*Doomsday. [Song.]

IM FINISHED :3 This is gonna be MY song. Ima team up with Max meb to help me come up with a tune...he's the only other musicion I know around town that I relly respect...hell actually he respects my work...but i need his help & one day itll show up on my

 

:[

 

Let’s watch as the world burns.

Orange flames dancing as it turns.

This is our fault, we couldn’t stop.

Now stand still & watch as the stars all drop.

 

Streets overcrowded with panicking masses.

Cracks in the roads spilling poisonous gasses.

All the rivers run thick with boiling blood.

Corpses wash up on shore, pale & caked with mud.

 

We brought this wrath down by our idiocy.

We destroyed ourselves with our hypocrisy.

Now watch as the oceans boil & rage.

And Mother Earth is encased in a fiery cage.

 

Let’s watch as the world burns.

Orange flames dancing as it turns.

This is our fault, we couldn’t stop.

Now stand still & watch as the stars all drop.

 

The trees are transformed into flaming torches.

That claw desperately at the Sun that scorches.

The sky is falling and children are bawling.

Angels are dropping and hearts are all stopping.

 

Comets come crashing through the atmosphere.

People stop to watch them, paralyzed by fear.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

It shouldn’t end but it must.

 

Let’s watch as the world burns.

Orange flames dancing as it turns.

This is our fault, we couldn’t stop.

Now stand still & watch as the stars all drop.

 

This is our fault.

This is punishment.

This is our fault.

Our time’s been spent.

Reviews

[Lynx]

Hmm... I think some parts of this seem quite forced, and the grammar a bit too. I'm not sure the rhytm would flow well in a song either but overall as a poem it's awesome, xD This is my fav. stanza

Comets come crashing through the atmosphere.
People stop to watch them, paralyzed by fear.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
It shouldn't end but it must.

[ATG]

I thought this was a great poem/song. It was great. I really enjoyed reading it. It was well written and perfectly got across the doomsday theme.

[Wunderlich]

Very interesting. It flows well and's a good read. Can't wait till the entire song's finished :D

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

reading this reminds me of everyone in the world not caring about our mother earth, or themselves. I love your use of words, and the flow definitely sets the mood. I hope you have your own album one day with this song on it! i would buy it!!! :)

~may

[Walkingblind]

I like the brutal honesty here it's awesome!
I'm just sitting here imagining how many things our childen
wont see because we failed to take care of our planet.
Again it's cool I'd like to hear it sung.

[Flame DM]

amazingly written! just wow! Now i want to know what the melody to this piece sounds like!

Flame

[Shade334]

"Let's watch as the world burns. Orange flames dancing as it turns." My favorite line. Really good lyrics. Be interesting to hear it with music.

[Sean M. Addams]

very deep piece you have here flow is good and imagery is great... will be great when music is put with it... overall nice job on this one!!!

[Savanna Lee]

I can't wait to hear this put to music! This is great =D

[Mr. Deft Diction]

Even though I don't have the same outlook, I really like the way you put this together. I can definitely hear this on a track. When you get it done, you gotta upload it. I'd like to see where this goes!

Nice job with this!