �I continued. 'History also exhibits the creative ability of the Chosen. Be it elf, human, dwarf or dolphin, there is a reason why we are called the Chosen of R�. All else, be it dragon, faerie, demon or unicorn, they are but created elements of the landscape we call R�.

�'The Chosen were created by the Maker of All, and we should be aware of the vast sweep of the historical events that envelop us. Yet we must not be lulled by the subtle words of some voices that our present actions are too feeble to change the past we have inherited from others.'� Esterl paused.

�I honestly believe this is one of those tales that show the fallacy that we are too feeble to change what is happening. Be it here or elsewhere, people will read this. And mayhap give them some hope.�

Taliesin closed the book. Carefully he placed in onto the table.

�What you seek may fill over a thousand pages of parchment. You have the scribes with the patience and time?� Taliesin raised an eyebrow. �That says nothing of the patience you will be demanding of the reader.�

Esterl rubbed her brow. Even as a youth, her friend could be obstinate and sarcastic. Yet she was older and even more stubborn and tenacious. And subtle.

�You know I have no interest or concern of the masses. Let them read the dreary tales of romance or implausible adventures on the vellum coming from those like Osca al�Narin. Those are not the readers I seek. My readers are those who see the adventures in the people who make the tale.�

�Then it is good we are not in your tale. What a tedious way to start a lay!�

Esterl shook her head. �My readers are willing to take the time. Take the chance. They are those who cry when someone dies for no reason, stolen by chance. They will cheer when someone finally stands up for what they believe in, no matter how small the victory. Like Eiryn or Br�n.�

Tears filled Taliesin�s eyes. �You ask too much. Too much.�

�Each weave, each thread, every knot is of import.� Esterl reiterated. �There are so many threads involved in this tapestry. Some like Graymalkin, are from my youth. Then there is Pyrais. This weave almost covers a millennium of cycles.

Taliesin grimaced in pain for a moment. Esterl could sense a faint ache ripple through his aged body. She knew he was not able to purge the pains that were now haunting him. He drew on some magick to give him succour.

�Ah, yes, the neverending story.�

�Nothing exists in isolation. And there are some of us that become caught up in a large lay. Which began before they were involved and continues after.�

�The neverending story. The Web of Life. The tangled threads.�

�Taliesin!� She snarled. �You know I don�t like that term!�

A sparkle came to Taliesin�s eyes. Esterl took a deep breath to control her sudden outburst. She had always hated the vulgar slang used to denigrate a tapestry.

The old druid pointed to the black tome. �I have given you what you asked for. I am sorry if you are not pleased with my paltry attempt at storytelling.�

�This gives me a foundation. Yet it is just a dry recitation of facts. You were there when Einion died. Let the people know of the treachery. What of the pains Br�n went through to become the elf he became? These are stories that need to be told. Does Eiryn deserve to be just a footnote of history?�

Taliesin looked away. Esterl knew she was asking her friend to open old wounds. Yet she needed access to his memories. She hoped her gambit for him to open himself up would finally succeed.

�The memories are faint,� Taliesin�s voice was muted.

�They are not.� Esterl pressed. �I know for you, as your predecessors. Be it Taliesin or Myrddin, you are all the same. You have the memories. You have access to them, no matter how old. It is your way.�

Esterl took a deep breath, ready to make her move. �All I ask is a confirmation.�

�Pardon?� Taliesin looked back.

�While I was on Llangeinwen, when Aillil was the captive of the Blood and Stone, I met Li.�

The old druid blanched. �What? That is impossible. She was not able to manifest until some time after Aillil returned to Llangeinwen.�

�I am some what unique,� Esterl rebuked, �because of he who is my father.�

�He does have a name,� Taliesin remarked.

Esterl bolted from her chair. Her multi-layered silk wraps chaotically shifted about her body. Anger shattered the peace that kept her focused. It grew as a faint smile came to Taliesin�s face. She was exposed to the tug of the ealdorf�h.

Tendrils of power sensually caressed her being. Drink from the fount. The call came from the edge. Drink. A soft moan exuded from her. A red-orange haze flitted about the edge of her vision. Slowly she rose to embrace her mistress, to become one with the Blood.

