Suddenly Chapter 14

Okay, Misha tries to get handsy with Adrian in this chapter, but I don't think there's anything else that could cause concern.

Adrian's POV
Misha and I decided to leave in his car. He was going to drive me home. Well, after he put me down, anyway. We just sat in comfortable silence on the way to my house. The only noise was the gentle hum of his car, and the radio.
“Hey, Adrian?”
“Yeah?”
“Your mom wouldn't freak out if we were a little late, right?”
“Not at all, I told her I was going to watch the football practice, so I'd be late.”
“Ah, okay. Well there's this one place I kinda wanted to show you.  It's not too far from here.”
“Oh? I don't suppose you're going to tell me anything else about this place?”
“Nope.”
“Fine. I'm only going because I love you though.” I look over and smirk at him.
“Awww.” He took his right hand off of the steering wheel to place it on my thigh. I yelped and he laughed. He didn't do anything inappropriate, he just held it there. It felt soothing in a way. I put my hand on top of his, and I could see him smiling in the dimming light.
“We’re almost there, don't worry,” he reassured me gently.
A few minutes later, he turned down a road I would've normally missed. Trees lined either side of the path. He drove us down a small hill, and parked in a gravel space that was probably meant to be a parking lot. It looked like a dead end just surrounded by forest.
“Wait here,” he said softly, gesturing with his hands to stay, as he got out of the car. He went around to the trunk and pulled something large out. He then walked over to my side of the car and opened the door.
“After you,” he smirked. Smiling, I stepped out, quickly noticing the large bundle in his hand was a very big, thick, and black blanket.
“Just hang in there, it's not too much farther from here.” He put an arm around my shoulders as he led me down a narrow path, barely wide enough for the both of us.
The rough gravel we were standing on became more fine as we entered a clearing. It was almost too dark to see at first, and I probably would've fallen on my face had Misha not guided me the whole way. Next thing I know, my shoes are sinking into sand. I look up and see a magnificent full moon and an amazing arrangement of stars reflecting off of a small lake. I audibly gasped at the amazing sight. Misha let go of me, flattening out the blanket on the ground. He sat down and gestured for me to do the same.
We laid there for what seemed like an eternity. I was resting my head on his chest, and he had his arm around me. We stared at the stars in awe, and I even recognized a few constellations.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” I could practically hear the smile in his voice.
“Yeah, it's amazing.” I whispered, in complete awe.
He hugged me closer to him when suddenly, a shooting star streaks across the sky.
“What are you going to wish for?” he asked me.
“Are you crazy? I can't tell you, otherwise it won't come true!” Of course, being the lame cliché-loving type, I had silently wished the night would never end.
“Fiiiine,” he grumbled.
We laid there a little bit longer, and then before I knew it, Misha had moved above me began to kiss me passionately. I wasn't even shocked at this point. I just went with it. Our lips danced together in harmony. I had one hand around his neck, and I moved my other hand up to his hair. I pulled him even closer, and everything else in the world faded away. It was just us. He held me gingerly at the waist, and things were really starting to get heated when my phone decided to start buzzing wildly. Misha made a pouty face and rolled off of me, as I looked to see who it was. My mom was calling me. I tried to level my breathing as I answered.
A: Hey, mom. What's up?
Mum: Are you going to be home soon? Your dad’s in a bad mood.
A: He's always In a bad mood…
Misha looked at me curiously, but didn't say anything. I silently thanked him.
Mum: Just wrap it up, okay? You have 45 minutes to be in the house.
A: Fine. Love you.
M: Love you, too.
“Who was that? And why the horrible timing? Not cool…”
“It was my mom, she says I have to be home in 45 minutes.” I sighed in disappointment. Stupid shooting star.
“Oh, well let's wrap it up now, and I'll drive as slow as possible.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Misha got up first and offered me his hand, which I gladly took. He pulled me up right into a hug. I hugged him back tightly.
“Thank you for bringing me here. This was easily one of the best nights of my life.”
“You're welcome, Adrian. It was my pleasure. I love you.“
“I love you too, Misha.”
He finally released me from his arms, and I shivered. I suddenly realized that it had gotten really cold, and my thin flannel just wasn't cutting it.
“Are you cold?” Misha asked, concern evident in his voice.
“No…” I lied, and I shivered again.
“… Yes.” I admitted. He automatically shed his jacket, then draped it over my shoulders. I snuggled into the warmth he had left behind. Misha saw my expression and chuckled.
“You look adorable wearing my clothes,” he teased, winking.
“Misha!” I laughed, pulling the jacket tighter around me against the pressing chill in the air.
We walked back to the car, and Misha opened the door for me. Once I had crawled in, he closed it and walked around the rear to put the blanket back. When he finally got into the driver's seat, he put the key in the ignition and blasted the heat. Misha backed up really slowly as to not hit anything, his face focused.
As soon as we were on the main road again, he had to speed up because of traffic. It wasn't long before we were only five minutes from my house. Then, over the radio, I heard Haley Reinhart start to sing Can't Help Falling in Love, so I turned it up a few notches. Not blasting, but just to the point of being able to hear the words clearly. And I started to sing along.
Wise men say, only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
I look over to Misha and smile as I continue. He returned it dazedly.
Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows, surely to the sea
Darling so it goes, some things are
meant to be…
Take my hand, take my whole life too
Oh, for I can't help falling in love with you
I kept singing along, but Misha reached over and turned the volume back down.
“I didn't know you could sing like that.”
“It's not a normal thing, trust me. So don’t get used to it. I've just always loved that song.”
“Normal thing or not, that was amazing.”
“Thank you…” I blushed madly. Hopefully he couldn't see me because of the surrounding darkness.
Eventually he pulled into my driveway, and I let out a sad sigh.
“I guess it's time for me to go…”
“Yeah… Are you sure you don't want me to walk up to your house with you?”
“I'm sure. If my parents saw you, they would kill both of us. My mom would probably suspect that we weren't at the practice and we were partying or having sex.”
“Well, she wouldn't be entirely wrong…” He smirked, winking at me. I smacked his arm gently, laughing.
“Oh shush, you.”
