Far Away

Just a small writing that describes me and a condition I might have. Hope you enjoy...

PUSHING the air out my lungs, causes a vapor of smoke to escape me. I watch as the smoke curls its dancing swirls into the air, then disappears. I liked to think that I was a machine. My heart playing the role of the engine. My brain playing the part as the computer...

Sitting on a park bench by a nearby stream, I stare in wonder at the frozen swirl of ice. I should feel something, something like what people tell me I am supposed to feel. I guess, I feel a bit cold. Pushing my gloved hands into my pocket, I squeeze then unsqueeze my hands to get some blood running. But is feeling cold, an emotional pain or physical pain...?

"Locket?"

My reaction in not sudden, but slow as I lift my head towards the voice. There I a boy I know from my school, walking towards me. A classmate I think, since he knows my name. I feel a bit awkward since I don't remember his. Or pretty much anyone in the school.

"Hey." I say.

He is close now, and decides to sit next to me on the bench.  "I am really glad, I ran into you actually."

Glad? He's glad to see me?

"I missed some of the homework the other day I was absent," He continues. "I don't think you happened to have the notes to it do you?"

I glower. Of course. He's not glad to see me. He is glad to see just some shy girl who has the notes to his stupid homework. Did I have the notes? Oh yeah. I did in my car. Would I give it to him?

"No."

He frowns. "No, what?"

"No I do not have the notes. Sorry."

I stand up, and fast-walk away, leaving him there with a dumb look on his face. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You were stupid to think you could get close to anyone. You were stupid to think you could be just as human as everyone else.

Walking away, I feel numbness take over. And I welcome it.

Don't let them touch you. Stay far, far away.

Reviews

[Shy Joe]

"Just a small writing that describes me and a condition I might have. Hope you enjoy.."

Well if your condition is being a young woman transitioning into adulthood and having lots of anxiety and mixed emotions along the way...that's understandable.

As far as the content of your writing, that's just the world we live in. The days of personalizing and making a connection with everyone you meet are done, for now. It's a dog eat dog world, and everyone is hungry.

With all that aside you have a great knack for telling a good story. You described the instance in a format that was enjoyable to read. The visualization was there and you could feel your disgruntled emotion jump out a smack the reader. You could see a young woman sitting on a bench near a stream, pondering existence, only to have some nobody trample through her world like a bumbling imbecile.

Keeping the reader reading is the best attribute of a writer...and I am a very lazy reader. You did very well in that aspect.

I enjoyed your write. Great job! Thanks for sharing.

[Cy!]

Thank you first of all, for your review. As for my "condition." it would be a little more complicated than puberty and anxiety.

It's actually more of a social problem. O_o

And I sorta got aspergers. Which sound like A**burgers. (Haha.) But anyway, if you don't know what that is, I'll tell you.

it's a form of autism. It has nothing to do with my intellectual ability. But,Asperger syndrome is a condition on the autism spectrum, with generally higher functioning, people with this condition may be socially awkward and have an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.

For me this would be ANIME. And electronics...


I usually do well, in socializing by writing. Which is why, I like to write here. I just thought I would put this here to see who could guess my "Condition". But, I don't want people to think I'm crippled or something so yeah...

Anyway, you were close. Thanks for your review!

[Shy Joe]

A fixation on anime and electronics....Can't argue with that! Sorry I misjudged your condition. I am aware of aspergers. It may be something you just can't shake off, but it will never define who you are.

If it make you feel better I don't have aspergers and everyone I talk to thinks I'm an idiot lol.

[Sira YR]

I would have done the same thing if i was in your shoes. I mean the guy didn't even ask if you were feeling well or anything. He didn't care about that; the only thing he did care about was those stupid notes. Sorry, I'm starting to ramble. Anyway, I liked this a lot and reading this I feel like I understand you a little bit better. Other than a misuse of commas at the beginning (which really isn't a big deal) the whole thing was great. Looking forward to reading more from you, Locket :)

[Cy!]

Thank you for reading. >^< it was hard to write since it was a personal experience. It wasn't my worst experience haha...*awkward laughter*

I couldn't write the worst, because- well you know, no one wants to tell their worst. So I just tried to zoom in on one of the moments, I felt pain.

Thank you for reading! Really appreciate it! (Yes, I know. I got to work on my commas... )

[Sira YR]

You are very welcome. And I hope u know that u have a friend here :)

[Cy!]

that's so nice, thank you!