A black object, from the corner of her eye, marred the haze. A faint plea drew her attention to the table. A spectral image of a young woman with long black hair and hazel eyes pleaded to her. Only you can see me. It has been cycles. I am lost. Please help me! Help Aillil!

�Li.� The name oozed out of Esterl�s mouth. Her resolve grew, pushing away the call. Her body, spirit and mind became one again. The anger she had to Taliesin for his attempt at diverting her evaporated.

�You will not let this go?� Taliesin asked, resigned.

�All I ask is you share this memory. Validate it.�

�That is all you ask?�

�At the moment, yes.� His furrowed brow told her Taliesin did not believe her.

�She is one of the small threads that make up the tapestry, Taliesin. Are you saying what she experienced is not worthy of telling?�

�Of course not!� Taliesin snapped. He looked away, his jaw clenched. Esterl pulled up her wraps, covering her breasts, even though she knew Taliesin did not care. Getting the full story would be difficult and long. She just needed patience and control. Taliesin knew her too well and would try to push her again. She just had to be ready.

�How did you meet her?� The words were clipped.

�Mong�n. He had made three tapestries of her because of Aillil.�

Esterl could see Taliesin was stunned. �I never saw them.�

�They were part of a set of tapestries he gave to Midh�r before he died. I saw them when we had tea. Later, I was in D�n Su�bhn� and saw her in the corridors. And knew.�

�She found her release. It is now history.�

�Unstated and undocumented. Does not her voice deserve to be spoken?�

Taliesin turned back to her. �I will grant this to you.� Each word was measured. �I will give you no more.�

�And I do not ask for more.� A sense of victory filled Esterl. The first step was being taken. The initial chapter would be forth coming. The rest would take time and cajoling. Esterl put out her hand, her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmering. Taliesin accepted it.

�It was 949. When King S�danta was mad and the first hint of danger was revealed.�

Author's Note

Being a major revision of the first draft, I am looking for everything - grammar, POV problems, plotting issues. Please note, spelling is Canadian not American so don't point the differences. Hit me with your best shot!

Reviews

[Nick Anthony]

Loekie,

Compared to the orginal I remember, this one does read quicker and smoother. Don't let the nit piks below fool you. But I also see that as part of a problem, in that you rushed in a few places and drifted at times out of your active voice. While the orginal drug on, beautifully I might add, this one sort of rushes to get to the dialogue where your strength in this chapter is born. Why, because it shows the story beautifully and the pain each are going through. It challenges the read out of the norm, which is what first attracted me to this storyline to start with as you know. As to the nit piks, some may be personal reading habits or preferences. Pick what you need my friend and ignore the rest.

1..."I have given you all I can!" Taliesin bolted from his overstuffed red leather chair, dropping a large black leather bound tome on a battered oak table between them. The impact caused the Klaz crystal water pitcher and two goblets to shake. "You ask too much."

Opening paragraph, very vivid, very active. But it felt slightly awkward with the verbage and all the colors With the chair, overstuffed I believe is needed and red does give a visual, but leather is used here and then again with the large black leather bound tome, so leather become redundant in one or the others and I think you need it with the tome. And battered oak table...battered could show its old, or abused, but I the reader am not sure which? Klaz, I am not sure if that is a make, style, or color. Crystal could be clear, but it could also be amber, red, bla bla bla. Just a minor nit pik and perhaps my own subconscious preferences coming into play.

2... Taliesin. The whisper called from the edge. Carefully she place the book on the small marble table beside her. Slowly they rose to heed the behest. The air grew thicker as she reached the edge. Vertigo seized them for a moment, as Esterl looked down the massive chasm before them. Far below coursed the viscous ealdorf�h.