“Come on! We both know what would've happened had she not called you!”
“But she did, so…”
“Maybe next time we won't get interrupted,” he said in a low voice. I smiled before leaning in to peck him on the lips one last time.
“I'll see you tomorrow, babe. I love you.”
“I love you too, angel eyes.” I blushed and he offered me a soft smile. Damn, I loved that smile.
I hurried up to the house with five minutes to spare, the cold making me curl in on myself. With one last wave to Misha, I shut the door gingerly behind me. My parents were already in bed, so I just crept up to my room quietly. I knew my mom heard me come up the stairs, so I didn't bother going in to talk to her. I opened the door to my room just as my phone vibrated. I wasn't surprised to find that it was Misha.
M: Look inside the left pocket of my jacket.
So that's what I did. I pulled out a beautiful ring, a blue band to be exact. The edges were silver, but the middle was the deepest ocean blue. My favorite color. I stood there in shock. Once I had composed myself enough to type, I responded.
A: Is this… For me…?
M: Well, if you're talking about the promise ring, then yes. Do you like it?
A: I love it! It’s beautiful. <3
M: Awesome! I hoped you would like it. I have a matching one.
A: I’m gonna go die of happiness xD
M: Noooo! Don't die, please!
A: I won't lol.
M: Good. Btw, does it fit ok? I can get the size changed if it doesn't.
I slid it slowly onto my ring finger. Exact size.
A: Nah, it fits perfectly. =^.^=
M: Great! Well, I should let you sleep now. Good night <3
A: I don't want to sleep, but I guess I kinda need to. Good night <3
Once I had yanked my pajamas on, I crawled into bed, and my cat curled up next to me.
Today was a good day, I thought to myself.

The next morning, I woke up feeling happier than normal. Knowing that I was going to see Misha and my friends at school today made it so much better. I blushed when I remembered the last time I was with Misha. I remembered the shooting star. I remembered the promise ring. Smiling, I slid it on my left ring finger before picking up my phone and getting ready for school. As I walked out of the door, I grabbed Misha’s jacket and shrugged it on. Good luck getting this back anytime soon. I smirked to myself as I walked to the bus stop.
It wasn't long before Misha and I were both on the bus. I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. Misha digs around in his pocket for a second before revealing a penny in between his fingers. Grinning like an idiot, he held it out to me.
“A penny for your thoughts?” he quipped.
“I just love how warm your jacket is.” I giggled.
Misha sighed overdramatically. “I am never getting that back, am I?”
I pretended to think about it for a split second before shaking my head, causing Misha to chuckle. He slid his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer, resting his chin on my head.
Being pressed to his chest brought back last night, and I caught myself blushing. “Would you just take the penny already?” Misha joked, waving it in front of my face. I blinked and scrunched up my nose at him.
“Nope. No charity case here,” I retaliated, causing him to groan and throw back his head.
“Touché, angel. Touché.”

My meeting up with Matty this morning was a short one. Her hand was gripping tight to Jensen’s, and her eyes darted cautiously to the passing guys. I instantly felt bad for wanting to leave, but I also didn't want to get in the way of her and Jensen. I was happy that she's happy, but I missed hanging with her 24/7.
So, I went with the safe, “I'll see you at gym” and took off, pushing away the guilt from leaving.
Matty didn't talk to me all day. I knew something was wrong by the way she kept looking up at Jensen like he was about to disappear. But I also knew that pressing Matty was never a good idea. She’d quickly start to do this thing called stonewalling, or giving one-word answers.
Needless to say, my day wasn't going very well.
Well, then I remembered that I got to see Misha 8th period. The grin grew on my face until my cheeks hurt. I wonder if this will be how I'll feel on my wedding day.
I shook myself.
Wait, what?
Disoriented by my own thoughts, I stumbled into the classroom.
Misha came in a few minutes later, talking casually to one of his theater friends about the improv performance they were going to put on. He greeted me with a short peck on the lips before smirking and dipping down again, wanting a more detailed kiss, I suppose. Blushing madly, I pushed his face away, causing him to giggle. I rolled my eyes.
“Mr. Collins, I would hope that you would have an interest in finding your seat. That is in juxtaposition to you snogging your girlfriend. Sit.”
Misha snuck a wink at me before sliding into his chair.
There was a half hour of taking notes that passed by before Misha slid a paper at me. Confused, I quietly peeked at the message, then automatically started blushing again.
‘So, how about finishing what I started last night? Maybe some dessert to go with that?’
I bit my lip as I contemplated the message. I knew that he was joking. He had to be. It was way too early to do anything like that.
Right?
I couldn't remember the last time I was in a serious relationship.
Casting a wary glance at Mr. Shepherd, I turned over the idea in my head again. What the hell am I supposed to say to him? Yes? I can’t do that. I’m in high school, for God’s sake. Doing that would land me a one-way ticket to rejection, repulsion, and, most likely, a court case. No? What if Misha thinks that I don’t like him because I won’t agree to it? Fear crept through me. He can’t leave me. He wouldn’t. Right?
A nudge to my upper arm brought me back to reality. I blinked, then realized abruptly that nearly the entire class was staring at me, including a skeptical-looking Mr. Shepherd. The blush rose to my cheeks instantly. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I could hear my blood roaring in my ears. I wasn’t thinking out loud, was I?
The teacher uncrossed his arms and leaned back against his desk. “Are you going to answer my question, Ms. Holmes?” he demanded gruffly. My relief was short-lived as half of the class, if not more, burst into giggles.
Still embarrassed beyond belief, I cleared my throat and stared at the smooth surface of my desk. “I didn’t hear. Sorry,” I muttered, just barely stopping myself from leaping up and running out of the classroom by clutching the sides of my chair.
Mr. Shepherd sighed and pushed himself up to begin his usual leisurely pace around the room. “Do try to pay attention, Ms. Holmes. Your education is why you’re here, not the drama.” With that remark, he started to teach again. I drowned him out, of course. I could just ask Misha for the notes later. My stomach dropped.
Oh, yeah.
Misha.
As if he sensed that I was thinking about him, my phone buzzed with a message from the child himself.
