Ugly.

We all feel like this sometimes, huh?

My sanity’s been ripped away from me.

I’ve been stripped and abused for all to see.

I have nowhere to run from the punches he throws.

My flesh is all black and blue because of the blows.

But I’d rather be beaten than hear his words.His insults are a cancer that just can’t be cured.

The more he pumps them into me the more it spreads.

He makes me feel so ugly, the water in the sink is red.

If I cut away my older flesh then maybe I’ll be pretty.

The taste of blood in my mouth, metallic and gritty.

Reviews

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

ph gosh, I hope he is really not hitting you,
a girl deserves no such,
not even foul, or evil words,
my ex. bf, said mean things to me, it only hurt me,
---mishel :(

[Wildecat]

I really hate abuse of any kind and hate to see anyone in this situation. You explained it to the T.

[Doug]

metallic and gritty has something to do with the taste of blood, correct?

[PasDeChat]

I like it, but dont understand the "metallic and gritty". It is so true, the physical punishment goes away, the verbal a cancer that eats at who you are.

[SM Davis]

Your imagery here is impeccable. The delivery though is a little choppy. I write a lot of rhythmic poetry, as do many "poets" but there is a time and place for it. I would love to see this evolve into a short story or a fabulous piece of prose.

You have a voice that is passionate and filled with "imagistic" thoughts. Fantastic. There are writers that have been writing for years that don't have that ability. It is either there or it isn't. A person that writes and writes well is not the same as a writer. One can always learn to master the language...it doesn' t necessarily mean they have the passion to deliver a punch with their writing. You have that punch...it just needs a bit of reigning in.

100 peaches for your imagery here. The only piece of advice that I can give is in the beginning try not to get so hung up on the technicalities of writing....let your voice flow and be heard. I think you'll find a success that is unmatched by anything you've had before. A writer is born. Anyone can "write". I believe you are a writer. Your profile speaks of it. I think you said if you don't write you become unsettled. Passion is a driving force, and you have that force inside of you.

[darkgurl]

WOW! Full of raw emotion, this is very well said and with force, like this...Kim