I had to go back serveral times because of the...slowly they rose to heed the behest. Ok...bare with me,
A... Taliesin made his way to a rocky edge.
B... She sat alone, in the overstuffed leather chair,
C... The whispery bid tugged at them.
D... Panic grew as she tried to stay Esterl.
E... Yet the summons compelled her.
F... Slowly they rose to heed the behest.
G... Vertigo seized them for a moment

Ok...A shows Taliesin standing alone. B...shows Estrele alone. C...I understood the tug, nor problem lumping both together from Estrele's POV. D...How, its not clear, a willed thought, hand signal, knowing look. But then his back is to her I presume so any physical action short of restraining him he would not see. E...again a single reference. F...What...they rose to heed the behest. Do you mean physically or in spirit, in thought. G...A slight slippage here to passiveness, as if you are rushing. How does Estrele know Vertigo is seizing Taliesin? Did he waver, stumble? She is not in his head or is she because of D.

3...The sound of maggots feeding thundered in their ears.

Interesting in that you give a sense of hearing, Maggots feeding, but I really can not picture the sound from all the references I have. I like the image, but what is the sound?

4...Her breath slammed out as the link became severed

Action/reaction...did she stumble if the action was that severe?

5...She had to swallow a few times to force away the sensations in her throat.

She had to swallow - is telling. She swallowed several time, forcing away... is more showy. I think. Also...what sensations are in her throat. Swallowing bile I think would make the throat raw, so perhaps forcing away the rawness in her throat. Or some other.

6...Esterl gulped the water, spilling water onto her bright silk wraps

Water, redundant so close togehter. Esterl gulped the water quickly, spilling almost as much of the precious liquid onto her bright silk wraps as she took in.

7...Her bright jade and aquamarine silk wraps shifted as she approached Taliesin, exposing part of her white bosom. "Yet that was exposed while he was at the Caer. What I speak of is different.

Hmmm that was exposed while...running so close to exposing part of her white bosom... I had to do a double take to see what was exposed where. The second I would change, perhaps to revealed.

8...Taliesin turned back to her. "I will grant this to you." Each word was measured. "I will give you no more."

I will grant this to you. This sound incomplete...perhaps, I will grant you this one last request. Stronger?

Ok, now that I have refreshed myself on the appetizer, I am ready for the main course.
Nick.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Can't elaborate much more than what has been said below...their accounts are detailed...I did edit areas for you to consider:

I have given you, all I can! Taliesin bolted from his overstuffed red leather chair, dropping a large black rawhide bound tome on a battered oak table between them. The impact caused the Klaz crystal water pitcher and two goblets to shake. You ask too much.

Before Esterl could explain, her old friend stalked away, the hem of his austere black robe hissing along the ancient stone floor. Esterl chided herself; her eagerness put her goal in peril. The link between the two grew faint.

Taliesin made his way to a rocky edge. She knew what he was doing. Before him was a deep chasm where far below the ealdorfh, the Blood of the Land, flowed. The red-orange-black magma that coursed about the world, giving life to magick. Esterl saw Taliesin relaxing, opening himself to the power about him.

Taliesin. Esterl jerked about her chair, hearing the call. The name floated through the ether. It danced with the rich red-orange glow bathing Fren Mithe. She sat alone, in the overstuffed leather chair, holding a slim tome with spidery script.

Taliesin. The appeal grew stronger. The whispery bid tugged at them. Esterl ran her hand over their austere black robe. Panic grew as she tried to stay Esterl. Yet the summons compelled her.
Taliesin. The whisper called from the edge. Carefully she place the book on the small marble table beside her. Slowly they rose to heed the behest. The air grew thicker as she reached the edge. Vertigo seized them for a moment, as Esterl looked down the massive chasm before them. Far below coursed the viscous ealdorfh.

Taliesin. Magick grew heavy about them. Drops of perspiration seeped into heavy robe. Deep in the Blood, a faint black fleck formed. It frightened them. Focused on the forming canker, they tried to discern its cause. Close to the speck, the smell of festering flesh filled their noses. The sound of maggots feeding thundered in their ears. Bile rose in their throats.

Her breath slammed out as the link became severed. She gasped for air. The intensity of the memory stunned her. She had to swallow a few times to force away the sensations in her throat. Esterl found a goblet being forced into her hands.

You should not have been alone. Taliesin admonished. You know of the dangers.

Esterl gulped the water, spilling water onto her bright silk wraps. She emptied the goblet, trying to clear her throat. Sheepishly, she looked up to see anger and concern in Taliesins dark eyes.