M: Hey, are you okay? Hope you weren’t too unnerved by all these idiots.
I bit my lip and tried at a grin, but it only made my stomach churn.
A: Yeah. I think so. That was super embarrassing tho.
M: Sorry. Didn’t think that the message would take you by that much surprise.
I swallowed. I could feel his eyes on me as I typed my response.
A: I was just a little shocked that you put it on paper.
M: Good. Bc I definitely want you to come over tonight, if you know what I mean. You can prob ask Matty to lie for you and say that you went over to her house for the night. ;)
My throat closed up. Well, at least he’s forward. I thought a minute before responding carefully.
A: I don't want to get Matty into trouble… Besides, I need to study. Trig has been really hard for me to keep up with. :/
M: Awe, I'm sorry to hear that. Did you want to just tell your mom I'm a girl so you can come over and study? I mean, with my name, that's usually what people think. Anyway. You can bring your textbook, and I'll show you what I know.
A: That'd actually be really nice. Thanks :D
I knew the plan would work, but I also knew Misha would probably try to pull some funny business while I was there. I would just have to tell him to focus. I needed to pass that class.

“So, Misha IS a girl, right?” my mom asked for the third time.
“Yes, mom. Misha is a junior who took trig last year. She's going to help me study for the test tomorrow. She lives right down the street, and I'm going to take my bike down there.”
“Fine, be back in time for dinner, or else,” she said in a warning tone.
“I will.” I turned away to get my book bag, and roll my eyes. She's so difficult sometimes. Once I had everything together, I went out through the garage and sped down the road to Misha’s house.
Before I knew it, I was pulling into his driveway. I set my bike down in front of the garage carefully and walked up to the front door hesitantly. Just as I brought my hand up to knock, the door swung open. There stood Elizabeth, Misha’s little sister.
“Are you my brother’s girlfriend?” She asked, tipping her head to one side. I laughed lightly.
“I don’t know, you should ask Misha himself.”
“Ask me what?” Misha appeared from around the corner, a big grin spreading across his face when he saw me.
“Hey, Misha!” I waved happily.
“Heeey,” He stepped forward, past Elizabeth. “Liz, why don’t you go and see if mom is ready to go?” Elizabeth nodded her head and sped off into the next room. I gave Misha a questioning look.
“They’re going out for dinner, meeting a few friends. I asked to stay here and help you study, and my parents were fine with it.”
“Sweet. Well, I have everything in my bag here,” I said, gesturing to the bag hanging limp on my shoulder. “Should we get started?”
“I can’t even get a hug first?” Misha made a rather silly-looking sad face.
“Who said anything about no hugs?” I laughed as he pulled me in for a bear hug. We stayed like that for awhile before I tried to pull away, but was unsuccessful.
“Uh, Misha?”
“Yeees?”
“Are you gonna let me go now?”
“Not just yet.” I could hear the smile in his voice when suddenly my feet left the ground. He walked into the living room, while I feebly attempted to escape. I gave up as he slowly set me down on the couch. I took my bag off of my back, noticing how nice the living room looked. It was a smaller house, but every small space was put to use.  In the middle of the room, there was a dark, wooden table with an open Trig book on it, along with pieces of lined paper scattered about.
“Let’s get started then, shall we?” Misha said as he sat down across from me. Misha looked at a “more simple” problem to start, only to huff and stand up.
“I’m gonna have to sit next to you. I can’t read these problems upside down.” He furrowed his eyebrows and I laughed, patting the seat next to me. When he sat down, he made a point to lean on me while gesturing to the first problem. I rolled my eyes, trying to pay attention.

About an hour passed, and I was starting to get the hang of this set of problems when Misha asked me if I was ready to try the next section. I groaned, slumping back into my seat.
“This is too much. I give up,” I said, folding my arms in front of me. Misha looked away from the book to stare at me.
“Me too,” he said in a low voice, as he leaned forwards towards me. Sirens went off in my head, and I didn’t know what to do. I told him earlier I didn’t want to do this, that I needed to pass the class. I grudgingly put up a hand to stop him from coming any closer.
“Misha, not now.” I said as he backed off, looking hurt.
“But why not? We’ve been at this for more than an hour, I think you deserve a break. How can you even stand looking at the book this long?” He whined.
“I need to pass this class! I’m already behind and my parents say that if I don’t keep up, they’re going to pull me out of our high school to take online classes! I can’t risk that!” I said, exasperated.
“You’re stressing yourself out, Adrian. You need a break. Do you want me to go get you some water or something?” He leaned back, pointing toward where I assumed the kitchen was.
“Fine, small break, but then I need to get back to Trig, deal?”
Misha nodded and walked off to get a glass of water. Once he was gone, I sat up, and looked at the beaten up textbook once more. I scowled and slammed it shut. I couldn’t even look at it anymore. I hate Math. I put my head in my hands as I heard footsteps approaching.
“Here.” I looked up to Misha holding out a glass for me, which I gratefully took. I thanked him and finished it quickly, setting it down.
“Feel a little bit better?” Misha smiled encouragingly.
“Just a little bit.” I smiled gently. Misha put his arm around me, and leaned back. The couch was so comfy and welcoming, I felt like I could fall asleep at any moment. This felt more like a home than my house ever had. I wasn’t sure if I meant the house or in Misha’s arms, but I was too tired to care.
Just I as was drifting into a light sleep, Misha leaned over to look at me.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
“Hey.” I replied softly.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he said sadly.
“I don’t want to leave either.”
“Then stay, I can drive you to school tomorrow.”
“That’d be nice, but I promised my mom I’d be home soon.”
“How soon?” he asked. I pulled out my phone, checking the time.
“About an hour. I might have to leave earlier because I have to bike home, depending on how dark it gets.”
“Ah, so we have time.”
“For…?”
Misha gave me a wink and moved forward, his lips capturing mine in a sweet, blissful moment. My eyes fluttered shut, too tired to think through the situation clearly. I was completely content in basking in his scent and presence. One of my hands carded itself into his hair lazily. I wasn’t really in a big rush. Spending time with him was one of my favorite things to do, after all.
