Slipping Away

My final thoughts.

They say life is everything

from your childhood memories of innocence, 

to an old age of wisdom of self understanding. 

For one second I'd have believed 

that everything will get better 

once I'm older and happy,

but what we don't realize is

everything in the middle;

where we go through lots of obstacles,

and lots of pain like a never ending 

cycle of a storm hitting you straight

in the face. 

As humans we are different in many ways

compared to other organisms, and yet we have greed,

selfishness, blind eyes and even

a lack of empathy that we strive to

find but can't give out to those that also need it. 

In my mind I scream every day and cry 

from inside and out when no one's

looking, hearing or feeling. 

All they can see is this big mask

that I put on myself to show

the most happiest and down to earth person 

they could ever imagine. 

But once that mask is off,

then they get scared and find me 

something far much worse that

they could ever see coming right at them. 

If only they knew how much I was afraid 

to show my true colors of despair and 

darkness, then they wouldn't have left me 

in the same spot they found me in. 

As a human being how much worth could I be to those

that blind themselves from the truth and understanding;

how much worth can I be to those

that are only caring to themselves

and how much worth am I to a human race

that's destroying it's own nature and life?

How many words do I have to say,

that i have to show and that I have to spell out

for them to see past my creation

of a beautiful brick wall?

How long will it take them to finally understand 

the way through my mind and theirs?

Wells maybe one day we can all wake 

from our own nightmares that we created ourselves.