Anything for the Eolas?

I did not know, Esterl protested.

But you could not resist. The old druid snapped. I have given you all I can. Don’t ask for more.

Esterl put the goblet beside the black tome on the table; the reason for her intruding Taliesins inner sanctum. The fabled Fren Mithe, deep in the roots of Caer Eryri. One of the heady portals that allowed any Chosen to be close to the source; where the invisible vapours of the Blood were in the strongest concentration.

This is a tale that should not be lost.

Mayhap that would be for the best. Taliesin walked to the stone-hewn shelves behind Esterl, filled with tomes. Aillils tale is not an epic.

How can you say that? Frustration grew in Esterl. The consequences were far reaching. From the seeds that were sown over five hundred cycles ago, changes moved around R.

If you say so. Taliesin shrugged. Yet the lay is not epic.

Epic tales are all too often farces, old friend. And you know that. Do you have any in front of you?

No.

Why is it that so many take places in oppressive regimes? The societies are rigid, strong hierarchies. And stratified? What is so appealing about that?

For some, they live in a similar world and seek hope of change. For others, they view the past with nostalgia. Wanting control and order. Taliesin paused as Esterl rose from her chair. Wasn’t that time also fraught with hierarchies?

Her bright jade and aquamarine silk wraps shifted as she approached Taliesin, exposing part of her white bosom. Yet that was exposed while he was at the Caer. What I speak of is different.

That is not my point. They use age old bromides. Stale recipes. On one side we have a deposed prince, chosen to lead a quest. Or worse, an ordinary farm boy who is really of special descent yet knows not of it. On the other side is a great evil which is rising again. All part of a prophecy or foretelling that cannot be stopped.

Taliesin reached up and pulled out a small book.

Along the way, Esterl pressed, there will be who may or may not hinder the hero. Of course, we must have a wizard, druid, magick-user to guide our hero. Who has to disappear at a critical point to allow our hero to mature on his own?

Lest us not forget this will lead to the final confrontation with the great evil that threatens the land. The result is once the evil is defeated, peace will come to the land. The hero becomes a benevolent ruler and marries one of his companions. Everyone, save the dark lord and his minions, live happily ever after.

That is what people want. What they read. Taliesin opened the green leathered book.

Phah! Esterl waved her arm about, causing more of her wraps to shift. That is what they are told they want.

Taliesin flipped through the pages of his book. Yet what you described echoes Aillils story. You experienced the call. The prophecy of danger to the Blood. A great evil did threaten the land which was defeated by Aillil. I would say ...

Do not try to relegate this to the popular trash, Esterl snapped. Aillil was not deposed. He was fostered in the Caer because of perceived threat to the House Subhn, manufactured as it was. And as to a wise guide, he did not have that. He had a man who was headstrong, opinionated. And all too often just plain cantankerous.

Oh really? Taliesin snarled. He stopped flipping pages.

I know enough of that time. I met some of those who are part of the tale. I’ve seen their faces, their pain. That is why their stories must be told. Esterl reached out, gently touching Taliesins cheek. I just wish to join your knowledge with mine to make things complete.

The old druid moved away, his dark eyes blank. One can never have the complete story, Esterl.

Yet it should be as complete as possible. Too many voices demand to be heard. That is why I am always chasing time.

The all-important Eolas. Taliesin sighed. The living history of R. Your obsession, your reason for being.

It is important and you know why. Too many lays are not told and should be.

And it is paramount. Nothing else matters. Taliesin sat down in his chair.

Esterl did not know how to answer. When she looked at Taliesin, she saw an ancient, battered tome. A cracked leather cover hiding flaking parchment. The binding holding the pages together was brittle, close to snapping.

Unlike her, he was not immortal. The gift or curse of longevity given to him by the ealdorfh stayed normal aging, but in time he could not continue. Her old friends end time had started.

Which made her need more urgent. Esterl knew Taliesin had taken on a pupil to take his place; the Golden Cycle had begun. The same had happened to him over five hundred cycles ago. Nineteen years and a day of learning and journeying, to shed who they were so they could assume the mantle of being Taliesin.