We stayed like that for a while. I barely even noticed that Misha’s hands were starting to slowly creep upwards until...
I gasped. His hands paused. Alarm bells were going off in my head. This isn’t okay. He’s feeling me up. This is too far. Why the hell aren’t you stopping him? But, as his lips gently slanted to connect with mine again, I blew off the thoughts. It’s high school, I retaliated. S**t like this is bound to happen.
For the first time I’d ever been felt up, it wasn’t all that bad. The fact that he wasn’t exactly good at it gave me confidence that he hadn’t done this very often, at least. His hands kept up their wandering as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I'd never really found putting your tongue into someone else's mouth as enjoyable, but I let him anyways. I love him. He won't go too far. He knows my boundaries.
Misha shifting forwards even further, one of his arms now caging me in, startled me. He was almost on top of me at this point, and the bells were going nuts in my head, but I ignored them yet again. Just because I've never tried this before doesn't mean it's wrong.
I was praying that no one would walk in and find us like this, but at the same time, the feel of Misha kissing me passionately and his fingers gently stroking along my skin kept me from speaking up. Relief rushed through me as his hand came back down, but then they didn't stop. As his fingers approached the waistband of my jeans and restarted to play at the zipper, I finally paid attention to the alarm bells.
My eyes flew open and I shoved his hand away, almost tumbling off the couch I was moving so fast. Misha looked shocked as he stood, too. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then, he cleared his throat. His gaze flitted awkwardly to the floor. “That was a dick move, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, babe. I thought that you were ready.”
I couldn't see straight. I was shaking too hard for that. Misha was moving towards me with his arms open, but I recoiled.
What the hell was I doing? What was I thinking? What was he thinking?
A squeak passed from my lips when I tried to say something coherent. Oh my God, would we have gone through with that if I hadn't come to my senses? My brain felt numb from all of the questions that were bombarding it. Before I could stop myself, the words flowed out of my mouth. “Misha, I-I think we need to take a break.”
His jaw dropped open. I almost regretted saying it, but deep down, I knew that it was the right choice. “A-Adrian, I said that I was sorry. I-”
My own voice caught me off guard. “Misha, I know. I just… I need time, okay? Just some time.”
A heartbroken look spread across his face, and I felt guilty for a split second, then steeled myself. No. This is the right decision. “But… what if you decide that you don’t love me anymore?”
My breath caught in my throat. You don't just stop loving someone, right? “Misha, that isn't gonna happen. What we have doesn't stop. But… I need you to respect my decision to put it on pause, okay?”
I couldn’t work up the courage to look him in the eye, so I instead focused on his Adam’s apple as it bobbed, betraying his fight for composure. “Okay. I owe you at least that. At least-” His voice cracked. I bit my tongue to keep the wince in. “At least let me walk you to the door.” This was quieter, even more vulnerable, and I quickly decided that I should grab my bag and get out as fast as I could before I was guilted back into his arms.
“Yeah, okay,” I whispered back, all traces of my boldness long gone. I dipped down to snatch up my bag from the couch and hurried to the door, hyperactively aware of Misha’s hand resting gently on my elbow.
His hand bumped mine as I reached for the doorknob, and normally, I would’ve grinned and maybe even winked at him. My hand flew back, heat covering my face as Misha’s face dropped. The door opened and I stepped out, fully intending to make a break for my bike and get the hell out of there.
“Adrian, I-oh, s**t.” I didn't even have to ask him what he meant. I could see it for myself.
My dad’s black, sleek, and expensive bike was strewn on the ground of the driveway. But that’s not the part that made my blood boil. I stalked over to the bike and knelt down to run my hands along the flat tires. Footsteps pattered after me, and I clenched my jaw. “Adrian, I am so sorry. I-”
I cut him off, voice cool and resolute. “Did you do this?”
The deer caught in headlights look on his face told me enough. Huffing irritably, I grabbed the handlebars of the bike, hoisted it upright, and started walking. Misha came after me, and I simply called over my shoulder to him. “You know how my dad gets. How could you do that, when you knew that I would get in huge trouble for it?” Misha successfully blocked my way, and I collapsed into his chest, I was so surprised. He stumbled back a bit, looking dazed. A tiny package plopped onto the concrete, and Misha looked so horrified that I immediately knew what it was. “That’d better not be what I think it is.”
“That depends on what you think it is.”
“Un f*****g believable!” I kept going, the slight shake returning to my hands as Misha called after me.
I scoffed at his plea. “Hey, let me give you a ride home!”
No way. His hand would start on my thigh and he would apologize over and over again and then I would agree to giving the condom in his pocket some use because I can be guilt tripped into anything. “I live right down the road. I’ll surely find a way to survive. Leave it, Misha.”
“But-”
“I said, ‘LEAVE IT!’” A glimmer from my hand caught my attention. Ripping off the promise ring, I snarled, “And take this with you!” before throwing it back at him and storming away.
The walk home was a blur. Misha didn’t try to gain my forgiveness again. I almost couldn’t hold the bike up anymore by the time my house was in sight, I was shaking so bad. The tears were gathering in my eyes as I let the bike rest against the side of the house. They were falling down my cheeks as I told my mother that I wasn't hungry from the stairs before continuing to my room. By the time I closed the door, I was sobbing, hand clamped over my mouth so my family wouldn't hear and send me to another faulty psychiatrist.
Oh, my God. What have I done?
My cat was staring at me from across the room, head tilted slightly to the side. Anger quickly taking control, I grabbed my pillow and viciously whipped it at him. “Stop looking at me like that!” I sobbed, voice gravelly and sore. Throwing myself onto my bed, I put my face in my hands and mindlessly cried my eyes out until I was too exhausted to do anything else.
I took up a fetal position, knees tucked into my chest and arms wrapped around my shins. What just happened? Did Misha really try to have sex with me? Did I really pronounce a break with me and Misha? What am I gonna do at school tomorrow? Is this what Matty felt like?
I felt the blood drain out of my face. How could I do that? Matty was held down by people she didn't know who tore her shirt off as she told them no over and over again. I was coaxed into it by my boyfriend. It was completely consensual in his eyes. How could I compare the two?