... Just another source of information. Taliesins voice broke through her thoughts.

Flustered, Esterl made her way to her chair. How can you make this sound so mercenary?

Am I wrong? Do you realize what I went through to produce this? He pointed to the large black tome.

Of course I do. Esterl said softly. I am not without feelings, you know that. But I want to record history, properly and concisely. It is never easy for myself and those involved.

'I do not pursue historical knowledge for its own sake', Taliesin read from the book. 'That is the error I see in modern historical scholarship. For me, the current approach undercuts the joy and pain of the present. This is because it makes the present appear to be just another episode in a long series of episodes. It does not allow us to see that history is but a tapestry being weaved. Each weave, each thread, every knot is of import.' Not much has changed over nine hundred cycles.

Esterl shook her head. I do not agree with you. Think of Aillil and those involved, especially Brn. It was my writings and those like Den Yeah Liu to Nir that gave the grounding many would not have. The past gave them knowledge and strength to confront the present. And forge the future.

And what good has that wrought! Bitterness and anger sliced through the air. I’ve seen the fruits of our labour. There are many times I wonder if it was worth the effort. The deaths, the pain. Was it worth it?

Gently Esterl put her hand onto Taliesins. Her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmered in the glow about them. I understand how you feel. It is not natural to live past events you were involved in starting. If you have lived a normal life, you would have died a happy and satisfied man.

Yes, mayhap I would have. Taliesin acknowledged. But the point is moot. So much now has been perverted. Changed. Look about you! The dreams we had are now rotting.

That happens, old friend. But look beyond. The world is larger than this small island.

I know that!

You’ve seen more than five hundred cycles. Change is inevitable. Did you honestly believe the changes you envisioned then would be permanent?

Yes, Taliesin conceded. I suppose we were somewhat naive.

Which is why it is important to have an accurate account of that time. What did I write after what you read?

Pardon? Taliesin looked at Esterl, puzzled.

Esterl pointed to the book he held. I continued. 'History also exhibits the creative ability of the Chosen. Be it elf, human, dwarf or dolphin, there is a reason why we are called the Chosen of R. All else, be it dragon, faerie, demon or unicorn, they are but created elements of the landscape we call R.

'The Chosen were created by the Maker of All, and we should be aware of the vast sweep of the historical events that envelop us. Yet we must not be lulled by the subtle words of some voices that our present actions are too feeble to change the past we have inherited from others.' Esterl paused.

I honestly believe this is one of those tales that show the fallacy that we are too feeble to change what is happening. Be it here or elsewhere, people will read this. And mayhap give them some hope.

Taliesin closed the book. Carefully he placed in onto the table.

What you seek may fill over a thousand pages of parchment. You have the scribes with the patience and time? Taliesin raised an eyebrow. That says nothing of the patience you will be demanding of the reader.

Esterl rubbed her brow. Even as a youth, her friend could be obstinate and sarcastic. Yet she was older and even more stubborn and tenacious. And subtle.

You know I have no interest or concern of the masses. Let them read the dreary tales of romance or implausible adventures on the vellum coming from those like Osca alNarin. Those are not the readers I seek. My readers are those who see the adventures in the people who make the tale.

Then it is good we are not in your tale. What a tedious way to start a lay!

Esterl shook her head. My readers are willing to take the time. Take the chance. They are those who cry when someone dies for no reason, stolen by chance. They will cheer when someone finally stands up for what they believe in, no matter how small the victory. Like Eiryn or Brn.

Tears filled Taliesins eyes. You ask too much. Too much.

Each weave, each thread, every knot is of import. Esterl reiterated. There are so many threads involved in this tapestry. Some like Graymalkin, are from my youth. Then there is Pyrais. This weave almost covers a millennium of cycles.

Taliesin grimaced in pain for a moment. Esterl could sense a faint ache ripple through his aged body. She knew he was not able to purge the pains that were now haunting him. He drew on some magick to give him succour.

Ah, yes, the never-ending story.

Nothing exists in isolation. And there are some of us that become caught up in a large lay. Which began before they were involved and continues after.

The never-ending story. The Web of Life. The tangled threads.

Taliesin! She snarled. You know I don’t like that term!