It was bad enough when it was someone you knew. I felt a new level of compassion for my friend and, before I could stop myself, I was reaching for the phone. And then, my phone was pressed to my ear. It rang three times before a voice answered. “Hello?”
I almost choked on my own saliva. “Jensen?”
A sleepy, muffled, female voice in the background mumbled, “Who is it?” and Jensen quickly put two and two together. “S**t. Adrian?”
My mouth hung open, unable think straight. Finally, I blurted out, “Why are you using Matty’s phone at…” The glance over at my clock made my eyes widen. “10:55?!”
A string of curse words came through the line before a shuffle was heard. His deep, tired voice came through again. “Look, it's so not what it looks like…”
Anger immediately took over, and I quickly snapped, “So, you're not sleeping with my best friend?”
A silence stretched, then a sheepish Jensen answered, “Not in the way you're thinking.”
I was shoving on my boots, swearing like a sailor and having every intention of storming into Matty’s house and whooping Jensen’s a*s ten ways till Sunday until a small smack and an offended, “Ow!” echoed through the phone, followed by a, “Gimme that, you a*s.”
And then the person that I really wanted to talk to came on the phone. “Adrian, hey. What's up?”
The stupid tears were in my eyes again. Sniffling, I choked out, “I broke up with Misha.”
A shocked quiet dominated on the other end, broken only by Jensen whisper-yelling, “What did she say?”, which was followed by another smack. “Oh, hon, what happened?”
And then the sobbing was back, wracking my body as I tried to get something out. “H-he tried to-Oh my God, he wanted to have sex with me, Matty! I'm 16! I can't… I won't… Oh my God, what the hell is happening to me?”
Her response was immediate this time, soothing and sedating. “Just breathe. You're going to give yourself a heart attack. Now, what went down?”
It took about 20 minutes of on and off crying and talking to get through the entire thing. As Matty was still processing the story, the sentence blurted from my mouth. “I know that it's nothing compared to what happened to you, and I'm sorry that I'm making such a big deal out of this.”
She sounded furious when she came on next. “You listen to me, Adrian, and you listen hard. What happened to you was bad. And what happened to me was bad, too. But one wasn’t more severe than the other. Don’t you dare think that what he did is anything less than what those creeps tried. You understand?”
I nodded, then forced out a watery, “Yeah.” because I remember that she couldn’t see me.
A sigh came through the phone. “Good. So, I suppose that you want to know why Jensen answered instead of me?”
A laugh bubbled out of my mouth. “Unless you want me to “accidentally” let it slip to Felicia without proper explanation, that is.”
Jensen’s muffled voice made me giggle. “Are you done with your stupid girl talk yet? I want to go back to bed.”
The dull sound of a blunt force hitting a soft surface sounded weakly in the phone. “Quit hitting me!”
“Well, you should be thankful that it was with my pillow this time! Stay here, I’ll be back in about 15 minutes.”
The last I heard of their argument was Jensen doing a crude impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger before Matty shut the door. “Now that I’ve got you alone,” she began, her voice turning serious. The line crackled with her deep breath before she started speaking again. “I know it sounds like we’re moving super fast, but ever since my big fight with Rich, J climbs in my window almost every night. We never go past cuddling and talking and the occasional kiss, really. I just… sometimes, I need the comfort only he can give, you know?”
I shook my head to clear the memories of Misha hugging me furiously when I was upset over what had happened on the bus. “A bit too well,” I whispered before I could stop myself. Matty’s gasp of realization made me flinch. Great. Now I made her feel bad.
“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
I cut her off before she got emotional about it. “It’s okay, really. I’m the one who wanted to know.” And, because I hadn’t made enough mistakes in the conversation already, I blurted, “Can I talk to you about Jensen?”
I squeezed my eyes closed and lightly hit my forehead. Why did I have to go and say that? Her voice caught a little on the line, and I wanted to scream about how stupid that was. “I-I guess? What about Jensen? Oh my God, did he make one of his idiotic jokes again? I can talk to him about-”
Almost against my will, my mouth opened again and the words just flowed out. “I don’t trust him.”
Matty’s breath catching made me tense. Oh, yeah. Real good decision, Adrian. “W-What do you mean, you don’t trust him? How so?”
By the terse undertone of her voice, I knew that she was well aware of what I was going on about, but just didn’t want to believe it herself. I did what any normal human being would do. I backtracked out of the situation as fast as I possibly could. “You know what, it’s probably nothing. Hey, I’m gonna go to bed.”
A scoff took me by surprise. “Oh, no. You are going to stay here and tell me the truth rather than some bullshit answer. I can take it. Just… Why don’t you trust him?”
Oh, God, I wanted so bad to just take back ever bringing this whole thing up in the first place. Shutting my eyes, I contemplated just hanging up and avoiding her the entire next day, but I knew that I wouldn’t get through the day without some support from everyone, especially in my attempts at avoiding Misha. Taking a deep breath and letting it out again, I went on. “Jensen has a reputation of being a bit of a playboy, Matty. I think that you’re his longest relationship, and-”
“That must be a sign. That I’m different, you know?” The urgency in her tone made me come to another horrifying realization. That she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince me.
Swallowing down the urge to blurt out how messed up the situation was, I kept my voice calm and steady. “Matts, you need to be honest with yourself. Do you trust him?”
A shaky breath came through the phone, and then she responded. “I… Of course I trust him. I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t trust him. I wouldn’t invite him to sleep in my bed every night if I didn’t trust him, Adrian!” Even hearing the anger in her tone, I still needed to protect her from her own decisions.
“You trust that he isn’t a serial killer. That’s great. But do you trust that he’s not off with some other girl when your back is turned?”
There was a pregnant silence, and I checked multiple times to see if she had hung up, but she was still there. At least, she hadn’t ended the call. Finally, her voice came through again. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “I-I’ll see you tomorrow.” And the line went dead.
I sat on the edge of my bed for a long time, phone resting against my forehead. I shouldn’t have said anything. I made her cry, for God’s sakes!
Shaking off my thoughts, I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling until sleep took over at last.

The next morning was a bit of a blur. It was just like any other morning. Pour the cereal, rinse the dishes, take a shower, brush your teeth.
But, the entire time, I was wondering about what the hell I was going to do about the bus.
Surely, Misha wouldn’t find a reason to ride it this morning… Right? Not after I broke it off. Not after all that. He only started taking the bus to be by me… But does that mean that he would use the bus ride against me? No, he wouldn’t. I know him. He’s not bold enough… But then again, he did try to have sex with me just the day before. What is happening to my life?
I was so paranoid that I looked behind me every three seconds, at that exact interval, as I walked to the bus stop in the misty fog. I jumped when the bus pulled up and sat all the way in the back, not making eye contact with anyone, but eyeing each person up individually. To another person, I looked completely off my rocker. To me, I was taking necessary precautions.
I watched everything silently, and stiffened considerably in my seat when the bus pulled up to Misha’s stop and opened the door.
To my dread, the creaky sound of footsteps and familiar tilt of the bus came, and Misha entered. His eyes scanned the seats, and his face fell slightly before he saw me in the back. My heartbeat stopped. D****t.
Misha started for me and I was trying desperately to think of something to deter him when he seemed to teleport. I jumped a bit.
Smiling down at me, he motioned his eyes hopefully to the empty part of the seat beside me. As much as I wanted to jump into his arms and just apologize, I knew that I needed to hold strong in my decision.
I swallowed thickly and moved my violin case over to block the opening. Avoiding his eyes so that I wouldn’t see the look of disappointment on his face, I pretended to be overly intrigued by the zipper on my hoodie.
I felt my jaw involuntarily tighten as the sound of him sitting down in the seat opposite me resounded through the awkward silence of the bus. The door snapped closed and we were soon moving again, bus rattling in its normal rhythm.
Please don’t talk to me, please don’t talk to me, please don’t-
“So, Adrian, I, uh-”
Because nothing is going right in my life right now.
He cleared his throat slightly before continuing. “Look, I know that you’re mad, but I… I really thought that you were-” He drifted off, leaving the word unspoken so the nosy b*****s on the bus wouldn’t know what he was talking about. Ready.
Finding courage that was more from my lack of good sleep the night previous more than anything else, I snapped back at him. “Misha, you look. I told you that I need some time to cool off. One night does not count as enough time. So don’t bother taking the bus tomorrow, I’ll be getting a ride with Felicia, anyways.”
Satisfied with how I’d handled the situation, I faced forward and didn’t say another word for the rest of the bus ride, instead opting to put in my earbuds and ruin my hearing with my Skillet playlist.
I was the first one off of the bus when we got to school, which was extremely uncommon in itself. I didn’t approach Matty when I saw her, which was again very rare, but I needed to protect myself from the person that I’d talked s**t about’s life the night before. I was feeling lonely and depressed when I accidentally crashed straight into someone, causing him to drop the book he was carrying. I swore. Great. While you’re pissing off your friends, why don’t you go ahead and piss off a complete stranger while you’re at it?
“I am so sorry,” I started, running a stressed hand down my forehead. “I haven’t been having a good day. I can probably buy you a coffee or something. God, I’m sorry.”
A deep, familiar chuckle sent my head whipping up and a smile onto my face. “Seth! Oh my God, you idiot, I thought that you were a random person! Could’ve spoken up, maybe? Saved my heart some of its beats.”
Seth was a friend of mine from my orchestra class, and as I stood looking at him, I realized how little we had talked lately. I felt an embarrassed blush flit across my cheeks. I was too focused on Misha to pay any attention to my other friends. How awful of a person am I?
“Thought that I would let you suffer,” he teased, dimples spreading across his cheeks as he grinned down at me. “And I’ll take you up on that coffee if you tell me what’s up.” This one had a bit more of a serious undertone, though. I nodded up at him weakly, knowing that I didn’t really have much of a say in the matter. “You want to invite Matty along?”
I felt my back stiffen, but I really wish that it hadn’t, because Seth caught the gesture immediately. “We don’t have to bring her along. I just thought-”
Again, seemingly against my will, I cut him off. “She already knows. I talked to her last night.” My gaze fell to the floor, shame flooding through me as I remembered our conversation. “I said some things I shouldn’t have.”
Seth put a hand on my arm to make me look back up at him. “That’s okay. We can just talk. Meet me by my car during lunch, we’re going to Starbucks.” Giving one last little wave at me, he disappeared into the crowd. I smiled after him. I missed talking to Seth. He was a good friend who always knew the right thing to say.
Taking two large steps to get to my locker, I used the small key in my pocket to open it, grabbed the things I needed for the first few classes of the day, and closed the locker just as easily.
I’m here. There’s no turning back now.

My day was consisted of avoiding people and trying to not lose complete control of my life up until 3rd period. I walked into the band room (I still think that it’s biased when people call it that) with my stomach churning and hands quivering slightly. Next period, I would have a choice of hanging out with Matty, who I had torn the life decisions apart of, Misha, who is going to easily be able to charm me back into his arms, or being completely alone and at the mercy of whoever decided to befriend me.
Miserable decision to make, right? But it really was all on me, in this case.
As I took my seat next to Seth, he glanced over, ducked to grab something from his bag, then did a double take of my profile. “Hey, what’s up with you, grumpy?” Unable to formulate an answer without sounding petty or like I was simply complaining, I shook my head and proceeded to grab my violin from its case. It took all I had in me to ignore his narrowed stare. “Hm… did something else happen?” I shook my head. “Well, that’s a lie and we both know it. C’mon. Tell me.”
Sighing rather dramatically, I turned sharp eyes toward him. To my satisfaction, he seemed to shrink back a bit. That’s right. Fear me. “What do you want me to say, here? I have the next class with Matty AND Misha. And I have literally no other friends in that class. I am going to be consumed by the creepy, clingy crowd if I’m not hanging around with someone! Oh my God, I know that it’s so petty, but what am I supposed to do?”
There was a moment of silence where Seth just stared at me with wide eyes. I fully expected him to burst into laughter, so I was taken aback when he smiled kindly at me and put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, it’ll turn out okay. I promise. I can sneak in there, if you’d like, since I’m just T.A.ing next period and he won’t mind if I leave anyway.”