A sparkle came to Taliesins eyes. Esterl took a deep breath to control her sudden outburst. She had always hated the vulgar slang used to denigrate a tapestry.

The old druid pointed to the black tome. I have given you what you asked for. I am sorry if you are not pleased with my paltry attempt at storytelling.

This gives me a foundation. Yet it is just a dry recitation of facts. You were there when Einion died. Let the people know of the treachery. What of the pains Brn went through to become the elf he became? These are stories that need to be told. Does Eiryn deserve to be just a footnote of history?

Taliesin looked away. Esterl knew she was asking her friend to open old wounds. Yet she needed access to his memories. She hoped her gambit for him to open himself up would finally succeed.

The memories are faint, Taliesins voice was muted.

They are not. Esterl pressed. I know for you, as your predecessors. Be it Taliesin or Myrddin, you are all the same. You have the memories. You have access to them, no matter how old. It is your way.

Esterl took a deep breath, ready to make her move. All I ask is a confirmation.

Pardon? Taliesin looked back.

While I was on Llangeinwen, when Aillil was the captive of the Blood and Stone, I met Li.

The old druid blanched. What? That is impossible. She was not able to manifest until sometime after Aillil returned to Llangeinwen.

I am somewhat unique, Esterl rebuked, because of he who is my father.

He does have a name, Taliesin remarked.

Esterl bolted from her chair. Her multi-layered silk wraps chaotically shifted about her body. Anger shattered the peace that kept her focused. It grew as a faint smile came to Taliesins face. She was exposed to the tug of the ealdorfh.

Tendrils of power sensually caressed her being. Drink from the fount. The call came from the edge. Drink. A soft moan exuded from her. A red-orange haze flitted about the edge of her vision. Slowly she rose to embrace her mistress, to become one with the Blood.

A black object, from the corner of her eye, marred the haze. A faint plea drew her attention to the table. A spectral image of a young woman with long black hair and hazel eyes pleaded to her. Only you can see me. It has been cycles. I am lost. Please help me! Help Aillil!

Li. The name oozed out of Esterls mouth. Her resolve grew, pushing away the call. Her body, spirit and mind became one again. The anger she had to Taliesin for his attempt at diverting her evaporated.

You will not let this go? Taliesin asked, resigned.

All I ask is you share this memory. Validate it.

That is all you ask?

At the moment, yes. His furrowed brow told her Taliesin did not believe her.

She is one of the small threads that make up the tapestry, Taliesin. Are you saying what she experienced is not worthy of telling?

Of course not! Taliesin snapped. He looked away, his jaw clenched. Esterl pulled up her wraps, covering her breasts, even though she knew Taliesin did not care. Getting the full story would be difficult and long. She just needed patience and control. Taliesin knew her too well and would try to push her again. She just had to be ready.

How did you meet her? The words were clipped.

Mongn. He had made three tapestries of her because of Aillil.

Esterl could see Taliesin was stunned. I never saw them.

They were part of a set of tapestries he gave to Midhr before he died. I saw them when we had tea. Later, I was in Dn Subhn and saw her in the corridors. And knew.

She found her release. It is now history.

Unstated and undocumented. Does not her voice deserve to be spoken?

Taliesin turned back to her. I will grant this to you. Each word was measured. I will give you no more.

And I do not ask for more. A sense of victory filled Esterl. The first step was being taken. The initial chapter would be forth coming. The rest would take time and cajoling. Esterl put out her hand, her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmering. Taliesin accepted it.

It was 949. When King Sdanta was mad and the first hint of danger was revealed.

[Zuri Amma]

Hey Loekie. I have not had time to read Nick's review below so please excuse me if I repeat anything.

A very good start. And from what I remember the last time I reviewed, much more concise and clearer with the information we are given about the coming story. This is quite an enticing chapter, filled with promises of the story to come as well as hinting at the potential blocks we may come across as Esterl attempts to draw information from Taliesin. Below are my suggestions and comments...

Suggestions

----> Overall I like this chapter and the exchange between Esterl and Taliesin - its a kind of 'tug of wills', which is supported by their strength of their characters. It makes them feel rounded. However�.