I blinked at him. “Wow, that sounds like you know exactly what you’re doing, here. Done it before, Mr. Rule Breaker?”
His answering blush made me laugh. “Maybe, maybe.”
That class seemed to go by fairly quickly, considering my mood. Seth and I talked nonstop, and I found my mood in general slowly getting better. Before I knew it, the bell had rung,and I had completely forgotten about my looming dilemma.
Well, that is, until I walked out of orchestra, still chatting with Seth, and ran right into Misha’s chest. I didn’t know who it was, and I was apologizing again when his cold voice sounded above me. “Adrian. Fancy meeting you here, with your new boy toy.”
Shocked at his accusation, I flickered my gaze from Seth to Misha and back again before shaking my head to clear my thoughts. “Woah, Misha, that is not what is going on here. We were just-”
He cut me off heartlessly, glaring daggers at Seth. “No, it’s alright. I get it. You wanted a “break”. Taking a new guy out for a spin, huh? Un-f*****g-believable.” With a downright disgusted look at me, Misha turned on his heel and walked off, fuming.
I was starting to feel like absolute s**t again when Seth stated, straight-faced, “Well, he seems like a pleasant guy.” Not expecting that to come out of anyone’s mouth, let alone his, I burst into laughter.
Maybe this whole thing will blow over. Maybe it’ll all turn out okay.

Just as he promised, Seth managed to get away from Walsh, making up some s****y excuse about not feeling well or something.
Overall, fourth period wasn’t as painful as I had anticipated. Whenever I would risk a glance over at Misha or Matty, Seth would block my view and say something completely outrageous to distract me. Even so, I couldn’t help but notice in my sneaking glances that Misha was hanging around with Matty and Jensen. Jensen seemed to be helping his friend through this “rough time”, while Matty seemed to be curled in a ball the entire time on the bleachers, burying herself under the layers of a jacket that dwarfed her so significantly that I knew it was Jensen’s. She looked like she was completely encased in her thoughts.
“What piece are you thinking of doing in front of the class?” I snapped my head back over to Seth, guilt in my face as he raised his eyebrows. “Well, are you gonna answer my question, or not?”
I cleared my throat nervously. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. What did you say?”
Instead of jeering at me, he smiled kindly. “Quit looking over there. You’re making me look bad as a friend. Just kidding. That isn’t what I said. I asked what piece you were planning on doing. You know, in front of the freshmen class.”
For some strange reason, my mind immediately defaulted to Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star. I felt like a complete idiot as I began blushing. Of course I had to think of that stupid night. What is wrong with me?
Seth’s hand settled on my shoulder. “It’s fine if you don’t know yet. I would help you out, but I love pretty much every piece we’ve ever done, so I wouldn’t be much help.” I forced myself to laugh at his attempt at making my mood uplift.
I need to get my mind off of the whole situation. I needed to focus on something else. And Seth was one of my good friends. What could possibly go wrong?

Lunch went amazingly. We chatted the entire time, so much so, in fact, that I didn’t even finish my food in time for us to go back. I didn’t talk about Matty or Misha at all, I was so caught up in all of the things that had gone on in my life since we had last talked. Even during the car ride, I felt good. Seth kept turning on the radio over me talking, but after a few times of me scowling at him and turning it back off before continuing, he gave up the losing battle.
He walked me to my study hall, because his class was right next to it. I started to wave, then made a sound of surprise when he hugged me around the waist. “Quit thinking so much about everything,” he murmured in my ear before heading off, grin still on his face.

Walking into English was like a walk of shame. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, and I sat in my seat so quickly that my a*s was already sore. Felicia’s bright red hair flashed in my peripheral vision as she whipped around to talk to me. I could almost feel her energy level fall dramatically. “Hey, what’s up with you?” she asked, and Rich looked up from his drawing to butt into the conversation.
“You weren’t at lunch, and I heard that you broke up with you know who. You okay?” I looked up from pure shock. How did he know that? Did Matty tell him? No, she wouldn’t. They haven’t talked for days now. So how did he-? Sensing my confusion, Rich went on. “It’s all over the school. I overheard two of those pompous jerks talking about it in the lunch line. Sorry, I kind of assumed that it was true…” he trailed off, and I knew that they had both seen the look on my face.
On the inside, I wanted to cry. I just wanted to lock myself in my room for the rest of my life and just cry. But I knew that I couldn’t. It was a miracle I made it so far in the day without totally losing it. So, I put on a blank face. Blank and boring and normal and so fake that I might’ve puked had I seen myself in a mirror. “Yeah, I did. It’s true. Can we… talk about something else? Like… what are you drawing?” It was the first thing that came to mind, but my eyes immediately flew to look at what he was drawing.
It was a low blow and I hadn’t even taken the time to realize it. Rich didn’t like talking about his “doodles”, and they were super private to him. The only time he ever showed us the drawings were when they were of something that wasn’t as personal to him. But this one belonged next to the Mona Lisa, honest to God.
It was of a girl, laughing. Just laughing. Her strands of hair tumbled down her shoulders and seemed to be just as lively as the smile on her face. She was holding her stomach, as if she were on the recovery end of a laughing fit. The detail in her scrunched eyes looked like a galaxy, and I vaguely thought that Rich must’ve spent forever on them. The familiar gentle curve of her nose was dusted over with a light blush. I was in awe and dread at the same time.
Rich snapped the book shut as he noticed that I was staring. It couldn’t have been more than a second that I was looking at the piece, but I knew exactly who it was. My eyes locked on his, giving him a warning look. This whole thing was getting out of hand.
But his gaze snapped away from mine to settle on the doorway and follow her over to the little pod she had adopted since her spat with Rich.
It was the very girl whom he had drawn so beautifully in his sketchbook.

Rich ran off after class before I could get a hold of him, head down and clutching his sketchbook to his chest. It was weird, seeing him like that. He was usually so open and flirty, but he hadn’t said anything for the rest of English. The teacher even called on him to answer a question because she was worried about him.