1. From the discussion, I can understand Taliesin's reasons of not wanting to record this story but I don't understand Esterl's passion to write it. She says it's to give the present day people the knowledge and understanding of their current situations and also for the knowledge to be passed down. This is a reasonable reason, but she seems to really care about it and I don't know this is because of her being part of The Eolas and it being her duty or if she has some other deeper reason. Maybe it's both but as we are in her point of view it I felt it could have been explored more. A character's motives help us understand them. If its just the case that she truly believes all that she is saying, then thats fine, it just feels theres more. It also may be down to the fact that we don't know much about The Eolas and how they operate.

2. Although we see what she is wearing, we don't really get description of what Esterl looks like. As this is from her point of view, I think this can slide but I just wanted to mention it. Overall the piece there are some good clear descriptions.

3. The bits with the ealdorf�h confused me. I don't know if I'm just being dim but let me explain why...

3A. She sat alone, in the overstuffed leather chair, holding a slim tome with spidery script.

Taliesin. The appeal grew stronger. The whispery bid tugged at them

When did 'she sat alone' become 'them' and who is 'them'? This made it really confusing. After analysing I think that she may be being affected by the ealdorfah through her link with Taliesin, but then the following dialogue 'You should not have been alone' didn't confirm that. In fact I didn't know what they were talking about until I reached the reason for her being there.

3B. Tendrils of power sensually caressed her being....

The second time made much more sense to me, but after the brief exchange about her giving up her quest, I was surprised that Taliesin suddenly brought the topic to the woman she saw. It would have been more fitting if had asked straight away, and also from my understanding they were not linked, so I don't know how he saw her. Magick should always be clear to understand because we all have our own notions of how it should work. By stating the hidden 'rules' early you can avoid the confusion.

4. You have some strong personalities in Esterl and Taliesin and I think that that is what will pull the reader in. From the very first sentence we have tension between them and it is kept tense throughout the piece. The most interesting point in this chapter is actually when Esterl mentions her father and Taliesin teases her about his name. Her reaction is most intriguing. What I'm trying to say here is that, while you have cut down the amount of info you are telling us about the coming story, it is still less interesting than the characters we are currently involved with - just something to note.

---> Esterl chided herself; her eagerness put her goal in peril.

Just a small suggestion that I think makes it read better...
Esterl chided herself; her eagerness had put her goal in peril.



------> Her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmered in the glow about them ....... Esterl put out her hand, her pale green lacquered fingernails shimmering.

The same description for the same thing, twice. See if you can find another way to describe it, for variety. Same goes with the overstuffed stuffed leather chair.

----> Anger shattered the peace that kept her focused. It grew as a faint smile came to Taliesin's face.

Ok, the first line is clear the second line isn't. I assume her anger grew, but I had to read it twice. I suggest�.
Anger shattered the peace that kept her focused, and turned to rage/fury/etc as a faint smile came to Taliesin's face.

Another point worth noting is whether it is Taliesin's smile that made her more angry. If so it should really come before.

------> Even as a youth, her friend could be obstinate and sarcastic. Yet she was older and even more stubborn and tenacious. And subtle.

We are in Esterl's pov here but the 'and subtle' sentence seemed as though it's coming from the narrator. Maybe its because I don't feel anyone can really describe themselves as subtle - isn't that for other's to judge? If she is subtle let her show is in the way she manipulates him.

As I said, I lovely read. The main issues that I had are to do with clarity than anything else, but of course that is a big thing to ensure you have, particularly in a genre such as this. Confusion will turn the reader off.

I hope you found some suggestions useful, feel free to discuss with me if you wish.

Zuri

[Dawn]

Wow, a great start to a book. I think in the first paragraph you use the referance to leather too much. Try using something else, the book could have a stiff wooden cover... for exapmple.

A black object, from the corner of her eye, marred the haze. A faint plea drew her attention to the table. A spectral image of a young woman with long black hair and hazel eyes pleaded to her. Only you can see me. It has been cycles. I am lost. Please help me! Help Aillil!

I also really like this point in the story, will she be able to help her..
You got me hooked I want to read more..
Dawn