Felicia came up on my other side, making a face after Rich. “Who shoved a stick up his a*s? What was the drawing of that he was so embarrassed, anyway? Matty in lingerie?” There was a pause where she laughed, then stopped as she caught the thoughtful expression on my face. “Oh my God, it wasn’t, was it?”
I smacked her arm lightly. “Christ, no!”
“Then what was it?!” she demanded, impatience shining through on her face.
My mind raced. What do I say here, because I don’t want to get on Rich’s bad side and Felicia’s bad side. Then, I would have basically no one. “I don’t know, I couldn’t see clearly.”
She caught me in my lie, of course. She opened her mouth to keep pushing and-
“Hey, Adrian.” I whirled so fast I nearly got a migraine. Matty was standing in front of me, looking at the floor. “Can I, uh, talk to you?” Felicia raised an eyebrow at me. “Alone?”
I knew that I was going to get it, for going off on her about Jensen. I knew that I never should’ve done it, really. I’d just been so emotional and pissed off about nearly everything. “Yeah, sure.” I kept my tone light, but my head spun with how incredibly nervous I was. Or maybe it was an aftereffect of my whirlwind, I wasn’t really sure. “See ya later, Felicia,” I told her, holding up a peace sign in response to hers.
Matty got right into it. She didn’t talk bullshit all that much when she had her mind set on something. “Adrian, about last night, I-”
Feeling my emotion start to bubble over again, I winced as I cut her off. “I’m sorry. I never should have said that about Jensen. He’s a great guy, even if he doesn’t deserve you.” I gave a nervous laugh. “No guy deserves you, of course, I just-”
It was Matty’s turn to stick her head in. “Woah, calm down, I’m not here to disown you.” Even though it sounded ridiculous when she said it like that, I felt a sense of relief flow through my body. She took a deep breath and continued, this time much slower. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. It was childish of me to do, really, it was. I just… sometimes, I feel like I’m not good enough for him, and I get super defensive when someone suggests that he’s gonna, um… leave me for someone else.” I could tell that she was starting to get emotional by the way she tugged at her hair. It was always her special way to ground herself. “I do trust him. Most of the time. And that is the truth. Because I know that he loves me too much to hurt me.”
In my head, all I could think about was that it was high school, and relationships in high school rarely last afterwards. Thankfully, for once recently, I was able to clamp my mouth shut. “Okay, Matty. I trust him if you do.” My eyes widened as she wrapped her arms around me. Well, I guess I’m getting an attack hug. Smiling, I hugged her back.
Two strong arms quite suddenly clamped around me and Matty and lifted us so that our feet were just off the floor. Alarm raced through me, spreading rapidly from my head, until Matty started laughing. I instantly relaxed. It was obviously someone she knew well, otherwise the next comment wouldn’t have made it past her lips. “Put us down, you a*s!”
A deep, familiar chuckle met my ears before feet met ground again. Jensen gave Matty a quick little peck at the corner of her lips before slipping an arm around her waist. “You’re always calling me that, and if I’m an a*s like yours, I’ll take it as a compliment,” he said cheekily. Nausea made me roll my eyes. I was literally getting worked up because Jensen made a funny and flirty comment to Matty, just like Misha used to do to me. My stomach twisted again. I realized that I didn’t like those words: “just like Misha used to do to me”. A shiver ran down my spine. C’mon, world, I can’t get a minute of being free of even the thought of him?
Matty snorted and scuffed Jensen gently on the side of the head. “Oh, shut up,” she teased lightheartedly.
To my great shock, Jensen’s eyes locked on me. “Hey, have you asked the lovely lady if she’d like to join us tonight yet?”
At first, I thought that he meant as in when he “slept with her”. Another term that I didn’t like, by the way. The idea of a playboy like Jensen messing around with my best friend made my blood boil. He’s gonna get handsy one of these days, I told myself in my head. Even with all of that going on, I made room in my mind to reason out the ridiculous thought. That’s a thing Matty and Jensen do to make the world easier to handle. It’s a couple thing, and besides, it would be super weird if I were to be invited to such an intimate event.
Matty’s little realization gasp jolted me back to the present. “Oh, shoot. Sorry, we were talking about something important.” Her hair flew in her face as she turned back to me, grinning ear to ear. “Okay, we were thinking, there’s this one trampoline place over on Third Avenue. And we watched a shitload of YouTube during lunch. There’s this thing…. And it’s called the 24 hour challenge.”
My ears sure did perk up at that. “No way! You guys are so gonna get caught,” I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. Not to mention, I would never be able to successfully sneak out. Not with my parents the way they are.
Another light smack later to quiet Jensen’s sudden outburst of laughter, and Matty retaliated. “We’ve already thought it out. Did ya think I didn’t because I’m blonde?” she joked. “We’ll just tell your parents that you’re sleeping over at my house for the night, and you know how mom is. She sleeps through a wrecking ball and doesn’t get up until noon. She’ll never even know that we’re gone.”
As sound as the plan was, I still was doubtful. I would be grounded for the rest of eternity if I were caught somewhere other than Matty’s house. As if on cue, Jensen sighed and rolled his eyes. “I guess we’ll just be there without you. Me and Matty, here, and Sebastian and Gen and Jared and Mish and… we’ll just have to replace you, I guess. Too bad. We’ll be having the time of our lives. It’s truly a once in a lifetime opportunity,” he coaxed, slowly leading a reluctant Matty away. She squirmed under his hold, but seemed to have very little effect on him.
I knew what game he was playing. I knew what he was trying to pull. And goddammit I wanted in on that stupid little challenge. “Fine,” I called after them. Jensen stopped, and Matty grumbled under his arm.
“Sorry, what was that, pumpkin?” he raised his eyebrow and smirked.
What am I getting myself into? “I’ll do it.”
Triumphant smirk on that b*****d’s face, he marched off, Matty still squished in his half-embrace. “Great! See you then! Wear something comfy!” And they melted right into the crowd.
Oh, dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Author's Note

As aforementioned, the actors that these characters are based off of on looks are not necessarily in personality. This chapter was a joint effort between myself and my writing buddy.